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#1 melody

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Posted 11 August 2013 - 05:26 PM

I’m not sure how many of you here Wofers and readers can tell that a  marriage-life without kids is a life without purpose. What I am enough sure is…… nowadays there is a decrease desire of motherhood/parenthood in Europe and in the US. At early stage of marital-life others wait to have the first and the last child at 40’s and most choose not to have any though it doesn’t mean they can’t bear a child.They prefer to pass their lives with a dog/cat. :o :blink:


While European and in US citizens limit themselves for a parenthood,immigrants enjoy a merry-making babies.  :blink:  Is this brought by culture difference,principles in life and religious belief???


Child-Free People…….is this a nowadays’ new in the society we live in? :o

Child-Free People……what brought them to such kind of freedom? :blink:


Child-Free People……are you the one of them? :ph34r:



 


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#2 Keith Johnson

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Posted 11 August 2013 - 05:40 PM

Complicating this question are the following:

A husband who already has kids but the new wife doesn't.

The new wife already has kids but the husband doesn't.



#3 melody

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Posted 11 August 2013 - 06:03 PM

Complicating this question are the following:

A husband who already has kids but the new wife doesn't.

The new wife already has kids but the husband doesn't.

 

 So i this mean..if one of the two does have kids, it's one of the factor they choose not to have anymore? But if one of the two doesn't have and he/she wants to have , how's the marital-life then?


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#4 Mr. Lee

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Posted 11 August 2013 - 10:02 PM

 So i this mean..if one of the two does have kids, it's one of the factor they choose not to have anymore? But if one of the two doesn't have and he/she wants to have , how's the marital-life then?

Very complicated question Melody. :unsure:  I cannot speak for others but our married life is great and yes we do not have children and no neither my wife nor I have children from a previous relationship, at least none that I know of on my part.   :rolleyes:

 

There are many reasons in today's world to have children and also many to not have children but each of us has to do things for our own reasons, yet all we have to do is look at the world around us and how much worse and unstable the world has become during the last number of years or so, and then think about what we might be bringing our children into and then decide for ourselves if we are happy with that. 

 

So Melody I guess it is going to be about our own surroundings and life when each of us makes a decision. 


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#5 Fritz

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Posted 12 August 2013 - 02:01 AM

Many explanations have been given, but one thing is certain.  As a country gets to be "wealthy" and it's people well educated the number of children drops drastically.

 

Japan is close to a crisis due to elder care and a shortage of young people.  US skirts the issue by importing young people through immigration.

 

Europe is also seeing this problem and is currently being supported by immigration, though in many parts of Europe, (France, Germany, UK and Scandinavia are in the news a lot on this) immigration is bringing a new set of problems due to cultural conflicts.

 

As for marital life, every couple comes up an answer that works for them.  Failure to find an answer can and does end marriages.  Education seems to lead to fewer children...so if you want a big family stay out of school :P

 

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#6 melody

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Posted 12 August 2013 - 01:24 PM

Very complicated question Melody.   I cannot speak for others but our married life is great and yes we do not have children and no neither my wife nor I have children from a previous relationship, at least none that I know of on my part.  


 

Yeah i found it"s a complicated question when it comes to speak for others’ couple considering it’s something personal but this is how we grow,learn and develope our critizm if we know how to discuss it sincerely with others.Sitting on the bench...just to look around and questioning why things are happens that way could makes us think “ it’s me who is crazy or the others are?” (like Einstien did) :lol:

 

There are many reasons in today's world to have children and also many to not have children but each of us has to do things for our own reasons, yet all we have to do is look at the world around us and how much worse and unstable the world has become during the last number of years or so, and then think about what we might be bringing our children into and then decide for ourselves if we are happy with that. 

 

So Melody I guess it is going to be about our own surroundings and life when each of us makes a decision. 


I do believe there are many factors behind such choice and we are free to do it (this is why i wrote freedom). You makes me understand that the worse and unstable world we have now contribute such decision. Just to think about how happy we are without kids in this complicated and questionable :lol: world  then asking if we will be still for all those difficulties we encounter nowadays much more for the years to come! I have seen parents feeling envy to those who don’t have kids while going to a vacation (just for example)…falling in line for a check-in the airport and staying many hours on the car for a travel with children make them feel tired and exhausted. I have heard some parents whose siblings are already adults saying “if i could have a chance to go back my past and younger years,never i decide to have kids.” :blink:



 


Edited by melody, 12 August 2013 - 01:26 PM.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!


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#7 melody

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Posted 12 August 2013 - 01:32 PM

Many explanations have been given, but one thing is certain.  As a country gets to be "wealthy" and it's people well educated the number of children drops drastically.

 

:o  Is this mean that wealth is no more an health in the society!  :lol:   :P  So the more a country gets to be wealthy,the more children drops drastically! :blink:  Why? Because children get to be vicious/spoiled ( hope this is the correct world to refer) and they are pampered with all those new things that the modernized world has to offer?

 

Japan is close to a crisis due to elder care and a shortage of young people.  US skirts the issue by importing young people through immigration.

 

Europe is also seeing this problem and is currently being supported by immigration, though in many parts of Europe, (France, Germany, UK and Scandinavia are in the news a lot on this) immigration is bringing a new set of problems due to cultural conflicts.

 

Supported by immigration bcoz of a shortage of young people  and because of this the country encounter another problem to solve..... cultural conflicts.Another problem! OMG...

