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#1 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 02:24 AM

[b]His name is Jim and he's from Wichita,Kansas,I met him 16 months ago.

Who would have thought that old school pen-pal writing, exchanging letters every single day , brought us together?

Back in the day, Its been some time since i broke up with my ex; the professional tension we had together is far greater than i can ever imagine that our family started to deteriorate. Working together was a dream come true for some and not everyone would ever put a cosmetic touch on something that is no longer there. The pressure tendered so as the patience and the time with our two children, then i decided its all over.

Starting over again is a pace less anticipated because the future is bleak. Here i am again, repeating what my father and mother done in the past; the only remedy is to move on and make use of what's left in you: my dignity and my strong faith that things will work out for me and my two children. I worked as hard as i can and gradually i was on track again and seems Life's been peachy since. No expectations to fall in love, don't give any high hopes to date

Last February 2011,I came across a Pen Pal site. I was meaning to write someone and share some common interests, no intention of finding a soulmate. I put up my profile, requesting that i like friends and no people should ask charity from me. A week later, after having received messages from Algiers and other countries i don't know where it is. A 48 year old American wrote me a message :

Dear Veruca

Oh great, so how does one properly introduce themselves in writing to a
professional writer? Hmmm, probably a good start would be to ensure no spelling or grammatical errors. I think

I can do at least that much.
So, you request no weird stuff, that is reasonable, quite frankly I have experienced a couple of rather bald offers here, didn't enjoy that much, kind of creepy when someone you hardly know makes that kind of an offer. I think I can agree to that condition. I've never heard of anyone accomplishing anything worthwhile by sending
unclothed photos. I think I can agree to that as well. Finally money. I am comfortable thank you, I promise I will never ask you for any money, that is unless we are having coffee and I forget my wallet. OK, let me rephrase that, I won't ask you for money
online ever or otherwise unless it is a trivial amount due to unforesee circumstances like the aforementioned.These things being said, I would like to hear from you, or your dog. Dogs like me, I carry bacon in my pockets. Hmm, now that I think about it maybe that's why my slacks look so bad. Oh well, I hope you have a good day and that it only rains when you are indoors. Unless you like being out in the rain.

Jim


I replied to him:


Hi How are you?


Regarding the requests i wanted, i got that idea from a guy who told me i should be wary of people who would do such things. So i simply wrote things i don't want. Thanks for pointing this out to me, i honestly don't like to be introduced in those things since its very superficial
and would make my time unworthy to that point. I'm glad that you've said
hi, likewise i say HI to you too! How are you?

I'm relatively new on this site, a friend of mine had this fairytale thing going on with penpals,they end up together in the end. Some story huh? not like i want that to lead something like that. Hmm i sometimes think about it, for the moment i just want to get to know someone who has the same thing going as me : which is meet new friends.My name is Veruca, i'm 33 and i live in Manila. I write articles on the paper, mostly lifestyle, diet and dogs. My friends say i have a positive disposition. I think i am, i'm intuitive, spontaneous and can talk anything under the sun. I like going to the beach a lot, i always have a tan, i like to snorkel. what else i'm carefree and fun.I'm a pisces, i don't eat beef.

What are you like, Jim?

Edited by verucasalt, 30 June 2012 - 02:33 AM.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#2 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 02:42 AM

February 2011

Dear Veruca,

Now what should I say?I am quite well, thank you for asking.

Please pardon me if I don't make too much sense today, I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I'm considering getting an IV feed of coffee to see if I can make it until lunch time.

I do not think anyone ever needs to ask forgiveness for being honest, especially in matters like these. I am glad that you tell me what your intent is, mine is the same.

As for being honest, I must confess to you that I have a strange sense of humor. If you hear me say something that you think is strange, please give me the "benefit of the doubt" and ask me what I mean.
Considering how well you speak English I don't think we'll have much trouble there but it would be tragic to let a cultural gap cause difficulties.

Intuitive are you? That is good. My profession (IT) requires logic but I find that intuitive ability gets a lot of things done efficiently. I try to use both facilities. I love spontaneity, like waking up in the middle of the night and going for a walk, but I also love deliberate, planned things. I think if we
talk some day we will both end up with sore throats from talking non-stop for 18 hours.

If you looked up Kansas on a map, you can see that I don't get to spend much time at the beach. :) I envy your country's beautiful beaches very much. Although I am sure you would never admit it, I know that you envy the endless wheat fields we have here. It is OK, I understand. Just ask me and I will send you pictures.

When I was a teenager my friends and I used to ride our bicycles a couple of miles to a small artificial lake that had been dug to supply a concrete plant with sand. When the lake became too deep, they
simply moved their operation to an adjacent piece of land and started a new lake. We would bring masks, snorkels, and fins and spend the entire day swimming, making noise and generally acting like young
idiots. My hair was almost white from all of the sun and my skin didn't look like that of someone of German-Irish descent.

Do not be self-critical of your conversational style of writing, I am not your English teacher. :) I find it charming. I don't follow astrology too much but I do know that I am a Sagittarius and by
the Chinese zodiac I am a tiger. I guess either one of them makes me a hunter of some sort. But if I can count you among my friends then I think that makes me a successful hunter.

I will remember your dietary preference, if we find ourselves at McDonald's for lunch someday, I will make sure to not order you a doublecheese burger.

What is Jim like you ask? Hmm, I'll try to tell you a few things you you couldn't infer from his profile.

I am proud but try to be modest. I trust people but I'm not naive. I am very protective of those that I care about - like a dog in that respect. I enjoy watching the classic cartoons, Bugs Bunny and Road Runner. I was a soldier once, and in some ways will always be. I love children. I prefer to work through problems with reason and consideration. I do not want to be controlled or to control anyone.

Again please pardon me if I don't sound too organised today, I should be in better shape soon.

Hope to hear from you soon. If you prefer to email, my address is:___________________


Dear Jim,



Thank you for your lovely letter. Yes i do admire the wheatfields, i see some of it in books and its very fascinating. I feel like i want to throw myself in them and just watch the birds flying towards
somewhere. I'd love to see Kansas one day, i hope someday you'll come see the Philippines too, i must say, this country has a lot to celebrate for every month and never ran out of food on the table and endless
dancing in the streets. Oh i forgot to mention, will you send me some pictures then? of the wheatfields? that would be nice.

I grew up in the city. I have two elder siblings from my mom's first marriage and my little brother and i by her second. My father died 16 years ago and it was a difficult time for me since i was in school
and i was studying very far away from Manila. I took up journalism in a university in Baguio city, its the summer capital of the Philippines. I lived in a small apartment then and have to save my allowance for
electricity and gas. I was lonely then and quite relieved when i'm done with school, i have no relatives,only a few friends but they have their families with them. My mom's province is in La Union it's up north
of luzon, an hour away from Baguio city. Our ancestral home is quite near the beach. When i was a kid, i go to the beach, catching small crabs in their tiny sand houses and play with the bubbles curdling while
the waves were slipping away from the draft. You can hear the tide rushing in and collapsing atop to each other, there were stories about people who were taken by "mermaids" while swimming and their relatives
won't find their bodies anywhere.

You know what, i dated someone who's also a soldier and also one who's a marine stationed in Okinawa. Somehow the distance gets me and that i was younger then. I was also busy at work at that time.
Sometimes i think about what's it like to be with either of them if ever we got married. Maybe there are better things for me.

Have you been to Asia? where? and tell me what's it like growing up in Kansas.

sincerely yours,

Veruca.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#3 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 02:54 AM

February 2011
Dear Veruca,

Sometimes I think that your country is like one from storybooks,
beautiful places, lots of happy people, many celebrations, strong
families. I know that there are some problems there but there are
many good things also.

You caught me by surprise, I was making a joke about the wheat fields,
they are not tall enough yet to make a good picture but I will take some
when the wheat is longer. :)

When I was a child, many of my friends played baseball and football, but
my hobby was history. I read every book in the school library
about WWII, and many of the books in the large public library. I
was fascinated by the battles in the Pacific, at one point I could have
told someone about all of the major campaigns of the war, significant
events of each campaign, and most of the sea battles as well. I
especially like to read about the people of the places that we were, the
people of the islands and China. Most of that has faded from my
memory but I still have a fascination for the area.

