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Ex-wife’s visit at home

how can you deal with it?

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#21 saccharine

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 01:44 AM

My ex, who is a Mexican national, lives just a few miles away.  A couple of times a year she has to drop by for a signature or to have me look at her tax return, and she often brings us tamales as a courtesy.  My wife politiely offers her some of the fish she is eating, from the carcass on the table, with at least one of the eyes gone, and the ex politely refuses.  About the only edible they both have in common is "menudo," but only from a trusted restaurant, and they both tend to get sick after eating it.

 

Anyway,  it is fairly obvious to both of them that the ex does not plan and my Pinay does not want her in our house more time than it takes to finish any business for which she came.

 

An irony of this civil relationship is that my wife early on insisted that she write and mail the monthly alimony check (which goes on till one of us goes to Paradise), and I've never understood her insistence on that.  It might be because when I was late in paying one month early in our current marriage, the ex banged on our bedroom window, wanting to know where her monthly alimony was.

 

-Ray B

 

That's pretty inappropriate to bang the bedroom window,  a phone call wouldn't do the trick?, geezzz this kind of behavior will really get on one's nerves, oh well some women really behave so weird.  I have not meet my husband ex yet , but maybe when my step kids will eventually marry . From what I gather from their stories,( both my husband and the kids), the ex and  my personality are totally opposite . Even though I haven't meet her personally, I will not agree to any invitation/request to visit our house. if she has business/personal dealings with my husband or the kids then they can set it somewhere else.



#22 saccharine

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 02:14 AM

 

Its not really pretending to be deaf , just wanna make sure what the hubby is saying, cause it will come as a shock to me. And yes I would definitely say that in front of the ex, I'm just honest with my feelings that its not okay, and its already a scandal to my ears during the time hubby blurted out the invitation, so the ex should get the hint and excuse herself and run hahahahaha...That is my script hehehehe

 

OMG….you’re enough honest with your feelings that you are ready to burst out of angry in the public to anyone’s eyes :unsure: . That would really a romantic tragedy. :lol:

 

Melody our personality is pretty different so I dont expec't you to understand my standpoint, from what I can gather about you from reading your post, you are a nice person, friendly, and Im not surprise about your behavior on this matter.

 

Thanks for observing  my qualities but No..No..don’t think that I am all the way nice. I have my limitations too. I just want to treat people nice as long as they are nice to me. With ex-wife I don’t find her as a threaten yet as we develope some kind of friendship. From the time she takes advantage (other people) of me,I know how to be a devil too but I prefer to do it in an educated manner.

 

As you told my personality is pretty different than yours,you prefer to be really expressive even in a crowd if that you really mean what you told here. I may not understand that but I really get your reaction putting you in my own shoes.

 

Hey what about constantly kissing your hubby whenever the ex is around, that will surely make her uncomfortable hahahahaha, just kidding

 

Hey....if that kissing would be so constant whenever the ex is around, i think hubby could tell me " ARE YOU ON DRUGS , DO YOU HAVE A FEVER or ARE YOU PREGNANT? " :lol:  Anyway , ill try to be sweater and kisser :lol: when infront of the ex B)

 

I find you as an interesting person and I surely enjoy to exchange thoughts with you. :)

 

 

Melody , from what I remember I never misbehave in public, and seriously I could care less of the other people's opinion anyway. So let's change a bit of that script I made from my last post: At the time when the hubby uttered the invitation, I'l just give him "the look"  (meaning "are you out of your mind?") , and another thing I will change in the script is that I don't think I will be in a situation where me, my husband and the ex are eating together in a public restaurant , which really make this made up scenario of mine not applicable to your situation. I don't know your hubby's and his ex story and I don't know your story in relationship to your hubby and his ex, and I have no wish to know them, no offense meant.. And like I said we have different personalities and Im merely sharing my views and not insisting it to you, we're different individuals with different stories and so our views/opinions will be different too..



#23 melody

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 04:48 PM

 

Melody , from what I remember I never misbehave in public, and seriously I could care less of the other people's opinion anyway. So let's change a bit of that script I made from my last post: At the time when the hubby uttered the invitation, I'l just give him "the look"  (meaning "are you out of your mind?") , and another thing I will change in the script is that I don't think I will be in a situation where me, my husband and the ex are eating together in a public restaurant , which really make this made up scenario of mine not applicable to your situation. I don't know your hubby's and his ex story and I don't know your story in relationship to your hubby and his ex, and I have no wish to know them, no offense meant.. And like I said we have different personalities and Im merely sharing my views and not insisting it to you, we're different individuals with different stories and so our views/opinions will be different too..

 

Without emoticons in your script,let me believe that you reveal enough sincerity about your personality. I deeply understand that everyone of us deal my situation in a different way with their principles,personalities and what is convenient ..as everyone of us is unique.

