Check this out Options

[jdstone1]

Came across this story about a British mans experience or perceived experience about being scammed. This is a very detailed account, Is it a good case study or a study in paranoia gone wild you be the judge.

http://hospitalscams.blogspot.com/

[ellumbra]

OK - One by one, I will answer your comments. MrkGrismer If that is the impression you get - please remember that on this occasion the scammers do not have the usual luxury of anonymity - which has afforded me the opportunity to draw attention. It is my only leverage - in a situation where they are quite content not to communicate with me openly - doing their dirty work by proxy and masquerade - or simply depending on the girl herself to stir up my emotions. Hence her constant reappearance. This is not about the girl - it is about the real estate firm who are trying desperately hard to get the material removed from the Internet - by trying to instill doubt and guilt.
It has already been proved to me that they employ tactics of subterfuge - anyone is open to influence.
Who can I trust? I have already been taught that the tentacles of corruption are far-reaching.
People on these forums are at a distinct disadvantage - with respect to me vindicating their judgements - because they can neither prove their innocent motivation - nor can they even prove who they are.
It is significant that on the only occasion that I was able to identify electronically the author of a comment - it proved without doubt, that he was masquerading as someone else.
I'm certain that was not the only occasion - and surely they will try it again.

My only advantage is the publicity - without it - there would be silence - guaranteed - and yes I have used every available space I could find - because it has to be a real threat before they take it seriously.
I can assure you - the threat is a financial one - it threatens to affect their business - they are not concerned about anything else - or they would communicate with me directly - which has not happened since August.
It is strangely coincidental that the response to all this has occurred, only in recent weeks.
I am only posting here out of interest - not out of necessity - I have said my piece - although it remains to be concluded.
However - this thread presents a rare opportunity for desperate people to have access to me. But I can disappear whenever I choose. The blogs, the videos are all under my control. See - how the tables can be turned. That is the message.
Pang Again - I assure you - the complete video is nowhere to be found in cyberspace - the one you have seen was just a teaser - they don't know what the whole video contains - and neither will anyone - other than a court of law - British law not Philippine law.
DrDiskYou have already proved by your ill chosen words that you are directly connected to the scammers - so you are going to be ignored - apart from a reminder that Mayen is a consumate liar and what on earth would make me suddenly start believing her again - or anything or anyone remotely connected to this whole episode? Especially you - with your transparently contemptuous words. Cockroach - indeed - the very word I used in a letter recently. Come on - where's your imagination - can you do no more - even when it was required of you to rise to the occasion - than copy, pirate or mimic?
nite guy As I have stated elsewhere - too much faith is put in the reliance on the written word - the reliance on seemingly legitimate hard copy as evidence. Ignoring a whole sequence of inconsistencies and lies, there are other dimensions to communication that are equally revealing of the truth. Because of their dependence on bamboozle, the illusory reality of the Internet - the scammers left themselves wide open in other areas - thinking that they could rely exclusively on the words, the documents, the false testimony etc. They could not have been more wrong in this presumption. Truth is detected by far more than just these means - for example - the fact that they have resorted to sending me threats - but not directly - under one of their known aliases.
There is no room for generalisation here - we are dealing with a specific case - no amount of previous case history will shine a light on this - apart from the conclusive, widespread knowledge that scammers do exist - and that some countries are more renowned than others in this respect. But hey - like you - when in doubt, I'm always willing to lean towards the side of benefit - which is why you say I was ripe to be taken. I am sufficiently aware of that.
Unless you are aware of my intentions with regard to my relationship - then do not presume that I am like yourself - if I was being lead by any part of my anatomy - it was my heart.
The scammers were made aware of my suspicions very early on - and they did not respond in an appropriate manner - and were incompetent in providing the fake evidence in time for my departure.The bill that they stated was in their possession on Monday 13th August - was not transmitted to me until 21st August. So - I see - all the scanning machines in Paranaque and Makati and the surrounding barangays had failed?
Come on - they were stumped - they had to discover how far the hospital were prepared to incriminate themselves - by providing a fake bill - and that took some time. The truth is - they had written me off as a loss - and only went that far when I started sending emails around stating my suspicions.
So - that is not bullshit - simply the fact that it was not perceived as the scammers intended.
John C We seem to be taking this very personally - for someone who is only a spectator? Have you anything remotely constructive to add? Why so defensive? Perhaps you have a beautiful relationship with a Filipina - congratulations. I know it can happen - those were my hopes as well. I am not attacking an entire race of people - I know that there are good people everywhere. This is a specific case, involving specific people - and should only be dealt with as such - so please try to leave your biases outside.
pulangbanca It all depends on what you call facts - as I mentioned before - there are many dimensions to communication - many subtle hints - instincts. Living through it day by day - one gets really tuned in. You only have my words to go on - they do not necessarily convey the understanding that I have - being the person who lived through it.
My entire blog - the whole story - is only lodged in one place. The remainder of my postings are simply links to it - and the method I have used - on the internet - the very same tool that they used - to prevent the matter from sliding away into darkness.
My writings - being able to hide them or reveal them at will - or remove them completely - or distribute more and more - in this particular case - and uniquely - give me a leverage over the situation - without which I would be completely powerless. It has prompted all sorts of people, only recently, to start commenting - being very free with their uninformed judgements. My judgements are very informed - because I have lived through the events - this is all a part of those events - observing the reactions to what I do - and it is very revealing.
I am now exploring the tentacles of corruption - people's willingness to jump on the bandwagon of condemnation - crowd consciousness - defensive reactions - people giving vent to their innate contempt for the west - (in association with these events - we have openly been referred to as Fat White Monkeys) which is justified to a great extent by some appaling behaviour - but to presume that I am part of that behaviour - without knowing me personally - knowing my genuine motives - is to make a premature judgement - and is to make the mistake of generalisation - something I am trying to avoid at all costs.
I repeat - this is a specific case - and must only be seen as such. There is little else that has any relevance.

