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Fighting over Our Son


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#1 mark78

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Posted 04 October 2015 - 02:57 AM

My wife is unhappy here on Guam and has told me she wants to go back to the Philippines with her daughter and our son, several times.  I told her she can go but not with our son (Matt), he is just over 2 yrs old.  I think the Philippines is a very dirt place, and I do not want Matt (ourson) exposed to that environment there, and also I fear my wife will not come back to Guam if she goes home with the children.

 Just wondering if I have the right to say this to her? 

 

 



#2 MrkGrismer

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Posted 05 October 2015 - 12:27 PM

There is no real 'right' to say it, and if she were to decided to do it on her own it would be very difficult for you to go after her legally-speaking. It may be wise for you to try to work out some type of situation where she goes to the Philippines for 3-6 months every year, with the children (maybe during summer break). It would also be advantages for the children to be in touch with their culture.

 

As far as 'dirtiness' goes, it kind of depends on the area. The cities certainly have air quality problems with all of the diesel jeepneys and 2-cycle motorcycles. There are also clean water and septic issues in some places. But there are ways to compensate for the water issues, depending on funding and location.

 

More importantly it would probably be wise to find out why she is unhappy on Guam. Frequently it is a lack of friends and family. I am not sure how many Filipinas are there on Guam, but if she has not already made friends there perhaps the two of you should seek some out. Also make sure that she can stay in touch with her family, via Facebook, Skype or whatever.


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#3 mark78

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Posted 05 October 2015 - 10:47 PM

She has two filipinos that she met here on the Navy Base, I have asked her to call them and invite over to our place many times, but she won't do it. I know she missed her family in the Philippines, but if I allow here to go back with the children  for 2 weeks or 3 months she won't come back.  And her parents mostly willl pressure here to stay there, since they like our son Matthew.  I told her she should go back during christmas break with her duaghter, but she won't unless Matt is with here, so its starts again.  She wants me to return to the Phippines to live,but its such a hassel to live there vice here  on Guam.  All of us got sick from the dirty air there.  She can't leave by herself, I have Matts passports.  She wants to go back in June for 30 days, but I still fear she won't return and if I were to go with her and the kids, if she deceids to say there, what can I do...nothing.  I told her to go during x-mas break,  and easter break but she won't unless Matt is with her, and I won't let Matt go.



#4 MrkGrismer

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Posted 06 October 2015 - 12:33 PM

If you go with her you have a better chance. Are the children U.S. Citizens? Do they have both U.S. and Philippine passports?

Is she having difficulty with having two children and just the two of you taking care of them? Is she looking for help from her family? What is it about the Philippines that makes her prefer that over Guam? These are questions you can ask her and maybe it will help understand. Maybe it would help if you threw a large dinner party for all of the Filipinas that she knows, with Lechon and all that.

I know Guam is not far from the Philippines and so it is easier to go visit and the climate is similar. Of course, different people adapt differently to different places. I don't know, off hand, how long the two of you have been together, and I know living 'on base' can be a bit different for some people. She may not feel that she has been able to make your place 'a home'.

 

Mostly I can only speculate tho.


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#5 melody

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Posted 12 October 2015 - 04:59 PM

 I don't know, off hand, how long the two of you have been together, and I know living 'on base' can be a bit different for some people. She may not feel that she has been able to make your place 'a home'.

 

Mostly I can only speculate tho.

 

I have the same thought as Sir Mark.

 

Moving from places to another is not so comfortable nor easy for any woman now that you have children to raise too. Perhaps she is not really on the idea to live in Guam as you and her met,married and lived in another place before (i'm just supposing).


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#6 sweetjulie

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Posted 14 October 2015 - 12:24 AM

Maybe if  you have vacation time you can go with your wife and the kids, you know its nice if you all go together nothing to worry.






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