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Sending My Mother Back to the Philippines

After A Quick I-130

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#1 Sonia M

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 07:10 PM

I know, I am one of those many Filipino-US-Naturalized
citizens who’s so fast to petition a parent to come to the US and was even a
LOT faster to send her back home. Yes, after 4 months and 8 days, my 76-year
old mother is flying back to the Philippines this Friday. She is just not so
cut-out for in here. Because of her age and hearing impairment, she is more
than like a 5-year old to take care of every single day. It’s just too much for
me and my husband. I thought I could handle her here while working on full-time
with my online studies. But I was dead wrong. She could never figure out how to
use flat top range, regular oven, microwave oven, or any kind of electric
kitchen appliances. With only exception of bread toaster, yes, she could use it
and burn bread too many times.  


We have to really watch her every second out of fear that
one day she might burn our house down. I have coached her a thousand times how
to use kitchen & toilet sink and hot shower water. She just could not get
the right water temperature right. It’s either she burns her skin with the
extremely hot water or freeze to death because she is using very cold water.


Oh well, I should quit feeling bad for the wrong move of
petitioning my mother. At least, I tried and thus I erred.


I would have not known it was not
a good idea if I had not tried it at all.              



 



 


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#2 denterprise

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Posted 10 April 2013 - 02:27 AM

I am sorry to hear about your experience but thank you for sharing it.  I was thinking about starting a topic on petitioning parents.  In every case I know of personally the parents didn't like it here and wanted to return to the Philippines.   Most of the cases I have read about, it was the same thing, the parents wanted to return to the PI.  I hope that those that have petitioned their parents  will share their experiences in this thread, good or bad, just to give other that are contemplating doing the same thing good information to help them make a decision that is best for them and their parents. 


God is Good all the time


Dave

#3 rbacon

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Posted 10 April 2013 - 03:10 AM

My observations have been that about 50% of older parents don't hack it here...for a lot of reasons.  Plain homesickness ranks high, followed by high expectations of how much the mother is expected to help with babysitting, cleaning and cooking, then maybe medical expense problems.

 

The best adjustments have been made by parents who are still able to work and find employment that allows them to be independent.  In urban areas, care homes seem to offer the best employment (without much pay), but they often live in and aren't required to have much training or skills.

 

--Ray B

I am sorry to hear about your experience but thank you for sharing it.  I was thinking about starting a topic on petitioning parents.  In every case I know of personally the parents didn't like it here and wanted to return to the Philippines.   Most of the cases I have read about, it was the same thing, the parents wanted to return to the PI.  I hope that those that have petitioned their parents  will share their experiences in this thread, good or bad, just to give other that are contemplating doing the same thing good information to help them make a decision that is best for them and their parents. 



#4 Ako Ay Pilipino

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Posted 10 April 2013 - 03:08 PM

Way back in the early 90s, I helped my wife do all the paperwork to get her parents to the U.S.. Fortunately they were both in their early 50s and still able to work. They worked long enough to acquire their U.S. Social Security pensions and both became U.S. citizens!
When we finally retired and moved to the Philippines, my wife’s parents also retired, but they stayed in the U.S., they have no desire to return to the Philippines, because there‘s nothing here for them to return to!   

Edited by Ako Ay Pilipino, 10 April 2013 - 03:12 PM.

"Life is what we all make it to be!" 

"It's always a matter of money!"

"Do on to others as they would do on to you, but do it first!"

"QUE SERA SERA!"


#5 JLW36

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Posted 11 April 2013 - 06:50 AM

Sorry to hear about it but at her age 76. She would really better off if she just return to the Philippines. I guess she would be more happy to be back to our country. That was hard on your part and of course more harder on her part to be very dependent on you just by using any of your small appliances.
My mom was 62 when she first travel and come to the USA, She is 68 now and working part time in the Grocery Store for 5 years now. The only thing we cannot teach her is Driving the car. We tried a little bit but she told us to leave her alone she said she can walk and since we lived in Georgia, weather was not also a problem for her. At least you did your best I know thats also hard on your part to just send her back home. She can come back for vacation anyway.

Edited by JLW36, 11 April 2013 - 06:51 AM.

My Daugther's IR2 Visa Timeline

October 03-2011-Sent the Application for I-130 Package
October 07-Received USCIS acceptance of Application by e-mail
October 12, 2011-Received Notice of Action by Mail
April 27,2012-Finally Petition is approved!
May 3,2012-Received NOA 2 in the mail
May 29,2012-NVC assigned Manila Case Number MNL2012XXXXXX
May 30,2012-Assigned myself as the Choice of Agent for (DS3032)
June 3,2012-Received and Paid AOS Bill Invoice Bill
June 7,2012-Registered as The Choice of agent
June 7,2012-Receieved and Paid Immigrant Visa Application Bill Invoice
June 10,2012-Complete/signed forms DS230, Affidavit of Support I-864, I-864A
June 26,2012-Mailed all required documents to NVC
July 11,2012-NVC Case Complete!
Aug 6 & 7 - Medical Schedule
Aug 15 - Interview Appointment @ 6:15AM
Aug 15 - Interview Approved.
Aug 23 - Visa/Packet Received
Oct 15 - Bound for PI to pick her up.
October 31, 2012 - Our(POE)Atlanta, Ga.

November 12, 2012- She got her 10 years Greencard

N-400 (U.S Citizenship)
March 08,2011-Mailed package Application for U.S Citizenship
March 17-Receipt Notice (Form I-797C)Received by E-mail
March 21-Recieved I-797C by mail
April 12-Biometrics @ 8AM
August 4-Interview @ 8:40AM. Interview & Oath taking the same day.

I-751 Petition to Remove the Conditions of Residence
June 01,2009-Submit my application (VSC)
June 12-Received NOA 1
June 19-Received Biometrics Appointment
July 08-Biometrics Schedule
Oct 25-Request for the removal of condition approved
Oct 29-Production of the new card
Nov 07-Got my 10 years Greencard

Mom's 2006 IR5





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