There - I'm done.
Next please.

This post has been edited by ellumbra: Feb 16 2008, 02:47 AM

[MrkGrismer]

OK - One by one, I will answer your comments. MrkGrismer If that is the impression you get - please remember that on this occasion the scammers do not have the usual luxury of anonymity - which has afforded me the opportunity to draw attention. It is my only leverage - in a situation where they are quite content not to communicate with me openly - doing their dirty work by proxy and masquerade - or simply depending on the girl herself to stir up my emotions. Hence her constant reappearance. This is not about the girl - it is about the real estate firm who are trying desperately hard to get the material removed from the Internet - by trying to instill doubt and guilt.
It has already been proved to me that they employ tactics of subterfuge - anyone is open to influence.
Who can I trust? I have already been taught that the tentacles of corruption are far-reaching.
People on these forums are at a distinct disadvantage - with respect to me vindicating their judgements - because they can neither prove their innocent motivation - nor can they even prove who they are.
It is significant that on the only occasion that I was able to identify electronically the author of a comment - it proved without doubt, that he was masquerading as someone else.
I'm certain that was not the only occasion - and surely they will try it again.

Ellumbra, there are a few steps a wise person goes through when investigating if something might be a scam:

1) Search the internet to see if others are already aware of the sam. If they are trying to scam you then chances are they are trying to scam, or have already scammed others. But when the internet is searched for this scam, the only thing that turns up is stuff from you. It appears that nobody else in the entire world has been subjected to this scam, so the chances that you were scammed seems very unlikely.

2) Don't open yourself up to be scammed. Don't send money; and don't open yourself up to obligations or anything that could give the suspected scammers leverage over you. CERTAINLY don't have unprotected sex with a girl you think might scam you.

3) Stay aware and communicate your concerns to people who you trust. Find multiple viewpoints especially if you think your judgement may be impaired. Especially try to bounce things off impartial people.

4) When involved in a cross-cultural relationship. Try to learn about the culture you are dealing with, when something seems odd try to find out if it might be a difference in culture rather then a 'sign of a scam.'

5) Make sure that you have your life in order. This goes hand-in-hand with #2. If you don't have your life in order then you are both more open to being scammed and more open to suspecting wrong-doing out of innocent actions.

