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#21 Keith Johnson

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Posted 23 October 2012 - 10:47 PM

:angry:
IMHO it is not the money. His disabled adult son will get Social Security too.
I think the man has some other issues that he is too embarrassed to admit to.
One thing that crosses my mind is a prison record that took away his passport.

:unsure:

#22 rbacon

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 12:18 AM

Keith,

Prison records don't normally "take away" passport or have lifetime bans against travelling abroad. While being adjudicated by a court, however, accused felons are routinely asked to surrender passports to the court. In addition, while on probation or parole, a judge's permission is often a requirement before being allowed to travel abroad.

On the other hand, there are various conditions which would keep one from applying for or renewing passports: child support arrearages over a threshold amount ($5,000), that has reached a Federal child support database.

--Ray B

:angry:
IMHO it is not the money. His disabled adult son will get Social Security too.
I think the man has some other issues that he is too embarrassed to admit to.
One thing that crosses my mind is a prison record that took away his passport.

:unsure:



#23 denterprise

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 12:27 AM

:angry:
IMHO it is not the money. His disabled adult son will get Social Security too.
I think the man has some other issues that he is too embarrassed to admit to.
One thing that crosses my mind is a prison record that took away his passport.

:unsure:


I have to agree with the above statement that it is not the money. A motivated healthy man would find a way within two years. I don't know what his issues are but they don't have to be yours. You have to ask yourself do you really want to start a life with a man you have never met that is taking care of his adult son? Will you and his son get along?

If there are money issues, that in itself will bring stress into a relationship. Be upfront with him and say you don't believe this relationship is going anywhere and you want to find someone that will do what it takes to have a real relationship with you. If he wants to remain friends fine but if not, you have to move on.
God is Good all the time


Dave

#24 MrkGrismer

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 01:06 AM

Children/people on disability should get medicare coverage,


Only if:

http://www.ssa.gov/d...an/dqualify.htm

To qualify for Social Security disability benefits, you must first have worked in jobs covered by Social Security.


If the son had the condition from childhood into adulthood he may never have worked.

Note also that if the son never worked and paid SS taxes he also cannot receive his own SS at all, which is probably why the father is getting so much per month.

Edited by MrkGrismer, 24 October 2012 - 01:09 AM.

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#25 melody

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 09:38 AM

Stay put until you meet someone who can afford a wife. Learn and don't make that mistake again.

JC


Is that sooo costly to afford a wife? :lol: .. poor one who is planning to have a wife,better men learn and ever never don't make this mistake again :lol: :P

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#26 melody

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 09:49 AM

hi guys...i am newbie here....

i am so thankful i bumped this site through google...it really helps me alot...to all the moderators job well done...

anyway,i am here to ask about my situation...about long distance relationship...i am chatting this guy for almost two years...i met him through a common friend...we chat everyday through skype and yahoo...but i am so tormented this past few days coz i am now asking him when will he visit me but he always say when he can save money...coz money is his problem rightnow...that he needs to pay bills and he cannot get here right now,he said it always takes time to save money..i am so much in grief right now coz i learn to love him but he always have so many reasons why he can't get here...last month he said he gonna be here by March..but this morning he said he is not sure anymore coz he needs to save more...

thanks for bearing with me guys...


Sounds like your situation is similar to that of my friend..really. My friend always asked him when he visit Phil. but the man had many excuses. Two years passed finally the man decided to meet him,stayed at her home for 1 month and there they planned to get married with the promise of the man to be back after two months....My friends was so excited that she told all the news and 2 moths passed i asked her where is the marriage..... Thanks God she was able to knew on time that the man is already married to a filipina woman not recently but 3 years marriage :blink: . How could this man did it ? :blink: Craziness.

Now charmel ask him what he is looking for and why he keeps on chatting with you or maybe with another girls.