Our family situations are similar in some ways. When I was about 7
years old, my mother left my biological father because of his drinking
problem. She married a very good man who adopted me and my sister
as if we were his blood children, to this day when I say "my father" I
am talking about him. He had three sons that I call my
brothers. It was a very difficult time, we were very poor but as a
child you do not care about these things. I knew my parents loved
me and my brothers slowly grew to accept me as their own. I look
back on those times with happy memories.

Many years ago, I bought a new car and decided to take a long vacation
with it. I packed some clothes, filled up the gas tank, and drove
south to spend some time in Corpus Christi Texas on the beach. I
spent the night in Dallas with an aunt who lived there, and the next day
I drove to Houston to see NASA. All boys want to be an astronaut
when they are small, I enjoyed seeing this a lot. After spending
most of the day there I headed south to the beach. I arrived at
about 2AM, checked in to a hotel, and asked for directions to the
beach. I drove there, took off my shoes and walked along in the
sand, listening to the waves. It was just like in the movies, the
roar of the waves, seeing the tide lines, something I will never
forget. I went back to the hotel and slept and then the next
morning I went back to the beach. In the light of day, it was not
such a nice place. There had been some oil spilled and when you
dig into the sand it was nasty. Also the water was not clear at
all, I could not see my hand in front of my face. In the end it
was still a nice vacation, I did a lot of sight seeing and got a great
tan.

I've been to Canada and Mexico, Mexico has the beautiful beaches that I
had hoped to see in Texas, but I've never been away from the
continent. I would love to visit your country some day, I used to
date a girl who had lived there for several years with her family while
her father was in the Air Force. Her mother had learned how to
make lumpia, I don't miss the girl but I do miss the lumpia!

Growing up in Kansas, hmm, some good points, some not so good. I
spent a lot of time riding bicycles with my friends, we used to go out
at night and make mischief, we would knock on the doors of houses and
then run away and hide. We would giggle when someone opens the
door and looks around but does not see us. Sometimes we would ride
the bus to the shopping mall and waste time there. On occasion we
would go hunting, we rarely shot at any animals, we would mostly shoot
at targets and then lay under a tree in the shade hiding from the heat
of the day. I started working at age 13, I would mow the lawns of
people that didn't like to do that and then I got a job at a restaurant
washing dishes and cleaning tables. Later I worked at a department
store, that was a fun job for a young guy.

I enjoy reading your letters and hope to hear from you soon.

Jim


---------------------

Dear Jim,

Thank you for replying back, i'm looking forward for your letter
everytime i turn on my computer. How are you doing today? In Manila the
weather is indifferent, hot in the morning,cold and sudden rain at
night. Yes the country is going through some difficult times, the
corruption, the people who don't have jobs, it's the same as last year. I
hope the President would trust on his own instincts than rely on
his numerous advisers.

We are indeed similar,although i'm not close to my siblings, our
characters are extreme. My older sister and i are so not alike, other
than our looks, i can say that i'm nicer. My sister chooses the people
she's nice with. Everytime we see each other, there's always a tension,
it somehow binds us together, waiting to explode, i'm carefree, she's
self-righteous. Recently we had an argument, and i decided not to talk
to her for awhile since she drains my energy out. My half brother and my
younger brother are okay, we don't see each other as often like before.
My mom lives 30 minutes from my house and i get to see her on sundays.
She's 62 but looks 20 years younger. She's into yoga.

You mentioned lumpia, i can cook it anyway you like it. We also
have another delicacy called " lechon", its pig covered with herbs and
spices then roasted under burning coal till it turns red in color and
the skin of the pig will be crunchy and juicy. I think there are
filipino restaurants in america that serves that dish, if you are in
one, ask if they have that dish. I hope you'll have the chance to visit,
its very nice country, amidst the talks of kidnapping. Honestly there's
one place in the philippines where in kidnappings are notorious.
And that's quite far ,very far from manila. Some of my friends are
wary spending their vacation in the Philippines but i assure them as
long as they someone from here, they'd avoid getting into places like
that.

How is your mom? is she in Kansas too?

I also like reading your letters, you're a good writer yourself.

sincerely

Veruca

Edited by verucasalt, 30 June 2012 - 03:00 AM.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#4 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 03:12 AM

Dear Veruca,

I must admit that I am excited when I receive your letters as well.Last night I slept very well and feel "charged up" today. I had been running short on sleep but now I think I am ready to run a marathon.

I do not know much about your current President, I hope that he is a good man. There was a show on TV about the one that was in power during the 80s, from what I've seen his name should not be mentioned in polite company. I remember seeing that his wife had thousands of pairs of shoes, every shape and color imaginable. It is sad, but so often the leaders of a country do not really represent the people of that nation. From the crazy things that the president of Iran says, you would think that his country wanted nothing more than to fight wars with everyone yet the people I have met from there are as polite and good hearted as anyone I've ever met. The people who want power, the ones who fight their way to the top, they are probably the
least suitable to be there. A good president surrounded by bad advisors will probably not be able to accomplish much good, but it is my hope that he will do a good job.

Given a choice, I think I would trade my sister for your sister. My sister was in a business partnership with two of my brothers. She was in charge of the office and the finances, she was spending company money for her own personal use - cheating them out of part of their share. She also did some things to get one of them in
trouble. Finally my brothers got together and threw her out, she sneaked back into the office at night and trashed the computer system to hide what she had done. I had remained separate from this venture
but when they told me what she had done I went in and repaired the computers so that they could continue to operate.
Be thankful that your sister does nothing worse than argue with you, I am sure that she loves you too much to ever try to really hurt you.

I am glad that your mother is alive and well and healthy enough to do yoga. My parents live in Florida (south-east part of the US). They have a lovely home in a place called Ft. Myers
Beach. I love to visit with them. They also keep a home here so that they can come back to stay around the family. About a month ago my father had been feeling bad, my mother thought that it was
just his age but then one day he noticed blood in his urine and felt a terrible pain in his side. The doctor diagnosed cancer in his kidney and they had it removed a couple of weeks ago. They said
that it did not spread, but it was probably the reason he had not been feeling well for some time. He is now feeling better than he has in a couple of years, I am so glad that he will live longer.

There is a PI grocery store near where I work, they have a sign that says they serve lunch, perhaps I will go there and and ask of they have lechon, sounds delicious! They will probably wonder how I know about this food, I will just say "Veruca recommended it."

I would be glad to take you up on your generous offer to make lumpia. When I come to visit I will look forward to dining with you. The special dish I make is "buffalo chicken wings". They are chicken wings that are deep fried and then coated with different sauces like red-hot or barbecue sauce and then baked in the
oven until they are crisp. You make me some lumpia when I am there and I will make you some chicken wings and Mexican food when you come here.

You mentioned in that it was hot in the day and cold and rainy at night,a couple of weeks ago it was actually -20C here. How is that for cold? It was so cold that when I go outside to go to work, my nose
hurts when I breathe in. I open my mouth to breathe that way but it makes my throat hurt. If you come to visit, I recommend spring or summer, the heat will not be any worse than what you are used to.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Jim


-------------------------------------------------
Dear Jim,

I'd love to see you. If we still get in touch in a year or so, i'd be heading to Los Angeles quite soon. I'd love to see you and Mexican food are my favorite, absolutely! I've tasted buffalo wings before but
they're not spicy enough, i have this thing with the hot spicy foods, i simply have to eat one AT LEAST twice a month.

I'm glad your Dad is a lot better. And the more he'd live longer to see his grandchildren grow up. I envy you because he's there with you, my dad was my inspiration when i was in school, he was a single dad to me
and my brother and we grown up okay, hassle free good kids.