 

Since I am publicizing my thread and for me to benefits any ideas  as to how I deal this event of my life, I would like to add additional details about the relationship of hubby, me and ex. Hubby and ex-wife never had any communication for many years (but they left each other in a friendly manner after the divorce) .Once upon a time :lol: , I & hubby met her in mom-inlaw’s house with the same purpose of us. I first knew her that time,we had a talk and as I remember I asked her just three times in the past  ,thru phone ,some medical consulations . Hubby was always exclude in my phone conversation with the ex-wife not even he said to me to send ex an “Hi”.  As I told , the death of mom-inlaw  which relatives gathered together served as the open-door for the ex-wife till we dined together and that was the invitation was offered to her. Seems that for sometimes in life we still meet each other again and again  until she becomes mentally sick to visit us. :lol:

 

This time, i would like the readers and commentors to focus on how to deal ex-wife visit at home ,either anyone like it or not :lol: ,putting yourself in my real life’s situation and no more your own personality . Am I asking the impossibile to this friendly-family forum???

 

There are things in life that I can’t figure out alone.  I know many here could think that I am fool/crazy/weird call me as you like ,I should wake-up and have a dog fight with hubby and cat fight with ex but I think that could not be a nice start considering that ex has been nice with me too.  If she is an intelligent woman,she should know where to stand now and how her visit discomfort all of us.

 

I hope,in the future, I don’t need to update this thread (no visit at all). I could change my impression about her if she thinks of coming at home.

 

Thanks for your views


Edited by melody, 16 November 2014 - 04:51 PM.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#24 melody

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 05:14 PM

 

That's pretty inappropriate to bang the bedroom window,  a phone call wouldn't do the trick?, geezzz this kind of behavior will really get on one's nerves, oh well some women really behave so weird. 

 

To bang the bedroom window without any IVITATION is really very inappropriate, what if Ray B & his wife was making love that time :lol:

 

Sincerely speaking i don't accept that kind of behaviour too, rushing in my home without asking a permission not even a phone call. My blood would really boils into 100 degree :lol: .

 

Some women really behave so weird because of ignorance (no offense). They don't realize that entering into one's home with some intent to disturb is a violation of law ..Sounds like a become a lawyer :lol: .It is because most women do not think first before taking any move,they are so expressive and can be easily annoyed etccccc


"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#25 saccharine

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 06:48 PM

 

Without emoticons in your script,let me believe that you reveal enough sincerity about your personality. I deeply understand that everyone of us deal my situation in a different way with their principles,personalities and what is convenient ..as everyone of us is unique.

 

Since I am publicizing my thread and for me to benefits any ideas  as to how I deal this event of my life, I would like to add additional details about the relationship of hubby, me and ex. Hubby and ex-wife never had any communication for many years (but they left each other in a friendly manner after the divorce) .Once upon a time :lol: , I & hubby met her in mom-inlaw’s house with the same purpose of us. I first knew her that time,we had a talk and as I remember I asked her just three times in the past  ,thru phone ,some medical consulations . Hubby was always exclude in my phone conversation with the ex-wife not even he said to me to send ex an “Hi”.  As I told , the death of mom-inlaw  which relatives gathered together served as the open-door for the ex-wife till we dined together and that was the invitation was offered to her. Seems that for sometimes in life we still meet each other again and again  until she becomes mentally sick to visit us. :lol:

 

This time, i would like the readers and commentors to focus on how to deal ex-wife visit at home ,either anyone like it or not :lol: ,putting yourself in my real life’s situation and no more your own personality . Am I asking the impossibile to this friendly-family forum???

 

There are things in life that I can’t figure out alone.  I know many here could think that I am fool/crazy/weird call me as you like ,I should wake-up and have a dog fight with hubby and cat fight with ex but I think that could not be a nice start considering that ex has been nice with me too.  If she is an intelligent woman,she should know where to stand now and how her visit discomfort all of us.

 

I hope,in the future, I don’t need to update this thread (no visit at all). I could change my impression about her if she thinks of coming at home.

 

Thanks for your views

Hey I once put a lot of emoticons in one of my response to your post and when I click post, it says that I have added a lot of emoticons than the site can allow hehehehehe, didnt know that at all..so i have to delete a lot..Anyway, I will leave you peace and quite since you have a lot going on in your plate with the visit of ex. Stay calm and compose :D ..



#26 melody

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Posted 17 November 2014 - 05:25 PM

Hey I once put a lot of emoticons in one of my response to your post and when I click post, it says that I have added a lot of emoticons than the site can allow hehehehehe, didnt know that at all..so i have to delete a lot..Anyway, I will leave you peace and quite since you have a lot going on in your plate with the visit of ex. Stay calm and compose :D ..

 

 

Oh peace please be with me so that I can live quite <_<

 

Yeah have a lot going in my plate with the visit of ex and have a lot of poison to put into it too :lol:

 

Seems that only me around the Wof have a kind of “friendship” with the ex,so no one here dare to show sympathy towards her heheheeeeeee

 

Ok I will leave you too in peace and quite hoping that these make me stay calm and compose :lol: Thank you very much ,at least you have one emoticon here :D


Edited by melody, 17 November 2014 - 05:30 PM.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 





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