Now, reading your blog there are a couple of things I'd like to comment on here. (quotes are in blue)

You state at the beginning that you were still married, and that

It all started with a growing discontent - at the rut I was in.
My wife and I had been steadily drifting apart for too many years.
Happy in my work, but tired, really tired of being financially drained every month - life was seemingly going nowhere.
The mortgage hung around my neck like a slab of concrete - the house became a burden, not a home.

You were not only unhappy with your marriage, but with your entire life. It appears you were already becoming obsessed with your finances. What were your expectations? Did you really think that having an affiar while you were still married was going to somehow lift your financial burden? Here the seeds for you to see scams where none might exist are already planted.

Out of the blue - cyberspace is blue you know - I received an invitation from a young Filipino girl to become friends on Friendster. She was very pretty, as indeed a great many of them are - we started an exchange of communication. Before too long, I started to suspect that I was about to be scammed for money - he, he - I've read and I'm sure you've heard tales of the sort of behaviour that goes on - so I cut off communication.

Here you don't state that there was any attempt to scam you out of money. Instead, you are sure that a scam will be attempted. Why? Because you were contacted 'out of the blue'? Because she was a young Filipino girl? It appears already that you are somewhat paranoid about being scammed, and your solution is to cut off communication with somebody that has given no indication of attempting to scam you in order to avoid the possibility. As a person reads your blog, this appears to be a pattern with you.

This all had to proceed very secretively - I was certain that my marriage had come to an end - I wanted to move on, release the capital that was tied up in the house - but I wasn't prepared to burn my bridges completely at this stage, so secrecy was imperative.
I sold some shares to raise the air fare, arranged for a dear friend to purchase the tickets online - all untraceable to my bank account - very devious goings on - and all the time, I was feeling so much love in my heart - praising God regularly for this miracle - yes, things even improved at home - well they do if you're feeling love in your heart, don't they.

Here you are carrying on as if you are kind of 'scamming' your wife. It is all done in secret, hiding it from your wife and trying to make things 'untraceable.' The thing is, as you involve yourself in all this 'cloak-and-dagger' stuff you find out for yourself how 'easy' it can be, and you also plant in your own mind the ideas that if you can do it, so can others, and it can be done to you. This probably fed your growing paranoia. A untrustworthy person is less likely to trust others, because they assume other people are the same as themself.

A definite landmark in this period came when she sent me her cellphone number, in an effort to quell my doubts and fears about who she really was - it is impossible across the internet to know for certain - and once faith and trust are put aside, even for a moment - it can all start to turn upside down.

I doubt that she gave you her cellphone number and said "This is an effort to quell your doubts and fears about who I really am." You are putting motivations to her actions based upon your own state of mind. Since you are being deceitful in your actions, you expect it from others. Thus the reason she gave you here cellphone number must be part of some nefarious plot. It couldn't be because she wants to hear your voice, and for you to hear hers.

The intervening time was rather painful - on several fronts. I started to feel a dreadful ambiguity - on the one hand I really wanted this to be genuine, I prayed that it would turn out as it appeared to promise to my heart. But on the other hand, what if I arrived at Manila to find the whole thing a big scam - finding someone unrecognisable there meeting me? Compounding the horror of this dichotomy - no matter how much I tried, I could not communicate this fear any more strongly than the subtlest of hints - virtually undetectable hints - without it becoming very insulting. Trying to get to the truth across the internet is well nigh impossible - words are cheap and honesty is indistinguishable from deceit.

Again, you are talking yourself into more paranoia. You feel it is impossible to trust this person, so how could she ever dispell your fears? I am sure that we all had such fears when we first went to visit our significant others. I certainly did. I knew in the back of my head that the entire thing 'could' all be an elaborate plot. But I also knew by then it was a somewhat small chance. When I showed up in Manila and she was there, and nobody kidnapped me I let all my fears about that pretty much disappear.