Edited by melody, 24 October 2012 - 11:40 AM.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#27 W. Thomas

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 12:04 PM

Just my 2 cents on this. I make 60k and get a stipend tax free 12k ... I m STILL finding it hard to save up everything I need for this... so 4k per month would make it very hard for me.


Bll

#28 Mr. Lee

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:47 PM

Just my 2 cents on this. I make 60k and get a stipend tax free 12k ... I m STILL finding it hard to save up everything I need for this... so 4k per month would make it very hard for me.


Bll


I am sure it depends on where a person lives. You are working, so have the back and forth expenses as well as clothing, meals etc related to working, so that might cost you more to live and where you live might be more expensive than where we live.

If the guys 48k a year is from ss, then it is probably tax free and that also would make a big difference.

In Florida I know of a number of people living on much less than 48k a year but they too are retired, so costs are lower than when working. One couple I know lives on less than half of that but they do own their own home, so no rents but they do pay homeowners insurance and upkeep which would probably equal a small rent. I also know we can live on less than 48k a year and live in both the Philippines and Florida and pay our airfare back and forth but we own our own places, yet I still have some payments.

Whatever the case, if the guy wanted to see her enough, then he should have found a way to save. I think we can almost all look at what we spend money on and find items we can do without or find items to replace them that cost less.

Retired, happily married since 94 & live part time in Cebu City and the rest of the time in Florida, USA.


#29 charmel

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 03:52 PM

I am sure it depends on where a person lives. You are working, so have the back and forth expenses as well as clothing, meals etc related to working, so that might cost you more to live and where you live might be more expensive than where we live.

If the guys 48k a year is from ss, then it is probably tax free and that also would make a big difference.

In Florida I know of a number of people living on much less than 48k a year but they too are retired, so costs are lower than when working. One couple I know lives on less than half of that but they do own their own home, so no rents but they do pay homeowners insurance and upkeep which would probably equal a small rent. I also know we can live on less than 48k a year and live in both the Philippines and Florida and pay our airfare back and forth but we own our own places, yet I still have some payments.

Whatever the case, if the guy wanted to see her enough, then he should have found a way to save. I think we can almost all look at what we spend money on and find items we can do without or find items to replace them that cost less.



hi every0ne...thanks for accommodating me here with my concern of my man...well,Mr. Lee he is living in washington state...he is near in Oregon...about 1 or 2 hrs drive if i am not mistaken...and he owns his home...he have 2 cars and a truck..one of which is a sports car.. :angry: if he really wants to see me,i know he can..but he just keep on saying it takes time and needs savings...i already told him that 3k is enough to travel here(excluded with the airline ticket??)he tell me he can save it for 6-7 months..

well,i guess he is not interested to meet me as of yet..but i am not planning to wait for him...i am now figuring things out between us and possibly just move on and think of diverting my life without him...

Edited by charmel, 24 October 2012 - 03:54 PM.


#30 Mr. Lee

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Posted 24 October 2012 - 04:46 PM

hi every0ne...thanks for accommodating me here with my concern of my man...well,Mr. Lee he is living in washington state...he is near in Oregon...about 1 or 2 hrs drive if i am not mistaken...and he owns his home...he have 2 cars and a truck..one of which is a sports car.. :angry: if he really wants to see me,i know he can..but he just keep on saying it takes time and needs savings...i already told him that 3k is enough to travel here(excluded with the airline ticket??)he tell me he can save it for 6-7 months..

well,i guess he is not interested to meet me as of yet..but i am not planning to wait for him...i am now figuring things out between us and possibly just move on and think of diverting my life without him...



Many men have the best intentions but for some reason are too lazy to travel to the other end of the world or are so used to getting things their own way that they figure there must be a way to bring you to him, instead of him having to travel to you. I have read that same scenario over and over on forums and it seems some manage to get a tourist visa, but many Filipinos cannot.

God has a plan for us all and we have to accept what he tosses at us, so possibly he was doing you a favor with that man by always tossing expenses in his way so he could not afford the trip, or he is just making excuses and chatting with you was just wishful thinking and a fantasy on his part. Whatever the case, it is good to read the above written by you.