Oh the story about your sister is very interesting. You can imagine what people would do for personal gain. They would do a lot of crazy things, i mean considering that you know its wrong and these people would do such
relentlessly. I wonder what your sister is up to this time. I think your brothers suffered a loss, a big one, i hope they're okay now. If its like another employee who had done all that, that would be another
story.

Just yesterday i learned my cousin Jojie, had a heart attack. I rushed to the hospital to see her and she's okay now. I'm no longer surprised that she's 40 and had suffered that. In my family we have a strain of
hypertension and worse case of heart attacks. Years ago after my father's death, i decided to become a vegetarian. I noticed then a lot of my cousins died from a heartailment and that made me worry. I wonder
what could have caused such but it would take me a long time for research. Jojie is fine and has to be strong for her kids. When i saw her i told her no more eating fried food and pork. I'll visit her again
later this afternoon.

I like to give you a filipino lesson. I want you to do this too. If you like, you can share me a custom or something so i can learn more about Kansas or anything :)

We usually call our elder brothers or sisters with a name before their real name as a sign of respect, like the japanese would say "san" at the end of the name of their guest or friend. If its a man who's older, we
call him " Kuya" ( cuyah) and "ate" ( aahteh) for women. its customary we say this out of respect and kindness, like from now on i will call you Kuya Jim. Now its your turn.

We don't say "Mabuhay"( Welcome!) when we have guests coming in our house. I only hear the word Mabuhay when i come home from abroad,when the guards and some people would say it to the tourists.

I love to hear from you again Kuya Jim, is it okay if i call you Kuya Jim or just plain Jim?

And if ever you go to the PI store, you can call the storeowner "Kuya" too or "ate". it doesnt matter if you don't know the first name.

Sincerely yours

Veruca.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#5 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 03:22 AM

Dear Veruca,

You like hot food? I love hot food! I eat things that are so hot they will burn a hole in the bowl. For my dinner tonight I made noodles, but before I put in the noodles I add a lot of red pepper like the kind some people put on pizza, then when the water boils I add the noodles. The peppers boiling in the water will make you cry if you are near it but the noodles taste so good! The chicken wings I make are made with red pepper sauce, if you like it hot, I promise you that you will love them.

My sister escaped punishment because if they give the evidence of her crimes to the police and she were arrested, my mother would have a breakdown and that would be terrible for dad. I will always be
grateful for their forbearance, not for my sister's sake but for my parents.

My theory on heart disease is not in agreement with much of mainstream medicine. A doctor that I respect wrote a book on the subject of food and health, his premise was that simple carbohydrates are the worst
thing a person can consume. The basis of his opinion was that since sugars cause the bacteria that make plaque on your teeth to grow, they are also responsible for the plague in your veins that is the source of congestive heart failure. I certainly agree with the premise that hypertension is dangerous; a good friend of mine died last year as the result of too many years of hypertension. I control my blood pressure by controlling my weight and getting exercise. I'm addicted to working out, if I skip a couple of days, I feel terrible.

You may teach me about any subject that you find of interest. I collect information from many bodies of knowledge. So I am to be Kuya Jim now? That is fine, you are welcome to address me in any manner that you would like. I would also like to know what is the appropriate form of address for a young lady?

I have read that there are many dialects spoken there. You are obviously conversant in English, and I would guess Tagalog as well, how many other dialects do you speak?

What follows is a diatribe on various manners that you will encounter here, maybe skip to the last paragraph if these things are the same where you live.

In this area it is typical to call an older woman "ma'am", which is a contraction of "Madame" or add her marital status to the front of her name, for example "Missus Smith, my name is Veruca and I am pleased to
meet you". "Pardon me ma'am, can you tell me where I would find Main street?"

Unmarried woman are formally addressed as "miss", but most young women do not expect to be addressed formally in most situations.

Older gentlemen often prefer to be called "sir". For example, "Pardon me Sir? Could you please tell me the time?" If you want to address an older man whose name you know formally you could say "It is good to see you again Mister Smith".

If you ever call me mister or sir, you will hurt my feelings.

If you approach a door at the same time as a man, most men will want to open the door for you. A small smile and nod of the head is the appropriate acknowledgment for this. If you ride in a car with a gentleman, do not be surprised if he opens your door, waits for you to be seated, and then closes the door after checking that your dress will not be caught in the door when it closes.

When you enter a room, if the men there are well mannered they will rise to their feet and greet you. If you are comfortable with handshakes, you may extend your hand to be shaken but men will not be
insulted if you do not do this. A proper handshake is firm; do not hold someone's hand as if it were a dead fish, three shakes and then release.

Customs here are pretty much the same coast-to-coast, people in the middle of the country and in the south part tend to practice better manners than what you will likely see in LA, but these things should
hold true there to some degree.

I have every intention of communicating with you for the next year. You are intelligent and friendly, two things that I appreciate. What brings you to LA? Do you have family there or will this be a professional trip? If you would like to meet me there then I will most certainly go there. I am not very familiar
with the area but I have been driving a car for most of my life and will help you get to where you need to go. I would not want to see you on public transit there; I am told that many of the people who use that
are not the nicest people you would meet.

Sincerely yours,

Jim

Edited by verucasalt, 30 June 2012 - 03:23 AM.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#6 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 03:29 AM

The letters continue till the 14th of March of 2011, That was my 34th Birthday, the first time i heard his voice on my cellphone, hearing him greet me a Happy Birthday.

I have no intention to bore the readers. These are letters that we wrote each other through time. A very short time before we actually spoke to each other on the phone and 500 letters later.

The letters i post on this thread are the ones when we were just starting to get to know each other.

In Tagalog, " Commercial break lang po tayo, baka masuya po kayo sa kakabasa".

To Be Continued.... :rolleyes:

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#7 rolf

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 05:54 AM

Thanks for sharing, loved reading them, it feels like reading a book love story. Keep em coming.

#8 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 12:26 PM

Thanks for sharing, loved reading them, it feels like reading a book love story. Keep em coming.


Thanks Rolf :) okay let me post some more :)

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#9 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 12:42 PM

Kuya Jim

I'd like to call you that because i'm quite fond of you,not that you're older than me (although a former date is much older than you) but i think you never aged a bit over 25. Yes, you seem 25 to me because you're fun and easy to talk to. I hope you won't mind.

What you wrote about hypertension is very interesting, i'm hoping i wouldn't suffer the same premise like my cousin, my mom always reminds me to watch what i eat. Just like you, i go to the gym and run the threadmill. I also have a personal trainer who wanted me to get nice firm arms and legs, i don't know if i'd get there because i like to eat icecream once a week. My favorite is chocolate chip. And sometimes rocky
road. We do eat rice here a lot! like a kilo of rice a day, i lessen it because it makes me very sleepy.

My relatives are from Glendale, California and L.A., i haven't seen them in years, my mom would be staying in Maryland soon and that i would accompany her on her trip. Honestly the farthest thing the plane would take me is just all around Asia, i haven't been to the U.S.. I'm looking forward in seeing you real soon. How far is Kansas from L.A.? oh if it would take a plane to go to Kansas, that's okay. I bet its a long long way from Kansas to L.A. You really don't have to drive that far.
I'm serious of seeing the wheatfields! Yes sir!

Just like you, i'm from a mixed ancestry. Mine is chinese, French and spanish. and filipino. From my mother's, My great grandparents from my lolo's side ( lolo means grandfather in filipino) were french missionaries when they came to the Philippines at the turn of the century. On my Lola's, ( lola for grandmother) were chinese
immigrants who stayed at the northern part of the Philippines who were
Tobacco farmers.

I only know tagalog and English, i don'tknow how to speak "ilocano" a dialect in which my mom and her sisters speak fluently.

My favorite color is orange, and you? I'm 5 foot 4 and a half.

sincerely yours

inah


-------------------------------------------------

Hello Veruca

"Howdy" is a greeting that many people in this area use. I think it originated in Texas.