What brought this issue to a head was the fact that I was recommended a hotel that was newly built and had no internet presence. Best advice is always to leave word with a friend of where exactly one is staying when abroad, especially in circumstances like this - I could find no trace. I even went as far as contacting the British Embassy in Manila - they wrote back saying "We are unable to confirm the existence of this hotel."
"Great" I thought - "I'm walking right into a scam" - so I confronted the poor girl with my fears, spilling out all my doubts and suspicions - it was a great relief. After initially getting angry & upset at my wavering trust - she eventually saw the funny side - me fearing for my life - kidnapping - extortion - entrapment. Well it does happen you know.

She probably recommended the hotel because it is newly built and thus much more likely to be comfortable for a foreigner. You later confirm that this was a good choice for her because you said you liked that hotel especially when compared to the old hotel that you would later stay in. But here your fears about the hotel wound up being completely untrue. Foreshadowing perhaps? Or a miniture view of what your entire story is; you being paranoid about things that you find suspicious that wind up not being anything to be concerned about?

During a discussion about decorating the house - my wife discovers that I am planning on selling up - she immediately, intuitively jumps to the conclusion that I have met somebody else - wow! I cannot deny it, confess everything - except the proposed trip - shh! that's still a secret - well it was. Even that secret seems about to be exposed - due to a phone call that I received at Heathrow, the day I returned - waiting for my connecting flight back to Jersey.

Again, you show that you are involved in the trade of deception. Your entire trip is a secret; a secret that is in jeapordy of being exposed. Secrets all around! Everybody has secrets! The paranoia builds.

I am so convinced that destiny is about to reveal someone very special - I float around for the remainder of the time before the trip.
I have managed some secret shopping on my previous visit to Jersey, so all that I'll need for the trip is over there - anti-malaria tablets, cool clothes, a new suitcase etc.
Hectic exchanges over the internet approaching d-day. My wife digs her claws in at my plans to sell the house - refuses to divorce, refuses to sell the house. All is doomed as far as I'm concerned - with no money to buy a property in the Philippines or start a business - both have been discussed - I might as well not bother going. Things go dreadfully quiet and tension in me mounts for a couple of days - waiting to hear the verdict from afar and I am more than relieved to hear back that she is still interested in meeting me - despite my seeming poverty now.

What were your plans? To sell the house, abandon your wife and abscond to the Philippines to live with your new girlfriend? Who is the one doing the scamming here?

So - the time arrives - first I have two days in Jersey, I fly back to Heathrow Sunday evening - I'm being hidden away at a friend's house while I wait for my flight late on Monday. Getting off the bus from the airport in my local town where my friend is to meet me - who should go sailing by in her car? Yes - my wife. Fortunately I had made myself invisible as I stepped off the bus.


Oops! Your scam was almost discovered! Paranoia increases.

Now - this morning, walking to catch the tricycle, Mayen looked at me and said, quite simply "Timmy, I will sleep with you tonight - I missed you last night," quite matter of fact.

This appears to be on the fourth or fifth night of your visit (difficult to ascertain). This also seems to be something that your hindsight and paranoia has turned into her trying to entrapt you into a "Honey Pot" scam. It is my understanding that until this night she has left you in the hotel by yourself. Notice here that she is saying that she will sleep with you, because she missed you while away. She didn't say that she will have sex with you. Again, your own mind probably added that. Once in bed together one thing probably led to another. You don't say how agressive you were in bed (and we would all probably not want to really know).

I meet his colleague George Mendoza - a big time broker and we all discuss the possibility of me getting a website in the UK as an outlet for Tierra Maria Estates - strangely echoing thoughts I had much earlier when contemplating Mayen coming to the UK.

This shows that some of your true intentions are to make money from this trip. Again, your own motivations cause you to question the motivations of others.

I said I'd buy Mayen a ring - a token - there are not too many to choose from but we both like one depicting two intertwining hearts - but I've not enough cash and can't draw any more - so that idea gets put aside for a while.

A strange comment. Financial difficulties already?

Mayen has already started discussing our ideas for a business - one of our ideas was to open an air-conditioned supermarket. My initial concern was that we should not be responsible for putting out of business any of the small shops already there - many of which already seemed to be stocking the same sort of goods. Mayen's father suggests that one of the better business opportunities in that area is in coconut farming - for the copra business.


