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My Internet Dating Experiences


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#1 enelra

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 08:08 AM

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Edited by enelra, 23 August 2011 - 07:38 PM.


#2 Thetimewillcome

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 01:43 PM

Even after those experiences, I am still on an internet dating site, not DIA, the more fool I. And there is still that little part of me hoping that this last man I am chatting with is the one I am hoping for. He may be it, he may not be it. I dont know...The sad thing however, is that after all those funny, awful, awkward, disappointing experiences, I am now starting to think that maybe I just wasted my time, and time is one resource that you can never get back or buy.


Well, it's a learning experience for you if nothing else. And you have learned enough to make better screening choices now. It is just a matter of meeting the right guy for you, and you being able to recognize that it is the right guy.:)

A good guy who is really interested in you would not see your location as a negative (well, as long as it isn't in ARMM :mellow:)


Be open, honest, and yourself, and that should attract the right guy. And you've hopefully learned enough by now to be choosy also...don't settle for less <_<

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#3 MrkGrismer

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 03:57 PM

Kind of odd, there are beaches a lot closer and a lot cheaper to get to than Cebu...

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#4 Fritz

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Posted 02 August 2011 - 01:21 AM

Kind of odd, there are beaches a lot closer and a lot cheaper to get to than Cebu...

Some of it is going to be people who have done some homework and made a decision about where in the islands they would wish to live if they retire and settle near the relatives.

For those who have done little or no research, Cebu & Boracay are probably the best known beach tourism areas.

The adventure continues
Fritz

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... and keep it!!!


#5 FlyBy

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Posted 02 August 2011 - 05:43 AM

Can you include a profile pic here perhaps? A lot of questions could be answered. Good luck.

:rolleyes:
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#6 MrkGrismer

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Posted 02 August 2011 - 12:52 PM

Some of it is going to be people who have done some homework and made a decision about where in the islands they would wish to live if they retire and settle near the relatives.

For those who have done little or no research, Cebu & Boracay are probably the best known beach tourism areas.

The adventure continues
Fritz


If they have done the research they might be looking for a place to settle away from the relatives ;) :D (lol - joke, really!) (ducks)

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#7 zoe

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Posted 02 August 2011 - 02:52 PM

Can you include a profile pic here perhaps? A lot of questions could be answered. Good luck.

:rolleyes:




You are funny FlyBy. :lol:

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#8 SeeSea

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Posted 04 August 2011 - 04:08 AM

You sound like you're a good catch Arlene. I'm sure there's plenty of nice guys online looking for a lady like you. Good luck! I think if you find the right one, no time searching would be considered a waste.


#9 enelra

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 03:15 AM

@ Seesea...Thanks...but I honestly dont even know what a "good catch" exactly means...:), most of us try our best to be good people.

#10 MrkGrismer

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 12:58 PM

@ Seesea...Thanks...but I honestly dont even know what a "good catch" exactly means...:), most of us try our best to be good people.


It is possible, but sometimes the events that lead to 'success' seem like a series of unexpected events, call it destiny or what have you. I'm not trying to 'toot my own horn' here but Cleo has summed up how it went for her in our relationship on her journal http://cleo2mark.bra...com/entry/21601 (she does not update this journal so much anymore due to facebook, but this story still makes me teary-eyed).

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Medical Exams – A caller explained that the civil surgeon who completed the medical exam used the wrong form and then wanted to charge an indigent refugee to reprocess the paperwork on the correct form. What recourse does an applicant have if this occurs?

USCIS Response: Customers should notify the Director of their local office when they have a complaint about a civil surgeon.


#11 enelra

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 02:36 PM

It is possible, but sometimes the events that lead to 'success' seem like a series of unexpected events, call it destiny or what have you. I'm not trying to 'toot my own horn' here but Cleo has summed up how it went for her in our relationship on her journal http://cleo2mark.bra...com/entry/21601 (she does not update this journal so much anymore due to facebook, but this story still makes me teary-eyed).


@MrGrismer... One can never tell how these things will go, I do understand that. And happy for you that you met someone as wonderful as your darling Cleo.... I, on the other hand, have grown a little allergic to the phrase "a good catch".... I've been called it several times, but often in conjunction with the question, "Why are you still single? You seem like a good catch..." or "What's the matter? You're a good catch..." And always conveyed in a way to make me feel like "Poor poor you..."

The two exes I have been with, they both say "I am a good catch,"...I wonder if they say that to make me feel good about myself or make them feel better. I suspect they feel guilty about what they did hahha...