I am deeply complimented that you think I have the mentality of a 25 y/o, I try very hard to not become ossified in my thinking, in my profession it is a fatal mistake to think that because you are on the top of your game today that without study and flexibility you will remain there. I also refuse to adopt an air of phony dignity, if I see something that I like, I will not ignore it out of fear that someone will think that I am not acting properly. That is not to say that I act childishly, just that I try to be true to myself.

White rice is delicious but I try to stick with brown rice instead, the carbohydrates in it are more complex and they don't cause my blood sugar to spike and crash. I am not diabetic but I don't want to be either. I haven't deliberately consumed a sugar sweetened beverage in ten years.

Ice cream? OK, now that is a sin I couldn't live without. I don't indulge very often but when I do I make up for lost time. Have you ever had ice cream cake? They make some of those here that are hard to describe they are so good. One of my favorites
has chocolate ice cream in the center, with a layer of vanilla covering that. There is also some crushed Oreo cookies between the layers, utterly delicious.

I'm glad you've got family in CA, if you are with them then I will not worry about some of the bad elements of society there bothering you. I was just concerned about you being in a strange town and having to find your way around there on your own. Probably silly of me since you live in a huge city already, but that is my
nature. I would be thrilled to be your host for a visit to Kansas. Depending on the time of year you visit, the wheat fields may not be very impressive, usually the stalks grow long by about May but it is harvested in July or August at the latest. At the least I will send you many pictures.

My family includes many farmers but not many missionaries. Among my mother's family there is Jesse James of the James Gang, they were train and bank robbers back in the late 1800s. My biological father's family includes the "Dalton Gang", another unsavory lot. Maybe that explains why I was a troublesome child. :)


It would be quite pompous of me to be critical of you for speaking only two languages considering that I only speak one. There are a lot of Spanish speaking Mexicans who live here now, but it is typical of Americans to expect people to learn English. Whether this is right or wrong, the practical effect is that it allows all of us to
communicate pretty well with each other.

Are you familiar with what we call "the melting pot?" Some people advocate multi-culturalism where a person's native culture is accommodated while they live here - it is expected that every person will know how to accommodate the culture of everyone else. The melting pot is the notion that if you want to be a part of the US, you
are welcome to add your beliefs and culture to the mosaic of ours, but you are also expected to accept at least part of our culture as your own. My belief is that a more homogeneous culture allows for greater harmony between people, what are your thoughts on this?

I'm not a great deal taller than you, I'm about 5'7". If you wear high heels then we will be about the same height I think. Colors mean things to me, blue is coolness and calm, yellow is bright and cheerful, red is warm and passionate. The secondary colors
combine these attributes, so to me orange is passionate, bright and cheerful. I think I could have guessed that for you, it fits you very well. Hmmm, my eyes are green, my slacks are khaki, my shirt is often light blue at work but I love my red Polo shirts when I am not at work, I think that red is my color.

Tell me a thing about you that I could not guess from your profile or what you have written to me. I'm not asking for something private necessarily, just something that would be a surprise to me. In my case, I do calligraphy. I'm not very talented at it but it is calming and enjoyable.

Sincerely Yours,

Jim

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#10 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 12:52 PM

Hello Veruca,

I am sorry that I was not able to respond to you earlier, your clock is 14 hours later than mine, you caught me while I was preparing for work. I usually go in at around 7AM and get off at 5PM. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I attend my class the the university and am usually off by 6PM.

You make me blush with your kind description, those are the things that I try to be, sometimes I am more successful than others but then life is a journey, sometimes one will take the wrong path but should aspire to take the high road.

When you are here, I think we would have a very pleasant time going for walks around the area. If you would like to go for a run, I'd enjoy doing that with you also.

Being called dear by one such as you makes me smile, you are a dear lady yourself.

Jim



------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Jim,

I hope you're doing okay and well and school is okay. How's it like to be back in
school after so many years? your instructors are okay? how do you study? and do you like writing notes? A lot of people i know use their laptops for school. You know every time i write, i have a draft, i write everything down before sending them to you. I'm a big note-taker. But that's not the answer to your question, about something extraordinary about me. Oh i always wanted to do calligraphy myself!

I'm really scared of spiders, the huge ones that lives in the dark corners of the house, makes me shriek a lot, i was bitten by a spider when i was small so that explains it. I like building remote control planes from scratch and fly them on weekends. I've been a weekend flyer for 10 years now, the last plane i flew was a yellow cessna. I like offroad driving too, i'm a member of an organization in
Manila where they go places and drive up mountains and terrains. I have a vegetable patch in my backyard. I like carrots,tomatoes and okra.
I live in an old house, i don't have anyone with me except my dogs and my
maid. My neighbors are superstitious and that they tell me i shouldn't live in this house because there are ghosts.

Underneath my bed there's an underground thing,I don't what it is, its like a small chamber. its like a 5 feet deep and the old folk used to put their guns and money in it. It has a lock too. I told my neighbors that i sleep on top of it and they get goosebumps.

What else? i was engaged twice. I have brown eyes, and look younger than my age, i don't smoke because i'm allergic, i drink anything except beer, my hair has always been short because i like it neat. hmm i don't know what else i can say..oh that i graduate highschool when i was very young.
I like an intelligent honest man who calls their parents, who has a integrity. My father told me i should find someone who's like that and that i can never go wrong.

Love,

Veruca

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#11 Martin D

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 02:30 PM

Great letters. I am also enjoying the reading. It is a great story.

#12 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 04:42 PM

Great letters. I am also enjoying the reading. It is a great story.


Thanks Martin D :) i'm posting more :)

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#13 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 04:50 PM

Dear Veruca,

You are such a delight! I think you are the only lady I have ever met that builds and flies RC aircraft. That is something I've always wanted to do every since I was a child. When I was 16 years old as part of my high school education I was able to take ground school for a pilot's license. After I completed the ground school I took flying lessons and enjoyed that very much. I will remember my first solo flight for the rest of my life, after the instructor had me practice landing many times, he told me "bring the airplane to a complete stop". I did this, he opens his door and tells me "keep doing what we've been doing until I wave at you" and gets out of the
airplane. I was very frightened but thrilled at the same time to be able to fly by myself. It was a very expensive hobby but I will never regret spending the money.

I must admit that I am having a troubling though, you almost seem "too good to be true", such a delightful personality with such a broad range of interests, I am sure your friends are always being surprised by you.

Being back in school is like putting on an old comfortable pair of shoes for me. The students are about the same, the instructor is from India, Dr. Raj. He is a very serious acting man but we share a mutual respect. In class the other night he asked a question while writing on the chalk board that seemed to require a yes or no
answer - he was trying to trick the inexperienced students but I answered "maybe" he turned his head to the side and smiled for maybe 1/10 of a second and then said "we will start with the simple case first". All this man really seems to want is to be treated with the respect due to a person with his advanced education, I have no
problem giving him that. In class some of the students who like to project an air of brilliance do not bother to take notes, perhaps they have a recorder in their pocket but I do not feel any shame in taking detailed notes. I then transcribe them onto my computer, the act of doing these things helps me to remember the material better. I
could use a notebook at school but I do not because it is difficult to emulate what is done on a chalkboard when the instructor writes vertically or draws braces around some things. Usually he writes everything important so I have plenty of time to write it by hand.

I try to maintain a good relationship with the faculty at my school as I am considering pursuing a doctorate if I do well in the masters program. The faculty's recommendations will carry a lot of weight in the admission process.

All terrain driving, that is fun. When I was in the army we drove the classic Jeep vehicles like they show in the old movies, they were little mountain goats. We would go up hills so steep that it scared me. They sure were fun to drive.

For myself, I don't smoke unless I am on fire, I hope that you would let me know if you see flames on me. I used to drink beer but it is so high in calories that I drink a dash of vodka in soda or juice instead. I read and understood most of the "CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics" when I was 9 years old but was hyperactive in
school and not able to skip grades like I should have. I didn't get the hyperactivity under control until I was in my 30s.