Again, your concern for trying to find a way to make money from this situation. Perhaps you are trying to figure out a way that you can support yourself and your new girlfriend once you abandon your wife and abscond to the Philippines?

After dropping her off, the discussion turns seriously to talk of business - in particular the copra trade - I mention the cost of living back in the UK to try to put any capital that I get from the sale of the house in perspective - it wouldn't go very far there at all -whereas, over here, it could possibly set us up with home and business - with some to spare.

Plots and more plots.

I don't care that Mayen managed to drain me of all my money - I gave her all that was left over - anyway - "mine" is an illusion - an attitude that denies abundance. I was a willing participant

So at some level you know that you were at least a willing participant. Yet your words here still show that you hold her responsible for 'draining all your money'. Here you appear to be avoiding responsibility, and again you seem to be extending yourself beyond your own financial capabilities.

I've no idea how it would be were I poor and pennyless - but as it is - it works - and it works beautifully.
I hate the feeling of being the Big White King - the Golden Goose - being fleeced for all they can get - I loathe the undue respect that the exchange rate affords me. I will never be one of them - even when I marry - I will always be the outsider - they will always put blood before paper - but I do want to be a part of that world - a part of Mayen's life - I want to share her paradise - for that is how it is, in her province - unspoilt as it has been for years.
"Progress" may be slow in coming - but it will come eventually - at the moment there is no internet there, hardly even a telephone line - water supply is crude, power intermittent and unreliable - but the important aspects of life they have in abundance - such a wealth of spirit, of joy - a natural happiness.
I want to start a business there with my beloved - start a family.

This particular part is very revealing. It shows that you think of yourself as 'the Big White King' and you believe that all of them are fleecing you for all that they can get. You are also showing your thoughts about absconding to the Philippines. At this time, you are still married from what I can tell.

I receive a call from a work colleague enquiring after a contact number - I can't really help, I tell him, I'm at Heathrow airport waiting to go to Jersey.
I didn't realise, but he had also left a message on the answer machine at my home which was intercepted by my wife. I don't know what she's been thinking - my last contact was a text message - sent as a last resort really, just before I flew to Manila - telling her that I would not be home until 7th July (a fortnight later than she had expected) and that my phone would be off - I needed time to think. She could make of that what she would - hopefully just presume that I was staying on in Jersey for the entire three weeks.

Still keeping secrets. Still scamming the wife...

I was surprised, as I expressed in the journey, when out of the blue the relationship with Mayen became physical.
That night I asked her if she was at all concerned about becoming pregnant - should I use contraception, to which she replied that she wasn't bothered and that she thought I would prefer not to - distinctly giving me the impression that our love was to include the possibility of children - whether sooner or later - which was precisely how I felt at the time - desiring passionately to bring new life through our union.

So it was your choice not to use contraception. You knew what the consequences would be and you chose to accept them. Of course she wasn't bothered by it, she expected that if she got pregnant you would step up to the plate and do the right thing.

Mayen requests some money to help with the expense of internet cafes, as I am expecting her to chat to me daily if possible. However - Mayen is not feeling well - fever - a stiff neck - very soon the request transforms into a need for money for a health check. Her friend's brother has been hospitalised with Dengue Fever and she is worried that she might have contracted that, although personally, my perception is that there is something else going on here. The following day I send the money - not an enormous amount for me - but an enormous amount for her to receive.
I learn later that Mayen and her colleagues all ate well on one occasion after collecting the money.

So she might have Dengue Fever, her life could be put in jeapordy and your first instinct is that you are being fleeced? Well, of course, you have already convinced yourself that you are the 'Big White King' and that they are all out to fleece you. Did you look into Dengue Fever and how prevelant it is where she was living? Did you look into how dangerous it could be?

I learn from Mayen that she has had the check up - but she thinks that she is showing symptoms of pregnancy - I knew it - and has to go for another checkup . . .

Timmy, I have to go back to the doctor this day coz i felt something unusual.. my fever is gone and stiff neck but i lose my appetite and i keep on vomiting..feel so weak and im delayed, im suspecting that im pregnant huhuhuhu.. but to make sure have to go for check up again.. i'll just let you know the details after the check up.. I love you..and i mis you a lot my timmyboy..