But SeeSea, I know you meant what you said as an encouragement. It's just that when I saw that phrase again, I was reminded of the exes who dumped me and told me I am a good catch, just to assuage their guilt... :)

#12 James in Austin Tx

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 03:12 PM

If I may be so nosie - where did you go to school there to learn such good English?? You write better than many here from ythe states, myself included ; )

#13 Fritz

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 03:51 PM

@MrGrismer... One can never tell how these things will go, I do understand that. And happy for you that you met someone as wonderful as your darling Cleo.... I, on the other hand, have grown a little allergic to the phrase "a good catch".... I've been called it several times, but often in conjunction with the question, "Why are you still single? You seem like a good catch..." or "What's the matter? You're a good catch..." And always conveyed in a way to make me feel like "Poor poor you..."

The two exes I have been with, they both say "I am a good catch,"...I wonder if they say that to make me feel good about myself or make them feel better. I suspect they feel guilty about what they did hahha...

But SeeSea, I know you meant what you said as an encouragement. It's just that when I saw that phrase again, I was reminded of the exes who dumped me and told me I am a good catch, just to assuage their guilt... :)

"A Good Catch" is dependent on the one doing the fishing. Each person has things they will accept or not accept, things they like and dislike and they will feel comfortable or uncomfortable with various types of people.

That you are good looking, well educated & 'nice' is what prompts people to say you are a good catch (in generic terms). When you find someone who you are comfortable with and really like & he feels the same with you, then you've found your 'Good Catch'...it's always best when both partners feel the other got the better part of the deal :P

The adventure continues
Fritz

May you find what you want in life,
know it when you see it and
have the good luck to get it
... and keep it!!!


#14 enelra

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 04:09 PM

If I may be so nosie - where did you go to school there to learn such good English?? You write better than many here from ythe states, myself included ; )


Come up northern Luzon, it is said that people here are much more comfortable speaking english. You will even find a few senior citizens able to speak a few sentences of japanese.... :)

As for why I write english okay, I grew up speaking a filipinized version of english, grew up watching Sesame Street, and went to good ol' St. Louis University. Went to Holy Fam for high school, and elementary. And it's part of what I do for a living...:)

#15 Psoas10

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 06:25 PM

Come up northern Luzon, it is said that people here are much more comfortable speaking english. You will even find a few senior citizens able to speak a few sentences of japanese.... :)

As for why I write english okay, I grew up speaking a filipinized version of english, grew up watching Sesame Street, and went to good ol' St. Louis University. Went to Holy Fam for high school, and elementary. And it's part of what I do for a living...:)


I guess you speak Ilocano if you are from Northern Luzon, There is plenty of them here in Hawaii. Might be better to have family and friends set up, since they can pre-screen for idiots :D .

#16 asianstreak

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 11:37 PM

Many people who have never tried internet dating think it's easy. It's not. At least for people who are hoping for an honest decent committed relationship, it's not as easy as most people think.Some people get lucky on the first and second attempt, some make it after a few tries, and some really dont. I learned this the old-fashioned way.

I know a few friends who have tried internet dating and have met their spouses that way. From appearances, they are happy. But this was not reason enough for me to try it. I became a member of a free online dating site out of curiosity. It was fun at first, I never seriously thought that the men I would be meeting there would even be interested in me, or even really make that trip to the Philippines to come meet an ordinary average Pinay.

I met someone there though, and he seemed to be an okay guy. I fell in like with him, was attracted to him at the start, and was comfortable with him. Well, whaddoyouknow, he came and visited, and we got along okay. But the one thing that bothered me was his extreme jealousy. He would get jealous at the slightest thing. This one was a red flag. He was talking of getting married right away when that was not the first thing I was thinking. I thought we would have to get to know each other a little more before we even thought of marriage. When he started showing his jealous and possessive streak, I had visions of myself being locked up in a house in the middle of Texas, and not being allowed to go outside and mingle. Fortunately, his extreme jealousy did the relationship in, and he dumped me for a Thai woman he felt that he could trust more.

And then I met Will, the same Will I was heartbroken over last December, when I first posted a topic. Suffice it to say, it didnt end well too.

Between these two, there were several other men I have chatted with online, and never actually met. My accumulated experiences from all these has made me doubt whether I will meet someone I would be compatible with, enough to have committed relationship with, and who will be just as serious with me as I am with him, on the internet. (As to why internet dating for me, that is another topic for another time.)