I believe that the best relationships are based on mutual respect, not just the rush of feeling that one feels from a first kiss. I believe that shared values and goals in life are essential, that difficulties should strengthen bonds rather than dissolve them. I believe that meanness has absolutely no place in a healthy relationship,
that wanting someone who cares for you to suffer is a sickness of the mind. Anyone who has experience in life knows that at times mistakes are made, misunderstandings happen, feelings are hurt, if there is real honesty and respect in a relationship then these things become merely bumps in the road rather than dead ends.

It is difficult for me to discuss this, but I think you deserve to know. Last year after more than twenty years of marriage my ex-wife decided that she wanted to spend the rest of her life without me.

This should not have been such a surprise for me, her mother was married and divorced 12 (I'm not making that up) times. I was a faithful and loving husband to her, and a good father to our two grown children. When she told me about her decision, I made every effort to try and convince her not to do that but she is not someone who will
be thwarted in her desires.

I am certain that some day she will regret her decision but after so many years of abuse I feel that I deserve a chance to be with someone who doesn't just want to see me being sad.

I await your next mail with great anticipation.

Yours Sincerely,

Jim

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#14 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 05:10 PM

Dear Jim

I'll also be honest with you, other than being lactose intolerant ( ice cream in general is lactose free in my book!), i have a 8 year old son. His name is Simon. His father was dating me and some girl when we were together, when i learned about it, i was already pregnant with Simon. It was unforgivable. We had a talk and that he wanted me to marry me for my son but i said no, that he will never see him. I heard from a friend that he denied my son and been telling that i'm "sleeping" around. (
typical filipino macho trait which disgusts me) It didn't matter, i raised my son on my own with the help of my mom. She dotes him to bits. It's hard to raise a son alone and i do my very best to be a good mom and dad for him.

I have yet to tell you everything my dear, i've gone through a lot back in the day and it was much even painful than what Simon's Dad had done to me. Its like a Dickensian novel, in the end the main character remained strong and wins in the end amidst all atrocities.
But i just moved on. I just have to. There's so many things in store for us
tomorrow.

Your story about your exwife made me wonder why she would do such a thing.You're a wonderful, sweet guy. I don't like to say something bad about her as i write to
you, you've heard a lot of that from friends. You deserve to be happy
my dear, I know! everyone deserves a second chance. Imagine all the trouble
raising kids and work, you deserve it! you deserve to be happy and
in love and more! I deserve it too. You just have to know soon enough

Veruca


---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Veruca,

There are some people that I have met that are very very smart, but they are not able to apply themselves to doing anything useful and have miserable lives. There are some people of limited ability that put forth extraordinary effort and accomplish great things. I think you have the best of both, intelligence and the will to apply it.
You have done good things with your life, raised a son, I am sure that Simon is a fine boy, learned how to build cool things (I'm still impressed that you do RC :), built a good career for yourself. You should have few regrets about how you've lived your life.

There is something that people here do that you might find interesting, there is a small desert in the state south of here (Oklahoma) that people take different vehicles to and drive on the sand dunes. Some people ride "dune buggys", small cars made of metal pipe with very wide tires, they are very fun. My brother has one of these, perhaps if you are here when it is not too cold we could see about going
there and having some fun.

Some people want to live in the past, remembering their happier days, some people live only in the present, never planning for the future. Then there are the dreamers who only look at the future. I think you have a healthy attitude, enjoy today, look
forward to tomorrow. I think we have the same adrenaline addiction, I love the feeling of "completely alive" that I get when I am doing something crazy and fun.

Have you ever gone target shooting? I would love to teach you how to do that, it is so much fun to blast away at targets, feeling the sense of accomplishment when
you do well. And yes, it is an adrenaline rush too. :)

It is such a shame that Travis' father treated you so badly, he doesn't realize what he has lost. Not only a fine son but a beautiful and intelligent woman as well. I'm sure you would have been a wonderful wife to him if only he had been faithful to you. But like all of our trials in life, we can either grow from them or be broken by them, clearly you have grown. One of my favorite sayings is "the hottest fire produces the purest steel".

Perhaps I am crazy but I am willing to believe everything you tell me. I know there are plenty of reasons to not trust people you meet in the internet, but you seem to have such a warm soul that I can't help but trust you. That is not easy for me but I'd never forgive myself for passing by someone as wonderful as you.

My ex wife and I worked together at a place where I had a Christmas job to make some extra money for presents for my family. She was a pretty woman and I was lonely so I overlooked her abusive nature and dated her. After a few months she became pregnant, she wanted to live without me but I convinced her to get married and have the baby. We fought constantly but I thought that we would be able to make things better after some time had passed, I was wrong. The one important thing we had in common was that we were both determined to be good parents, both of our children turned out well, I will always be glad for that. When our daughter graduated high school, I think she decided to plan a life without me, when she had saved some money and got some cosmetic surgery that she wanted, she went to an attorney and filed for divorce. I don't need to say anything bad about her, I know that in time she will pay for what she has done, if not in this life then certainly afterward.

I think of things that I want to say to you, but I hesitate. Not out of fear, but because when I say these things, they mean something, I never say them for effect. I am not in love with any other woman (other than my mother and daughter :), but I do want the love of a good woman for myself. I know that you want this too. Let's continue to enjoy each others writing and when you come to visit (or maybe if I get to go there, that is a dream for me) then we can decide where out lives should go. I think we hope for the same thing.

I would love to see a picture of your son and you, please post or send me one if you have time.

Sincerely Yours,

Jim

Edited by verucasalt, 30 June 2012 - 05:11 PM.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#15 verucasalt

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 05:31 PM

Dear Jim.

I understand you completely and i'm flattered that you've open up to me. Honestly i don't think i should go over the trouble telling lies to people on the internet, either they like me or not, thats okay by me. It's tiring and stressful. If i were younger, Yeah maybe i would say i've gone to the moon or i'm related to Bill Clinton. I know it's hard to trust somebody on the internet but sometimes we have to trust our instincts. You're the only guy i've been looking forward in writing everyday. You're adorable, i have to admit. I don't know what assurance i can tell you, Jim dear, Funny life sure is sweet! we've gone this far and we've only known each other through letters for just a short time? wow i mean WOW! I'l treasure this for the rest of my life!

You know what, i'd love to drive a dune buggy over sand hills! i'd love that a lot! and i haven't seen them first hand, even here in the Philippines, they only drive toyotas and some suzuki 4x4s. That would be very nice! i'd love that a lot! say i've been saying a lot of times! sorry i got excited again. hehehe its a trait in the Philippines called " Makulit" ,we tend to get excited , childlike over something. It's an endearing trait.

I've never tried target shooting, will you teach me? i'm terrified of guns, sorry. I'll give it a try! no sweat, just as long you're there and i'm 10 blocks away from you.

I forgave my ex a long time ago, not that i need to tell him that. It's just that how my son turned out, if it weren't for my son, i'd be speeding to a downward spiral, He came just in time. He's turning 9 on the 3rd of Jume, i get sentimental a lot.

Jim, do you really want to go here? i don't think its a good time even sooner or soonest. I'm not happy about a lot of things here, very bad things ( serious crimes among other things) . I think of going to L.A. would be great, because it's much cleaner and that i'll be able to see you and we can go on a date :) i like to try a real big banana float.

I have 3 questions for you and i want you to answer this :)

1. What are 5 things that you cannot leave at home when you go out?

2. What kind of books do you read? science fiction? true crime? Authors?

3. The great invention ever made, what is it?

I want you to answer this as intelligently as you can and i'll grade it accordingly :) just teasing.

AND what type of girl do you like?

Love,

Veruca

PS. i'll be sending you a picture of me and Simon soon on email.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Veruca,

People that like cats are usually not the kind of people that I like. A cat is there because you feed him and maybe because he likes it if you scratch him behind the ears. If you don't feed him or maybe don't worship him the way he wants, he will stay somewhere else if someone gives him what he wants. The people that love cats more than dogs, I think they do not appreciate loyalty and devotion.