. . . but it is too early to tell and she is under medical supervision until the 27th - I get the occasional report of morning sickness - loss of appetite - sickness.

Well, gee, you have sex with her multiple times everynight for what, 10-days? You said you were ready to have a family with her, did it happen too quickly? Did you want to get your current wife out of the way first? I notice that you did not say that she asked you for more money for this.

On the Monday Mayen informs me that she is "spotting". Unsure of what this implies I do a google search - we are still online chatting - and discover that one of the causes could be infection with some types of STD in early pregnancy.
Now - this gets very personal at this point - but in the interests of authenticity I will include the details.
I had discovered what I thought had been early signs of a boil or a spot - squeezed and medicated the area and thought no more about it - until now. Putting those two pieces of information together - alarm bells rang like crazy in my head. Herpes was the number one contender in this case - although the symptoms are varied and sometimes unnoticed - but the major implication was for the health of the suspected baby.
So I passed all this news and information to Mayen. I should go for a check up. We chat on into the early morning - a 5 hour session in all - and my brain is completely fried when we say "bye for now."

I have a complete breakdown - early in the morning - after the chat session - I can do nothing but lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling - there is no one I can talk to who sees and feels both sides of this as strongly as I do.
I am on my own - contemplating that I have made an enormous mistake in my life - I felt about to be entering a living hell - the cold, menacing spectre descends on me again - this time it doesn't go away - I've thrown away my marriage, my house - destroyed any vestiges of trust I had with my wife - possibly contracted an incurable STD - a pregnant girlfriend whom I love so deeply on the other side of the world - was she lying? Is this all true? I shall have to go underground - change my identity - I envisioned hoards of machette wielding Filipino men coming after me to avenge their family honour.
Working through it all I am left with the strongest feeling - that I would never desert Mayen - carrying our child.

The next day, Mayen denies having an STD - telling me her sexual history - last time was a year ago. Now - hold on a minute - she had told me that she last had a boyfriend two years ago - inconsistency - more alarm bells. (She had told me as well that she met with her old boyfriend in Manila a year ago - not imagining that she'd had a sexual liason at this time - I had forgotten this detail - but this is how the discrepancy was explained away.) The implications that I had even dared to think that Mayen was a "dirty woman" - of loose morals - infected with an STD - resulted in her disappearing into the bathroom - in floods of tears - and there she remained - refusing to answer her cellphone - her colleague, Miss Ann, took over the chat session - and made me feel completely ashamed for my suspicions - telling me "You should love her with heart, mind and soul - she's too young to be hurt like this . . . " - always the emotional twisting - never any attempt at calm rationality - in other words - trust your faith in her - blindly.

Your first reaction here, concern for yourself. Oh no! You had large amounts of unprotected sex in a far away land and only now are you starting to concern yourself with the inevitable consequences of that. You start accusing her of all sorts of things. None of them supported by any evidence, all of them seeming to arise from your parnoia and lack of comprehension of things she had already explained to you. Again your fears about an STD turned out to be baseless. But maybe your own doctors are in cohoots with the scammers and you really are infected?

Early Friday morning, 6:30 am after a long discussion with my wife about my fears, I check online to see if there are any messages - I might have a date to keep at the internet cafe at 10:00 am - I can't use the computer at home for chats - too many interruptions.

A couple of minutes after I log on to the Messenger (something that they can observe discretely by signing in themselves as invisible) I get a call on my cellphone from Mayen - very unusual in itself - what with the cost of international calls.

Too many interruptions from the wife? Again, you show your mounting paranoia by assuming that they are sitting somewhere logged into Yahoo as invisible, just waiting for you to log on so that they can call you.