There are many unknowns in relationships, so I hope you find someone deserving of your love and patience.

Retired, happily married since 94 & live part time in Cebu City and the rest of the time in Florida, USA.


#31 JoeinMI

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Posted 25 October 2012 - 01:13 AM

Ive followed this series of posts now and, thinking back,I had chatted with another filapina for several months but never saw myself actually spending that much money to go visit someone so far away. I grew up in a 'practical' household. With two kids from a previous marriage, spending a couple thousand dollars to visit somone I'd never met before was more of a dream than actual possibility. The woman I chatted with was really nice but I never let it be romantic since we were so far apart. Finally, she introduced me to her best friend's little sister and we started with e mail, then chat and ocassional phone calls.

Im not sure what actually motivated me to 'take the chance'. Perhaps I was looking for an adventure. Maybe I was tired of being alone failing to find a relationship with anyone here that felt real. Could also be I was tired of being a cheapskate and decided life is too short not to take some chances to find the right person.

Im reading about this guy, trying not to be too judgemental, and I wonder if I was thought about in the way everyone (including myself) summarizes this situation. I think there are a lot of us here who had to find their own time to throw caution to the wind, and take action to make our lives more complete - at any cost.

My own opinion runs in agreement to most others here that its most likely not going to be a happy ending, but somehow I felt compelled to share my thoughts. The woman I first chatted with got tired of waiting and moved on by introducing me to someone else. I later met her when I took my trip to meet the woman she'd introduced me to and she was a wonderful woman (and Im sure a great catch). Sherry is that second woman. I choose to believe that God works in mysterious ways! Good luck Charmel.

JoeinMI

Edited by JoeinMI, 25 October 2012 - 01:41 AM.


#32 zzzlpr

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Posted 25 October 2012 - 04:49 AM

hi every0ne...thanks for accommodating me here with my concern of my man...well,Mr. Lee he is living in washington state...he is near in Oregon...about 1 or 2 hrs drive if i am not mistaken...and he owns his home...he have 2 cars and a truck..one of which is a sports car.. :angry: if he really wants to see me,i know he can..but he just keep on saying it takes time and needs savings...i already told him that 3k is enough to travel here(excluded with the airline ticket??)he tell me he can save it for 6-7 months..

well,i guess he is not interested to meet me as of yet..but i am not planning to wait for him...i am now figuring things out between us and possibly just move on and think of diverting my life without him...


As I suspected there is more to it. If he really wants to see you he can sell one of the cars.
Not to mention that 48K a year is a pretty decent income.

BTW, $3k is total, including ticket. The break down is $1.4K for the ticket and $1.6K for hotel/food/local transportation, etc.

I would not hold my breath.

Wishing you the best,

Carlos
"A man does not know how alive he can be until a sweet Pinay steals his heart."
my point of view


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#33 HAWK

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Posted 25 October 2012 - 05:14 AM

Great job of staying within the rules John and Carl lol I like it lol

#34 charmel

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Posted 17 September 2013 - 01:55 PM

yes!after almost a year i  posted this topic!i decided to just hold my breath and waited for him ...!finally,the wait is over!tomorrow we gonna see each other after knowing him for almost 3 years!we talked since January 2011!and tomorrow is going to be our first meeting!wheeww!  :wub:



#35 Mr. Lee

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Posted 17 September 2013 - 05:11 PM

yes!after almost a year i  posted this topic!i decided to just hold my breath and waited for him ...!finally,the wait is over!tomorrow we gonna see each other after knowing him for almost 3 years!we talked since January 2011!and tomorrow is going to be our first meeting!wheeww!  :wub:

The best of luck, hope it all works out great for you both. 


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#36 James in Austin Tx

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Posted 17 September 2013 - 07:35 PM

Conrgrats, get to know each other as well as you can in the short time, eyes wide open and take notes.. Good Luck, God Bless!!






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