Veruca, if you are not sincere, you will have ripped my heart out and stepped on it. I pray to God that you are how you say you are. I can stand the thought of being on a battlefield, I would jump from an airplane or climb a mountain, but the thought of risking my heart, that scares me more than these other things. My children are adults, but they need me almost as much as Simon needs you. I would never intentionally hurt someone that had someone that depended on them like that, I hope that you are the same way.

If you like a big banana split, I know a place where they will give you such a large and delicious one that you will swear off eating sweets for the rest of your life!

It makes me sad to hear that it is not safe to travel to Manila, I have thought about how nice it would be to be on the beaches, try the foods, meet the people. It is like that here in some places, I hope you never go to Washington DC unless me and my old friends from the Army are with us. Hopefully some day things will be be better there.

If you can, please give me some idea of when you think you'll be in the States, I'll find out if we can go visit the dunes, I think we'll have a great time.

One things about me, is that I prefer to share enjoyment rather than to just do my thing with someone there to watch. I had my first rifle when I was 8 years old. I know that you would probably be terrified of your son having that, but it was how my family raised us. To me, guns are like shoes are to women. :) Maybe some day if you spend some time here and feel like it I would be glad to teach you how to shoot, but if you are terrified, it will be difficult for you to learn how to do this safely, if nothing else I want you to be safe and happy. I'm sure we will have a lot of fun doing other things.

I am so glad that you can be excited like you are still a girl, I hope that is how you always are. Sometimes the people at my office laugh when I see something that interests me, they will say "Oh no! We will get no work out of Jim because he is excited about something!"

You don't ask simple questions, that is good, I enjoy intellect and I think you have a fine one. OK, here are my answers for you.

Now when I go running, all I take is just my house key and music player, so when I leave the house I don't always take five things unless you count my shoes, socks, underwear, shorts and shirt.

When I go to out normally, I take my Motorola Droid phone, wallet, keys,watch, and comb, I like to travel light. When I fly somewhere I only take one or two pairs of slacks, underware, and shirts.

Getting on a jet is about the most exciting thing I can think of, I am like a dog in a car, if I had a tail it would be wagging.

You pegged me on reading! Yes, I read science fiction, true crime,and adventure. I used to read a lot of history but lately I mostly read stuff for work and my textbook from college. My favorite authors are Jerry Pournelle, L.E. Modesitt, Jr., and Tom
Clancy. What do you like to read?

Ha! You ask a person who makes his living with information technology what he thinks is the greatest invention ever? Oh my, do you have a few days for the answer? Probably that would have to be the light bulb. It is something that we all use every day, it takes away fear and darkness, it allows us to live our lives when we want, it gives us more time to live. Yes, I know there were candles before the light bulb, but the light allows us to travel safely at night, it helps protect us from those who would do bad things to us, I do not think that there is any one thing that has benefited us more than that. But defiantly the other best invention will be the
airplane that brings you to me.

I think my children will be OK with anyone who makes their father happy. They did not like the way their mother treated me. I think they hope in their heart that we will be back together but I realized just a few weeks after I had to move away from my home, I missed my children and I missed my home, but I didn't miss my ex.

If you were to become married some day, let's just say to a hypothetical American gentleman, would you want to live here or live there?

And like you, I don't have a love somewhere. I am not a player, I want one person to have all of my heart and I want all of theirs.

The kind of girl that I want is someone who is passionate but reasonable
- someone who has strong feelings but isn't ruled just be emotion. Someone who likes to try new things but is comfortable with the familiar, who doesn't insist that everything change every day. Someone who will appreciate that I am a provider but who will not be overly materialistic. The girl I want will enjoy going out and having a good time but will be happy at home just sitting down and reading or watching a show with me. Someone who wants to do things together but has her own life and interests as well. Someone who is faithful and values that in her man. Perhaps even someone who
would like to have a child with me.

Does that sound like a long list? Does it sound like too much? I hope that those are the kind of things that my future bride will have.

Veruca, I have only one thing that I ask of you. If you ever decide that you have found your true love and that person is not me, or if you just decide that you don't think there is any future with me, please just tell me. I will be disappointed and sad, but not nearly as much so as if you just make me wonder where I stand. I promise
that I will be honest with you in that way also.

I await your next letter with great anticipation.

Love,

Jim


PS: Actually, J________ at your service my good lady, but you are welcome to call me Kuya Jim------

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#16 rolf

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 05:27 AM

I'm getting really hooked on your love story, it's my read before bedtime. Please do share more. I remember the long emails, text messages, and snail mail love letters from my then fiance. :D Love love love.

#17 verucasalt

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 12:18 PM

I'm getting really hooked on your love story, it's my read before bedtime. Please do share more. I remember the long emails, text messages, and snail mail love letters from my then fiance. :D Love love love.


Thank you Rolf for your vote of confidence, of course i won't fail you, and thank you readers for reading..I will slowly reveal who we really are, i will post pictures of us in the future, for now..the letters will suffice at the moment

Let me remind you again that my Fiance is a 49 year old blonde man from Kansas and i am 35 years old from Manila.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#18 verucasalt

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 12:57 PM

Hello Kuya Jim!

Reading your letter makes me laugh and smile at the same time. I wish we had already met, you and i click in a lot of ways, no to sound too presumptuous. I like to answer your query from the bottom up. The last one is very interesting and it made me think a lot.

If ever i decide that you, Jim, are not my true love and if i decide that there's no future for both of us, I will tell you right away. I'd like to tell you that i haven't experienced falling in love in my whole life. I may have assumed that
Simon' father and i were in love but i was only 24 and i think maybe because i was lonely and i don't know any better at that time. I want to say this to you, that i always be honest and true to you no matter what, i know its weird , i mean this is the internet! but i know in my heart that i somehow feel strongly about you. More than a Kuya. I may not be a good judge of character but i think you're a wonderful guy and you deserved to be happy.

Let me get this straight, Jim, i don't need a green card and that i'm comfortable living in Manila, but if ever i do fell in love with an american or european, regardless race,, Yes! i will live with him, i'll take care of him, That is if i felt that he's the one for me.

to be continued..i'll eat my dinner, i'll be back in 10 minutes

Love

J_______________.


A Few minutes later...
Hi Jim,
just got back from my dinner :) You have quite a list of what you like for your future bride. I hope she'd take very good of you too. I pray that she's not spoiled rotten :)that would be hard, you got grown up kids and now you're taking care of
one too. I hope She's just be somewhere out of America, probably has short hair too :) oh wait a minute I HAVE short hair, i'm just teasing.

The kind of man i want to spend the rest of my life with is someone who respects me, who would accept my past, who's not over protective of me ,who would learn to love my son too. I hope he likes Karaoke, i'll challenge him to sing any Hall and Oates song. He should be smart, who likes to try new things, who doesn't nag, who would like to try a filipino dish from time to time. let me see, did i get to say everything? He likes dogs as much as i do. And Yes, i don't like cats and i have a lot of stray cats living in my back yard. He has to be patient and sincere. My actions show more than my way with words. I'm a one man woman.

If i do have a boyfriend,i'd completely adore him. If i would be your future bride to be..would you let me have as many books as i want?i'm a passionate reader and i don't like shopping, at least the essentials) and the Mall. I go to the mall, go to the
bookstore, browse some selections ,buy one and go home.

It would take sometime i think for them to accept if you are going to get married, i hope they would accept your bride,I know they wanted for you to be happy, how long since you got divorced if you wont mind me asking.

What if she wants to back, ( i hope not, i'll feel crushed) what will you do?

I read a lot of true crime, classic novels and history too, i've read one Tom Clancy book, the hunt for red october. I completed the whole selection of Tom Clancys' until the flood came to and washed my poor books away, completely destroyed :(

When i leave home, Jim, i always have a backpack, my mp3 player, my cellphone, my moleskine and pen. I wear glasses kuya Jim, i developed an eyestrain when i'm on the computer. In my mom's family, everyone wears glasses. I don't like wearing them but it beats the headaches. When i travel, i always bring a lot of liquid soap with me, i like to take a bath a lot. It's a filipino trait, we love taking a bath probably 2 times a day and one at night. I always bring a pants, a short, a lot of shirts with me.