I take myself out to the park and call Mayen on my cellphone - it's an Ectopic Pregnancy - I'm passed to someone else, I'm reminded later on that this was the female Doctor, who explains what I already know - back to Mayen - send some money - Sir Francis has paid a P10,000 deposit - groans and sobbing - speak to Sir Francis.
I dash home - in a panic - pick up a business card that Sir Francis gave me - back to the park - I call him up.
"I was just going to ring you" he says "Mayen has given me her phone. Her sister is coming soon."
We discuss things - my visit - Mayen's condition - what hospital is she in? Should I try to move my flight earlier?

That is great that he paid the deposit; he seems like a very generous man and cares about his employee very much. How many bosses here (or in the UK) would do that? Of course, your first thoughts appear to be:

But I am worried - somehow - an Ectopic Pregnancy is just too perfect, exactly the right vehicle for extortion from a loving boyfriend - and worth quite a bit of money if it comes off. I am very worried - I do go to town - sit and have a coffee - banks aren't open yet - and phone my supportive freind.
He is just amazed by this latest twist - tells me to hold on and be rational - he'd suspected all along that I might be being scammed (and so had I) but this latest event just revealed the magnitude of the scam - they were all in on it.

Paranoia again. You know what the best way to avoid that type of scam is? DON'T HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX! If you are going to have unprotected sex, be perpared for the consequences.

Convinced more than ever it is a scam - I phone my friend again - they're all in on it - hiding behind the Real Estate business - teams of girls - luring Westerners into parting with their money - small amounts by our standards - but multiply that by the amount of girls working for him and the amount of potential "clients" they can each have at any one time - and it adds up to quite a business. Maybe the odd big windfall when the result is a sale of property - remember I was prepared to do all this - buy a condominium - maybe even another one to rent out. They must all be in on the scam - Mayen, Sir Francis, Marivien, Miss Ann, Chots, Adelaide and the people at the hospital. One of the tell tale signs is the purchase of a new cell phone - remember - so that she knows who is calling.

Extreme paranoia here. Again, if it was such a big scam business why has nobody else in the entire world been subjected to it. From what I can tell all of your business plans were your own, motivated by your desire to abandon your terrible life there in the UK and try to abscond to the paradise of the Philippines, to live there without a care in the world.

My only course of action is to completely - from this point of time - cut off all communication.
That night I deleted all her emails, addresses, my profile on the dating site, Mayen's addition to my Messenger - the only way to get in touch with me that was still available was my cell phone.
I received several calls - I didn't answer them - voice messages left simply said "Timmy - call me - on my cellphone."
I was resolute - I was firm - for a whole day. Fortunately I spent the whole day, Saturday, working at a theatre and was busy until late evening. I'd told Mayen of this in an email - so my lack of communication was obviously expected - and mysteriously, despite the "seriousness" of Mayen's plight, I received nothing from her either.

So, you've now gone from wanting to have a family with her in the Philippines to breaking off all contact and abandoning her. This seems like you have a problem with personal responsibility to me. How horrible for her.

I weaken again - this time answering a live call - Mayen asks me what's going on - I turn the question around - "You tell me " I said "I'm worried." This continued without her giving me any information - until she upped the action " What are you doing to me . . ? " and burst into tears - uncontrolably - her sister Adelaide takes over the phone (perhaps Mayen's visit to her was to rehearse the script) - a brief exchange - the phone goes dead.

You've gotten her pregnant, discussed your plans to move there and start a business and raise a family with her and now you are completely cutting off communication and abandoning her when she needs you most. Yet you don't understand why she is upset by this? You then spend large amounts of time making unrealistic requests that her boss furnish you with 'proof' of the hospitlization. Even tho Mayen herself already offered to send you all the documentation via DHL if you would only give her your address, yet you state that you refused to given her your address. What do you expect? I have to say that Sir Frances has large amounts of patience, and I have to say I agree with his email to you:

What do you want me to do? Your problem with Mayen can only be solved by yourself and her. I have advanced money, I have requested the hospital to get directly in touch with you, Vien and myself have given you all the facts of the case, I don't understand this particular email.
You said you were coming and you did not. Your best bet is to get in touch with the doctor to help you. I am not in a position to help you any further.

On Sunday 19th August I receive the following information from Sir Francis - and reply to him that I am dealing with it urgently.

