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Sadly I ended my LDR and engagement to my young Pinay

engagment LDR scammer lies money

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#1 coolbluesk

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Posted 07 December 2016 - 07:40 PM

Hi everyone, I'm new here, but thought to share my experience and get some feedback from others here that may have had a similar experience.  I'm from New Jersey, USA and over 2 years ago, received a Facebook message from a childhood friend of mine that lives in Hawaii with his younger Filipina wife.  His wife with whom he's been married to for 7 years and gave him a son, is from the provinces of Leyte.  She wanted him to contact his friends and try to find a penpal or boyfriend for a woman friend of hers that lives in Metro Manila.  I agreed to contact her friend, mostly just to chat, since I was a bit lonely after my wife died in 2003 and my daughter grew up and moved out on her own.  Well, my new friend, I'll call "Sally" because I don't want to use her real name, and I seemed to hit it off, and before long we were chatting hours every day.  After a year, I wanted to meet her in person, and I flew to Manila and she and her family met me at the airport.  I stayed at a hotel near her apartment, and was surprised she wanted to stay with me and not go home.  Over the two weeks I was in Phils, we did everything together and had a great time.  I went back later that year for her birthday, and surprised her with an engagement ring, which she accepted.  Things were going very well between us.

 

Cut to Sept. 2016.  I paid for Sally to attend college for a year, and since she wasn't working, I was paying for her nice apartment, which she let two of her underemployed brothers live in and not ask them for any contribution towards the rent, utilities, or food.  On top of that, I'm friends with 30 of her relatives on Facebook, and they are constantly asking me for "loans"  haha right.  I'm giving Sally $800 USD a month, and she is always running short, and begging for more.  I found that strange because before she met me, she was living on less than $200 comfortably.  Sally refused to provide me with an accounting of where the money was going.  Finally a month ago, after I had just given her her $800 allowance, she said she needed $60 to buy her dog a birthday cake.  I calmly told her to just go to the store and get a cake mix, and some icing and bake her own, because the dog won't know the difference.  A few days later, she tells me that she doesn't ever want to discuss money with me again, wants no children with me, won't be intimate with me, and then makes a critical error.  She asked me if my mother still thinks she is just using me for my money and to get her green card.  This set off a huge red flag with me, because never has my mother ever voiced that concern, and I never told Sally anything remotely like that.  So, maybe I'm overreacting, but I called off our engagement, and told her I would not be sending any more money.  And that, my friends was the last I ever heard from Sally.  No calls, no texts, no Facebook messages, no asking me to reconsider.  Nothing, and it's been over a month since then.

 

I'd like to think that Sally really loved me even though she was 28 and I was 53.  I'm trying to stay positive, because for over 2 years she made me feel loved, and I got 4 nice vacations in Philippines with her out of it.  So any reactions? Please comment, I'd like to learn from this experience, and not repeat it.  Ohh by the way, news of our breakup spread fast, and I've been getting around 2-3 requests from Pinays who want to have my babies, and be my girlfriend, etc.  Some are only 18 years old.  I've had to block several already, because it was too disturbing to me.



#2 rbacon

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Posted 08 December 2016 - 05:29 AM

NJ Guy,

 

The magic wore off after she had been running it into the ground as long as you would put up with it.  Move on with your life and consider yourself lucky, for the good times you had together and that you don't have children with her to be responsible for till they reach age of majority.

 

--Ray B



#3 MrkGrismer

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Posted 08 December 2016 - 03:36 PM

An unfortunate story and one of the reasons why sending any sort of 'allowance', especially before marriage, is a 'red flag'. Some of the things in the story are understandable (Filipinos will almost always want to help out their family, so if they are receiving funds that 'elevate' them above their previous budgets they will almost always feel compelled to 'share', it's part of the culture). Very young or large age differences are also often a 'red flag'. Certainly they can work but life experiences can be very different and a young woman that is first entering the world will often have different desires, such as 'seeing the world' or 'gaining experiences' that an older spouse will have left long in the past, and instead be getting 'ready to settle down'. Of course, individual experiences vary.

Regarding the dog birthday cake... that's kind of silly to start with in my book, but different people can be different in how they think of pet dogs. Many filipinos see dogs (and cats) more for their practical aspects (guard dog, mouser) than for their 'companionship and surrogate friend' aspects. They usually have plenty of filipino friends. That being said I know many Pinays that have pet dogs that are pets (usually the small 'toy dog breeds tho', could be coincidental tho).

Try to find one closer to your own age, or at least experience. You already put one daughter through school, you don't need to keep doing it. Look for one that has already entered adulthood, and been there a while.


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#4 melody

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Posted 26 December 2016 - 05:36 PM

Hello Mr. coolbluesk...

 

Those first signs are not to ignore:Money shortage,underemployed brothers live in the apartment w/ her without any contribution being asked,she refused to give you an accounting of the money spent and buying a birthday cake for a dog.

 

Wow…a cake for a dog! Is this new in the Phil. brought by foreign  influence? :o  :lol: . My curiousity, is that dog was a gift from you or she already owned before you came into her life? Seems to understand because of no cake for the her dog, she turned into NO MONEY ,NO HONEY. :lol:

 

Sally did not love you truly. It is possible to understand from your story telling. She loves your money alone. Sorry ,im so sincere. :(

 

I believe that love knows no age limit or gap but it is advisable that you try to choose a girl with  age closer to yours (as Sir Mark told).

 

A mature-minded person as far as my experience and observation are concern, is not count by age.There are ladies who passed adulthood but they think and behave poorly. Usually a city girl loves fancy lifestyle than those who grow-up in the province.Well at the end, spiritually and personality have something to do too.

 

Move on but be careful for those Filipina girls/women who show rush interest in you. Your past experience serve as an eye-opener. Don’t search for Sally anymore. Good Luck for the next journey!


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