Oh my, is it okay if i try the rifle once? :) the reason why i'm afraid of guns is because the Policemen here are reckless and gun crazy when they get drunk, they keep shooting bullets up in the air and not knowing someone would get hurt. My mom's neighbor was killed by some bullet that went through her house from nowhere. My son would be delighted to learn how to shoot using a rifle, i'd just be somewhere maybe a bit far from where you two are standing.

You're right about your kids depend on you as much as Simon depends on me, and that i would like to be very much be a good rolemodel for him. I never introduced my dates to Travis because he might think something bad about me, I want to introduce to him the man i'm serious with, with a serious relationship with.

You pronounce my nickname as ____, but my relatives call me ______, my
mom said it supposed to be my name but they prefer Veruca instead, they
say its some sturdy wood used to building sailboats. My younger brother
name is Max and he works in Singapore as a programmer. He's also not
married.

Regarding my trip to America, i think my trip would be earlier than i thought, my mom just called yesterday telling me my aunt is already stage four for lung cancer and undergoing treatment,we have to plan our trip very carefully. Hopefully by May we'd be going, i'll let you know, dear, when absolutely!

let's take things in stride and love will abide :)

How was your day in school?

love

Veruca

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Hello Veruca

At this point I'm pretty sure that my future bride will have short hair,I think Simon would easily recognise her too. As far as her being spoiled, well, I'm afraid that comes with me. I will spoil her with attention, spoil her with love, spoil her with devotion.

Do you think that would ruin a good girl? I am a protector, but I will be your shield but not your shadow, you can stand behind me if you are fearful but I will not try to force you to be there.

I think I told you before, mutual respect is the only basis for a relationship that will last. If you want to know how I know this, it is because I was in a relationship were I was treated with contempt for too many years, that is poison to friendship, poison to love.

Let's get this out of the way now, what is it that you worry about me accepting? Yes, I know that you became pregnant with Simon when you were not married; I was in the same situation with my oldest child, that is not a problem for me. If you have had a couple of lovers since then, that is not a problem either, why should a lovely young lady be denied affection? Tell me what you are worried about, I can either accept it and have you or not accept it and lose the possibility of having you. As long as you plan to share your heart and your bed with just me, I can't see what the problem would be.

I am not worried about accepting your son, my father is actually my step-father, he accepted me and I know that I can learn to love a child that will accept me as his father. I like to do lots of things that boys like, shooting guns, swimming, riding bicycles, playing video games, laughing and playing rough. Many years ago I was an Army "Drill Sergeant", I trained many young men to become soldiers. I am loving but I am as firm as a rock, boys who are teenagers need this as they learn to assert their independence and become young men.

If your son is like you, then I am confident we will be "thick as thieves". Before long you will probably be saying "Simon! You and Jim are driving me crazy! Go play outside!". It is good that you don't introduce boyfriends to Travis, young boys can bond quickly with men and there is no need to break his heart by letting him
become attached to someone who might not be there. I know that you will be serious about me if you introduce me to him, so I really want to meet him.

Since we are talking about children, let me tell you a bit about my son Daniel. When he was still inside of his mother, when he was about 3 months along she started to bleed. This lasted for about a month. When he was born, he looked perfect and beautiful but he did not want to breathe so they put him on oxygen for a while until he started to breathe on his own. As he got older, we noticed some developmental problems with him. I spent several hours a night for almost a year teaching him how to read, but now he reads a lot and enjoys it. Daniel is 20 years old, he still attends a special school but will graduate this spring. He loves to play on the computer, loves to watch trains, and loves to draw pictures. He lives with his mother but we spend almost every weekend together. He loves young people, since he is a little slow in some ways I think he likes to be around people that are his age mentally. I think he would quickly be "Kuya Daniel" to Simon.

My daughter Francesca is a wonderful young lady. She attends the same college that I go to, she is studying to be a music teacher. She plays the violin and is very good at it, she has been playing for almost half of her life. She also lives with her mother but tells me that she wants to live with me this fall so that she will be closer to school. Her boyfriend will be going to college this fall, and living on the campus, I think she will sleep at my place but I will hardly see her because she will be with him very often.

Do not worry about my ex. I know that the kids would like for us to be together, but we did not sleep in the same bed for the last 5 years, and were only intimate about once every couple of months. She has wanted to be rid of me for a very long time, she saved up money,bought a new car, got a separate bank account, had me spend a ton of
money getting cosmetic surgery done for her, then filed for divorce. She told me she has wanted that for many years and that there was no possibility of reconciliation. So if I was your regular friend from work and I ask you "Veruca, what would be better for me, a woman who has wanted to be apart from me for more than half of the time we are married OR a woman who would move across the world to be with me?" what would you tell me?

I may not be an expert on relationships but I think I know a dead one when I see it. I would never have divorced her but when she did that to me, that was the ultimate rejection. If some day I put a ring on your finger, I hope you will plan to be buried next to me.

I think that if we buy a house together then we will need to find one that has much storage for books, I have several boxes of them and that is after having given away hundreds of them. Have as many as you want. I feel terrible that the flood destroyed your collection, you are welcome to my Tom Clancy collection.

In the last several years I wear glasses myself. We will just have to remember to take them off before we kiss so that we will not bump lenses.

If you like to take baths, I am fine with that. You will smell sweet all of the time, what man would complain about that?

Of course you can try a rifle, I have a small one that does not 'kick' when it is fired. I will take you to a proper shooting range and teach you how to operate it safely. I think you may become addicted to it. It bothers me very much to hear that the police handle their guns irresponsibly. One of the first things a person
should be taught is "never shoot unless you want to hit something". To kill a woman randomly like that, it is worse than what a criminal does. If I get to teach Simon to shoot, I will teach him as seriously as I did young soldiers. Just so that you
know, I have a special license to carry a pistol with me wherever I go. I often do this, not so much because there is a lot of crime here, but if some idiot threatens me or those that I care about, he had better watch out.

I love Hall and Oates, but my voice is so terrible that dogs howl and babies cry when they here me. If I song karaoke at some place, people will pay me money to not sing. If we sing together then people will surely say "Oh! There is Beauty and the Beast".

If you can let me know about your trip when you know, I will plan vacation time off from work so that I can be a proper host to you.We will tour the new and used book stores, you can buy many and keep them with me so your luggage will not weigh 500 pounds when you go home. The weather here may be a bit cooler than what you are used
to but I will get you a coat if you are too cool.

I am sorry to hear about your Aunt's cancer, that is a terrible disease,I'm sure she will be greatly comforted by you and your mother's visit.

Yes, you are right, take things in stride and surely love will abide.

Fortunately I only attend school Tuesday and Thursday, five nights a week would be too much for me since I work all day. I like to be busy but that would be too much for me.

Sorry to write you such a book for a letter, there are so many things that we need to know about each other, I feel that we must open our hearts and talk about everything if we are to be successful in what we want.

Love,

Jim

Edited by verucasalt, 01 July 2012 - 12:59 PM.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#19 verucasalt

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 01:14 PM


Hi Kuya Jim,

The first thing that came up in my mind after reading your letter, is he for real?

As Filipino tradition dictates, there's always a courtship. The more we correspond
the more we get to know each other, or maybe you can call me sometime and we can talk. I know its difficult to express ones intentions on letters but this has far given us a lot of outlet to think things through in serious matters.

I'm very lucky to have met someone as kind as sweet as endearing as you. If i can
tell you that in person, i can say in much meaningful way. You're so wonderful, i can think of giving you a hug. I hope you have yet to propose marriage to me, Jim, I know this would lead to somewhere,i hope you'd be patient with me. And never will i leave you hanging towards a dead end or keeping your hopes up on something that won't come
true.

I want to get to know you more and i think it's right, we are not in a hurry. Good things come to those who wait.