Tim,

Hereunder are the answers to your first three requests:
1) Dra. Leonor Leonardo, physician no.******, CP **********, email- *****@*******
2) Dr. Reynaldo S. Dizon, anesthesiologist *****, email- *****@******
3) Ma. Ana Samson Betita, patient no. 51546-2007

Dra. Leonardo, per Vien and Mayen is the main cooperator to your requirements ( I understand she was the source of above answers) and is willing to help facilitate your requests 6 and maybe give more answers to your questions 4 & 5. I'm copy furnishing both doctors with your email and this reply of mine.

We discover that the two doctors named appear to be resident at the Medical Center Paranaque - on the hospital website it is possible to access a further page of details for a few names on the list.
Seeing as we were being pointed towards Dr Leonardo - we decided to write to Dr Dizon - another reason for this was that we discovered an alternative email address for Dr Dizon - so the plan was to send our email to the address provided by Sir Francis and ask for confirmation using the email address that we had found.
A good plan - but the confirmation email was bounced back - failed to deliver.
We sent the same list of questions to Dr Leonardo - but have never had a reply.
Dr Dizon did reply however - although, in our opinion, very unprofessionally - and a lot of the questions we asked were left unanswered.

Sunday 19th August
Dear Dr. Reynaldo S. Dizon,
My name is Tim Cumper - I understand that you will be expecting an enquiry from me regarding the operation for an Ectopic Pregnancy at 7 weeks gestation - which was performed at the Medical Center Paranaque on Friday 10th August at some time in the afternoon.
I am being held responsible for paying the patient's bill.
I am more than willing to meet my obligation in this matter.
However because of the very strange procrastination that has been taking place around the method of payment I am suspecting that I have become involved in an organised fraud.
My reasons for writing to you are to ask you please to confirm the following information.
* You are Dr. Reynaldo S. Dizon.
* Your licence number is 57066.
* You were the anesthesiologist for the above operation.
* You have submitted an invoice for your work and the amount corresponds with that shown below.
* Would you please transmit to us a copy of the above invoice?
* You assisted Dra. Leonor Leonardo as the operating surgeon for the above.
* The patient's name was Ma.Ana Samson Betita.
* By which name is the patient referred to by her friends?
* The patient's Hospital ID number is 51546-2007.
* The patient is still being detained in the hospital subject to her hospital bill being paid.
* Is the patient being detained for any other reason?
* Why has the hospital not yet contacted me at all?
* Which surgical or medical procedure was used in the operation? eg. Laporoscopy etc.
* Had the Fallopian Tube ruptured?
* From the patient's perspective - was it the left or the right Fallopian?
* What is your relationship to Francis M. Jalbuena?
* Could you provide an estimate of costs to the present time?
Please can I stress the urgent nature of these enquiries and humbly ask you for a rapid reply.
Thanking you kindly in anticipation.
Yours sincerely.
Mr Timothy Ellis Cumper
UK

His reply arrived promptly on Monday 20th August - this is all that was said.

Yes,I am the anesthesiologist of Ma.Ana Samson Betita.She was brought to the operating room in severe pain.She was sedated and was given analgesics thru IV.Inducted under regional anesthesia at around 3:45 pm with nurse E.Caballero as surgical nurse and N.Orobia as instrument nurse.On opening up,hemoperitoneum(blood in the peritoneal cavity)more than a liter was suctioned.Operative findigs was ruptured ampulla of the Left fallopian tube.Operation ended at around 4:50 pm.Patient tolerated the procedure well..

The email from the anesthesiolgist seems professionally written and would probably serve as a confirmation to any reasonable person. You got it from the email address that you inedpendently verified. It also verified all the pertinent information, even tho you failed to receive answers to your specific requests on irrelevant stuff ("What is your relationship to Francis M. Jalbuena?").

I am going to end this now, the rest of your story just continues in the same vein. Your continued paranoia and refusal to believe any 'proofs' given to you. You appear to have talked yourself into a delusion of parnoia that you might never be able to escape from. I feel very sorry for the Filipina that was so ill-used, I feel sorry for your wife, and I really think that you should seek some professional help.

One final question tho; are you still married?