But anyway, these are a few of the lessons I have learned:

1. Some men are just content to chat with women online, but are there only to pass time. They are not there for relationships. I started internet dating in 2007. Of the men I chatted with, two men come to mind: Dave and Paul. Dave, I know, is a soldier of fortune, living in Iraq. I met him sometime in 2008. Paul, is a German working in China. I started chatting with him about 2009. Both of them told me that they would come over and meet me. Then, I was chatting almost exclusively with them. They never came. I believed Dave at first, to be honest. But after the promise he made, and come the date that he said he would be here, he stopped being online. That happened with Paul too, sometime in 2009. Fortunately, I never offered to go meet them at the airport. For one, they both said they were traveled enough and old enough to know their way around the world. So I waited for them, to see if they would come. But nobody came. A few months after they dropped off the face of the earth (to me that was how it seemed because they stopped chatting with me), they suddenly appear and say hi, how are you, I missed you, and then finally, the apology. They came up with excuses why they were unable to come.

They each made several promises to really really come visit, this time. Not really believing them, I just say, okay you can come. But true to their form, they never came. I wish I had never met them, they just wasted my time.

2. The second group of men would only be interested in a Pinay if she lived near the beach or in a coastal province, preferably in Cebu, or near Boracay. If I tell them that I live in the mountains up north of Luzon and that I live 4 hours away from the nearest beach, that there are no planes coming into the City, and that it mostly rains there, they lose interest. Take for instance this one guy I gave my ym to sometime ago:

ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:54:53 AM) : r u stll on dateinasia?
arl45156(07/20/2011 4:55:07 AM) : no..not anymore
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:55:24 AM) : oh why , u found ur man?
arl45156(07/20/2011 4:55:59 AM) : haha...no...it's because i couldnt find anyone decent there...so i stopped that foolishness
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:56:07 AM) : ohhh
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:56:10 AM) : so where do u look now
arl45156(07/20/2011 4:56:19 AM) : nowhere
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:56:57 AM) : ohhh
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:57:00 AM) : r u happy
arl45156(07/20/2011 4:57:15 AM) : i always was....
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:57:21 AM) : goood
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:57:26 AM) : do u live in cebu
arl45156(07/20/2011 4:57:29 AM) : no
arl45156(07/20/2011 4:58:37 AM) : that may be one reason i couldnt find one to "lure" hahaha...i don't live near any damn beach...sometimes, i think women are just the side dish...the beach and sun are the main entrees...
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:58:56 AM) : oh is that what happens
arl45156(07/20/2011 4:59:19 AM) : yes...look at you...you asked me if i live in cebu
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:59:27 AM) : oh yes hahah
ruggedradish(07/20/2011 4:59:35 AM) : well its normal to wan tto go on holiday to nice place
arl45156(07/20/2011 5:00:17 AM) : i understand...so men who are looking for a nice holiday arent really interested in anything more than holiday fun

This guy messages me from out of the blue, and asks me if I live in Cebu. I said no. After my last reply, he didnt say anything. I guess he was just looking for a tourist guide in Cebu. lol

3. And then there are men who think that just because I live in the Philippines, that I must be ignorant, or unfortunate, or must not be able to speak english well. Someone even told me that he would have me banned because I am an american guy, pretending to be a woman on a dating site. According to him, no filipina can speak or write in english well, so since I write well, I must not be a filipina but someone pretending to be one!

4. Many are pervs. On video chat, they will ask you to stand, turn around, lean forward, lean back, show them my toes. These ones, I block the first time they ask these sort of questions, for obvious reasons.

Even after those experiences, I am still on an internet dating site, not DIA, the more fool I. And there is still that little part of me hoping that this last man I am chatting with is the one I am hoping for. He may be it, he may not be it. I dont know...The sad thing however, is that after all those funny, awful, awkward, disappointing experiences, I am now starting to think that maybe I just wasted my time, and time is one resource that you can never get back or buy.