All i can say is that i abhor plastic surgery,i live on simple means, i'm content with little things given especially God given looks. I would rather like long walks with you than spend on some fancy dinner. I would rather have nights with you watching an old movie at home than spending time shopping expensive jewelry.

You don't deserve to be hurt again my dear. no no no sir.

I have a mom support group at Simon's school, we are ten moms ,one a loving aunt and a grandfather. We're a group of friends who go out to celebrate each and everyone's birthday and confide on each other regarding school work. Oh did i tell you that my birthday is on the 14th? i'm turning 34! But i'll be celebrating it on the 11th, i'll be having a small party at home. I'm inviting you to my party. It's catered, i don't like the fuss on cooking fast because i have to pick up Travis right after school.

I have funny stories about the moms though, just recently one of them found out her husband has an affair, she kicked him out and get herself a nice makeover at the
salon. S when he comes back, she'd look ravishing. I find it silly to lure your man back from his mistress, you should get a makeover, look good enough to eat so he'd be wanting you back. The man had done the wrong thing.

That one is a deal breaker for me, an affair is an affair and i can't have you back. Its over. Done with it. I won't get a perm or have my nails done to get you back.

Maybe you can tell me the things that you don't like..


Love

Veruca

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Dear Veruca

I must admit I am at a loss as to Filipino traditions, I hope that you will teach me about them so that I can better communicate with you. I must admit that I worry some about disappointing you because I do not know all of the things that are important to you.There is always a gap between what women want and what men think they want, help me to close this gap so that we can achieve harmony.

You may consider me to be courting you, my intentions are sincere.I would be thrilled at the opportunity to speak with you, if you will share your phone number with me I would love to call you and wish you a happy birthday. I would of course love to accept your invitation to your party, if you see a taxi pull up and an American get out, I hope you will give me a big hug.

I will not spend more time talking about my ex other than to say one last thing to be fair, the cosmetic surgery was for her eyes, not the other things. These "little things" of yours that you speak of, I will treasure them. Some of my friends believe that bigger is better, my thought is that quality is more important than quantity and
that you are of the best quality.

An affair is a deal breaker for me as well. I will treasure you as long as I breathe but when that happens, trust and respect are gone, how can anything valuable remain?

I want to share a secret with you. There is a simple way that a woman can keep her man happy. It doesn't require surgery or trips to the beauty parlor, it does not cost money.

All that a women really needs to do is to be the source of her man's approval; if she
tell him that she loves him, trusts him, thinks that he is brave, strong, and smart, he will become addicted to her like she is a drug. I was faithful without this, but I hope that you will give me these things, all men need them but most do not really understand what they need. You give me what I need, I will give you what you need. If you do this, you will have me until the day they put me in the ground.

I have a deeply person question for you, are you a Christian? I don't care if you aren't a person who goes to church every day, I'm not,but I would really like to know.

It is raining and cold here today, would you like to come over and watch a movie? I will make some tea and we can sit on the sofa and cover up with a blanket and watch a show, does that sound like fun? Maybe later we can go to HobbyTown, I think you will shriek with joy when you see all of the RC equipment that they have.

Love,

Jim

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#20 verucasalt

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 01:32 PM

Hi Jim

This is my number 0917______________________.
I'm not a Christian , i'm Roman Catholic.
My family are devoted catholics and sometimes they feel bad when someone would change their " faith", there is a lot of misunderstanding towards that, and probably because they have this notion that other religions brainwash people. Honestly i haven't been
in church in 3 years, i got disappointed when i see people sleeping during a priest's sermon. I do pray often and teach Simon about the Bible. It so happens to be that Religion is his favorite subject in school.

Regarding Filipino Traditions, its just a chopsuey of other traditions, because we were occupied by America, Japan and Spain back in the day. Courtship is like getting to know each other and pursuing the person you like. My understanding of American culture is that when you date a few times or more than, then you have an understanding then you two are an item, correct me if i'm wrong. It's also applied here although i would much prefer the old tradition. It is proper for a filipino lady to have a man courting her at home. And since we're far apart, our letters would suffice at the moment.

I'm not playing hard to get, i want us to take things nice and slow.

I like you Jim. I know that we had only wrote each other letters just 2 or
3 weeks ago, and i know it sounds crazy, I took a leap of faith of telling you.

I believe what you're asking from me is not hard to do. When i care for someone , i adore this person to bits. Not asking for anything in return. Because i give my love 100%.

I had 3 relationships and they lasted for years and years and the end we became good friends. I only aspire whats good for the other person or for everyone at that. My Aunts would tell me why can't i just find some nice Filipino man; I will come in time,

Love

Veruca

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Hello Veruca

Just to clarify, Christian is any person who believes in Jesus Christ, so Catholics are Christians as well. Christians that are not Catholic are all grouped together as "protestant" because of their churches following Martin Luther's rejection of the authority of the Roman Catholic church.

I used to attend an Anglican Catholic (Church of England) church with my family, they still go there, I go to a different place now but sometimes I go to a Catholic church near where I live. They leave the church unlocked until late in the evening often and I will go in there to pray and light a candle. I was raised protestant but learned a deep respect for the Catholic church. If that is how you want to spend your life, I will sit next to you and hold your hand but I will have to remain seated while you go to Communion. That is fine with me.

If I had to guess, I would think that you told your mother or a good friend about me and they said "Veruca! Slow down! You are going too fast!" Am I right? I agree with your desire to be courted in the traditional manner and am willing to do this.
Since you appear to know more about my culture than I know about yours, you will have to tell me things that I do not know so that I will not disappoint you.

I don't know what the proper manner is there for making a courtship formal, so let me "take a stab" at it in my own manner.

Veruca, I believe that you are a wonderful woman and that I could spend the rest of my life with you as husband and wife. To that end, I hereby declare my intent to court you for purposes of matrimony, to win your mind and heart for myself. I pledge to you that during our courtship that I will conduct myself as a gentleman, that I will not date other women or even present myself to other women as an unattached
man. Will you make this same promise to me?

Your Aunts are wise, they understand that there are cultural differences between different countries. Yet at the same time I wonder if they are giving proper consideration to the fact that you are not quite like the average Filipino girl, maybe a crazy American is just what you need, I hope so.

My heart is warmed by the thought that you think of me so much. When you write to me, it is usually before I am out of bed but my phone makes a special sound to tell me that you have written to me. I wake up, put on my glasses, and read your note. I put my phone away and lay there for a bit wondering how I am so fortunate to have met
someone like you. When I wake up to the alarm clock, you are usually the first thing that I think about and when I go to bed at night you are there in my thoughts. I think about you many times during the day. So if you are thinking about me a lot, know that I am doing the same thing.

Some day in the future I hope to visit with you with a small box in my pocket that contains a diamond ring. I will spend the day with you and then at some point I will say "Veruca, you are the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with, will you be my wife?" My hope is that you will say yes, but when that day comes I want you to be certain from your feet to your hair that this is what you want. So I will wait until I think we are both ready for that day and pray that it will come.

I am so thrilled that you gave me your phone number! May I call you on your birthday to wish you a happy birthday? Just tell me the best day and time to do this and I will call.

You may be surprised to hear this, but every time you write, I read it several times to make sure I understand everything that you tell me. I sometimes re-read all of our notes just so I can feel the warmth of your words.

You said that you do not like to be nagged, I am not like that - let's deal with things and move on is how I like to do things.

I think I understand something about you, a conflict. You have told me that you want someone who can accept your past, but when I asked you about it you didn't say anything. Would it be correct if I said you thought "I like him but I don't want to scare him off with my past?" Veruca, I know that people make mistakes, sometimes pretty big ones. What matters most to me is the future, not the past, who you are today is more important than who you were 10 years ago.

Whatever it is that you want me to accept, please get it out of the way now so that we can move on. I can assure you, there are not many things that would scare me away from you. Jim is a big boy and can deal with things, let me prove that to you.

Love,

Jim

Edited by verucasalt, 01 July 2012 - 01:36 PM.

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim





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