 

As for marital life, every couple comes up an answer that works for them.  Failure to find an answer can and does end marriages.  Education seems to lead to fewer children...so if you want a big family stay out of school :P


Every couple is unique to the way they deal with their marital-life and of course i totally agree that they comes up an answer suited for their needs and works for their convenient. On the other hand i also agree that unable to see one of them (most wives than husbands) contented for not having kids can end marriages.


So….where can i find a big family Fritz, in the home of the elderly since there are shortage of children everywhere? :P

 

The adventures continue

Fritz


Yah it should be continued…babies are God’s gifts that the world must go on. :wacko: Ready for this kind of adventure? :P



 


"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!


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Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#8 jsnpilot_787

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Posted 11 January 2014 - 07:09 AM

There is just so much to consider nowdays when it comes to raising a child. I think so many things have changed that one should really consider it carefully. I am not saying that me and my wife will never have a child but if/when we do the timing has to be right. Sometimes that time is just not right until later in life. In our case, we really have to get on our feet better before we could ever consider it. We are barely making ends meet and can't even afford any health insurance right now. It literally takes every single penny of our income just to make it right now. We couldn't possibly afford to raise a child at the moment. Other things to consider are where the world is heading? Things are bad and just don't seem to be getting any better. It don't seem like a college education is really worth much anymore. I have my degree in the healthcare field and it has still been tough finding any kind of barely decent job. What will the future hold for the children of today? Will it get better? Will it get worse? These are things that we strongly consider when discusing the matter of a child. I wouldn't want them to grow up and have it the way we have it right now. My parents had it better than we do (speaking career wise), nice retirement and everything that goes along with it. Nowdays it seems that is becoming a thing of the past. I do remain optimistic that things will get better career wise for me and my wife but when? I really don't know. Im just using our example as to why I think a lot of people postpone the idea of children. They are a MAJOR responsibility not to be taken lightly or carelessly. Lots of thought should be put into it. I just see so many people that can't afford to take care of their children these days and it seems like grandma and grandpa end up having to raise them. They shouldn't have to do  that.

 

To sum it up im just saying that there are many factors that should be taken into consideration and at the end of the day for whatever reason I think a lot of people make the decision that is best for their lives. Im not one to say that people should or shouldn't have children. Everyones situation is different. I will say this though. We will never have a child/ children based on the stereotype (oh but it's the normal thing to do, or you just should). People will pressure a couple into it and that is wrong. When and if we have a child (most likely we will) it will be because that is what we want, not because someone else thinks we should or to please the masses.


Jason

#9 melody

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Posted 08 April 2014 - 04:14 PM

There is just so much to consider nowdays when it comes to raising a child. I think so many things have changed that one should really consider it carefully. I am not saying that me and my wife will never have a child but if/when we do the timing has to be right. Sometimes that time is just not right until later in life. In our case, we really have to get on our feet better before we could ever consider it. We are barely making ends meet and can't even afford any health insurance right now. It literally takes every single penny of our income just to make it right now. We couldn't possibly afford to raise a child at the moment. Other things to consider are where the world is heading? Things are bad and just don't seem to be getting any better. It don't seem like a college education is really worth much anymore. I have my degree in the healthcare field and it has still been tough finding any kind of barely decent job. What will the future hold for the children of today? Will it get better? Will it get worse? These are things that we strongly consider when discusing the matter of a child. I wouldn't want them to grow up and have it the way we have it right now. My parents had it better than we do (speaking career wise), nice retirement and everything that goes along with it. Nowdays it seems that is becoming a thing of the past. I do remain optimistic that things will get better career wise for me and my wife but when? I really don't know. Im just using our example as to why I think a lot of people postpone the idea of children. They are a MAJOR responsibility not to be taken lightly or carelessly. Lots of thought should be put into it. I just see so many people that can't afford to take care of their children these days and it seems like grandma and grandpa end up having to raise them. They shouldn't have to do  that.

 

 

I have been busy for many things & many things on my mind that I didn’t notice your post.

 

I agree nowadays much to consider when making & raising kids, unlike in the Phil. culture it is like “bahala na” term. Nevertheless,I still believe that it depends on one’s culture ,mentality and the kind of society we live in.

Never tell never ( Italian term), if you are not really determined to have a child nor one time careless (like my friend,she forgot to take the  pill) and such timing would be a wrong one. The right time for many would be difficult to achieve .As you said,many things have changed not only in one’s life but in the world we live in. Many factors behind those. I think the family income is the major part of it. Though not enough sure of it coz I have seen rich couple who never wish to have kids. They prefer to enjoy life to the fullest and have a peaceful retirement.

Some just want to have a child to know what kind of feeling to be parents ,as it can be viewed as the most beautiful happening in one’s life. But when it comes to giving natural care & attentions to the kids,they are away most of the time busy for the career. They leave the kids to the baby-sitter or to grandparents .

 

To sum it up im just saying that there are many factors that should be taken into consideration and at the end of the day for whatever reason I think a lot of people make the decision that is best for their lives. Im not one to say that people should or shouldn't have children. Everyones situation is different. I will say this though. We will never have a child/ children based on the stereotype (oh but it's the normal thing to do, or you just should). People will pressure a couple into it and that is wrong. When and if we have a child (most likely we will) it will be because that is what we want, not because someone else thinks we should or to please the masses.

 

That it is..everyone of us is different and we take decision according to what we desire/we want or what others tell us and what we think the best for us and for our kids in the near future.

 

Thanks Jason for sharing your opinion. :)


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Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 





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