All I can say is "At least you try ..." .See sometimes finding partner in life is a blessing or probably as most of us would say " FATE".You are one of the few who tried their best looking around and waiting for the right man.But only GOD alone knows when he will be coming in your life.Let say I am an example of those people who are lucky to meet my man on the right time.I never looked on any dating website,I never expect that I would ended marrying an american man.I never dreamed and I never wished and most of all I never SEARCH...But he just came like a tief in the night and stole my heart.I never knew what are those dating website are not until I started chatting my man then later on while every afternoon was waiting for him to appear on line curiousity came to me and asked what are those dating website my fellow sitmate in the cafe are visiting.BTW.I met my man in yahoo chat out of fun during those time I dont know how to use YM chatroom infact the man in the internet cafe showed me how to use the yahoo chatBy those time .I never had any contact or friends list in my ym but things happened unexpectedly .And now t here I am happily married.I used to travel half of the world meeting strangers on the plane when I was single and was a widow making a living outside Philippines.I've meet different nationality on my venture but never would I expect out of 6 years travelling the man that is willing to marry me is behind on that screen.I wish I know the future otherwise I wont struggle myself in middle east.I wish I know whats GOD PLAN FOR ME otherwise I wont sacrifice in KSA.Yes I am from CEBU but I dont think it matters for him where I live,the important is he found the best catch for him.And I never think he would be a big catch for me?But as time goes on I realized he is the one and when we met I just feel the spark.We talk different stuff tho,yes I talked about nasty things on the internet..I mean to be honest I want to make sure that this 50 yr.old guy is capable of doing things that can make a wife happy.It should be part of the package.But if he asked you to streap off your clothes then that is a big "P" right there.THank god my man was not like that...but he asked me to send him sexy pictures....and so I said SO WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ITS JUST A PICTURE????!!!.

Here in Austin TX, I knew 3 people who met their spouses on line.Well to correct that 1 is still looking tho..but those 2 that I mentioned they are both american women and they met their spouses in the dating website.The only 1 I am talking about that is excluded is a filipina nurse she dated american men through internet.Just like you she is hoping to find the right man.She is very much qualified she came from Manila,lived in Makati used to worked in Makati Medical Center and was able to come and worked here in Seton and transferred in St.David hospital where I worked at.She had flown to another city just to meet her chatmate,but unfortunately she did not able to find the right man.Well,I would say she is NOT looking for financial securance since shes been RN for 10 years here in TX and infact is a american citizen.And definitely I would say she is a good catch and dont need any financial support from a man.But just like you I guess the right man has'nt arrive yet.

I know lots of filipina back in my town,that are still looking for a foreigner husband.Infact I started to get tired talking to this people because they asked me to find them a husband.GEESH i AM NOT A MATCH MAKER.Some of them started chatting since 2001 and they said they are getting tired chatting online and they want me to find them a man,I told them to keep on looking and dont loose hope and pray....so just pray and maybe God will send you your soul mate.

Edited by asianstreak, 09 August 2011 - 11:40 PM.


#17 John C

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Posted 10 August 2011 - 04:35 AM

Can you include a profile pic here perhaps? A lot of questions could be answered. Good luck.

:rolleyes:




Yes always remember to be strikingly beautiful in order to have your dreams come true. If you forget to do this you will have much of your time waste pre web cam. And try not to have baggage like we do too. It's a deal breaker most of the time in a double standard kind of way. Not real fair but that's just life.

JC





#18 enelra

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Posted 10 August 2011 - 07:43 AM

Yes always remember to be strikingly beautiful in order to have your dreams come true. If you forget to do this you will have much of your time waste pre web cam. And try not to have baggage like we do too. It's a deal breaker most of the time in a double standard kind of way. Not real fair but that's just life.

JC


Okay, noted. Whiny, not strikingly beautiful women with their own opinions will have little chance of meeting their prince charming. Will keep that in mind.

#19 zzzlpr

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Posted 10 August 2011 - 01:09 PM

Okay, noted. Whiny, not strikingly beautiful women with their own opinions will have little chance of meeting their prince charming. Will keep that in mind.


I think you are not used to John's style of posting.
He can correct me if I am wrong, but I suspect that his sarcasm was not directed to you.

Cheers,

Carlos
"A man does not know how alive he can be until a sweet Pinay steals his heart."
my point of view


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#20 Thetimewillcome

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Posted 10 August 2011 - 01:36 PM

As for internet dating, as much as we'd like to think we are increasing the odds in finding the "right one" by using a dating site, I think it is more of a personal "Black Swan Event" when it happens.

October 2010- Met online
October 28, 2010-Officially a couple
Feb 26, 2011- Met at NAIA
Feb 28, 2011- Proposed in Bali
Sept 1, 2011- Second trip to the Philippines
Feb 11, 2012- Third trip to the Philippines
July 9, 2012- Final divorce judgement
Aug 10, 2012- Sent I-129F
Aug 14 2012- NOA 1

April 19 2013-NOA 2
Aug 5 Sputum negative, finished medical

Aug 7 Embassy interview passed

Aug 31 Visa delivered.

 

The US government agencies that process visa applications suck stinky a$$.


‎"A wise man should consider health is the greatest blessing, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses" -Hippocrates





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