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do feel you are in harm going out alone?


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#1 melody

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 09:16 AM

Seems that everybody is shy to tell something in my previous thread.. :P


I created a new one base on my very own experience. I hope there is any pretty lady out there who can share her experience.

Have you or did you experience the same thing?

There was a time I walked towards the parking area to take some documents that hubby forgot on the car, a man about 50’s driving his car stopped me and said “come on lady would you like someone pick you up”… At one glance with my two rounded eyes, I ran towards hubby’s car..locked it until the men went away. What did he think about me that I am a prostitute huh being many Asian nationalities involve with this kind activity! :angry: I wore simple and decent dress (like always )that day not catching to ones eyes. Same thing happened for the second time ,as I walked on the street right after hubby coz I have short legs :lol: , a man while driving stopped to stare at me like I am an alien came from another planet or maybe he just wondered for my very long hair ..seemed like never he saw another lady that look like Chinese. I walked fast while shouting to him “ why are you looking that way like you are surprised!”. Really those events made me mad.. sometimes I am afraid to go outside without my big bodyguard.

Ladies petite like me do you feel in harm while walking in some areas?




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#2 James in Austin Tx

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 05:48 PM

You are lucky the guy asked and did not make a move - morale's in the world are slipping and so many sickos out there.. Luckily in the usa any woman can carry mace/pepper spray and obtail a concealed handgun license in most areas for the highest defense if they choose..

Seems that everybody is shy to tell something in my previous thread.. :P


I created a new one base on my very own experience. I hope there is any pretty lady out there who can share her experience.

Have you or did you experience the same thing?

There was a time I walked towards the parking area to take some documents that hubby forgot on the car, a man about 50’s driving his car stopped me and said “come on lady would you like someone pick you up”… At one glance with my two rounded eyes, I ran towards hubby’s car..locked it until the men went away. What did he think about me that I am a prostitute huh being many Asian nationalities involve with this kind activity! :angry: I wore simple and decent dress (like always )that day not catching to ones eyes. Same thing happened for the second time ,as I walked on the street right after hubby coz I have short legs :lol: , a man while driving stopped to stare at me like I am an alien came from another planet or maybe he just wondered for my very long hair ..seemed like never he saw another lady that look like Chinese. I walked fast while shouting to him “ why are you looking that way like you are surprised!”. Really those events made me mad.. sometimes I am afraid to go outside without my big bodyguard.

Ladies petite like me do you feel in harm while walking in some areas?



#3 melody

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 09:29 AM

You are lucky the guy asked and did not make a move - morale's in the world are slipping and so many sickos out there.. Luckily in the usa any woman can carry mace/pepper spray and obtail a concealed handgun license in most areas for the highest defense if they choose..



Yah..... i considered it as good luck inspite of the bad experience. I was so afraid that time ..thanks God the man did not make a move, we were not in the isolated area (advantage),there were people came back and forth from the offices. Never i and and hubby walk in the street where few pass by. Before dark we do our best to be back home,only one time in our lives we were late,we were in the city and took time to eat in a restaurant. I and hubb told each..fast to eat coz we have the impression to be in harm seeing many different faces.

Unluckily its too hard to obtain handgun license in my country..For what happened i and hubby always together when we are out and i do possible to be at home most of the time.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#4 egarcia

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 05:07 PM

Yah..... i considered it as good luck inspite of the bad experience. I was so afraid that time ..thanks God the man did not make a move, we were not in the isolated area (advantage),there were people came back and forth from the offices. Never i and and hubby walk in the street where few pass by. Before dark we do our best to be back home,only one time in our lives we were late,we were in the city and took time to eat in a restaurant. I and hubb told each..fast to eat coz we have the impression to be in harm seeing many different faces.

Unluckily its too hard to obtain handgun license in my country..For what happened i and hubby always together when we are out and i do possible to be at home most of the time.


These things always happen. My friend on her way to the car after shopping from Costco was approached by an African Ameican and asked "Where's your man? Do you need one right now?" Good thing there is some sort of panic button on her car alarm and she did pressed that button. It made quite some nice and frightened the perv.

Presence of mind is really need in these times wherever you go.

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#5 gattone

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 09:39 PM

Unluckily its too hard to obtain handgun license in my country..

You might as well say impossible, unless you wanna carry a hunters' rifle when it's hunting season.
Handguns for self-defense are restricted to those who carry huge amounts of money or jewelry or stuff like that; you can be granted a permit to own and transport guns for sport (target shooting) but you have to keep those guns unloaded either at home or outside. I don't know about spray but here in Italy you might be charged with weapons related crime if you have a paper cutter in your purse.

Back to the original topic i can't remember of anybody being really nasty to my wife; just some people staring at her as if they saw an asian woman for the first time.
She doesn't like that but it's not threatening, even though i understand that it can be annoying. Moreover lots of people here can tell no difference among the various asian nationalities, so she's very often mistaked for a chinese (and she doesn't look chinita at all).

Most of the time we're together; only once she was angry on somebody being rude: she was in a car with a Pinay friend who was probably driving very slow, so the rudeness was traffic-related and you know the average italian drivers attitude is not really nice...

#6 nite_guy

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Posted 30 October 2012 - 02:47 PM

My wife ran into some trouble on our light rail system here in Minneapolis. She had started a job and didn't have her driver's license yet. I would drive her to work, but she was off an hour and a half before me and took mass transit home. Two young Somali men sat right next to her and harassed her. I mean one sat in the seat right next to her and the other across from her and began talking in their own language, laughing and staring at her. I kind of doubt she was really in any danger, as there were other people riding to, but it certainly scared her. And gave her a bad feeling about black men, that appears to be going away now. I didn't really like the idea of her travelling via mass transit through the city's center because I knew things like that could happen. But she wanted to work so badly and was in such a hurry to accept any job, that i could hardly say no. But I do feel a lot more comfortable with her driving now and off the mass transit system. I had also bought her pepper spray to carry, but I don't think she ever carries it. Heck I'd get her a gun and training if she let me, as you can get a conceal and carry permit pretty easy here, but she wouldn't go for it.

#7 saccharine

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Posted 30 October 2012 - 06:47 PM

I normally go home from work by riding a bus, which usually occur around 2-3pm , which also means still plenty of daylight at a lot of people around. And even on those times i wanted to go to a mall or store on my own which requires riding a bus , I make sure that Im in a good time frame of the day, to avoid any untoward situation on the dark streets . When Im waiting for the bus or riding the bus, I usually have my mean look and avoid eye contact, when asked, i just provide monosyllabic answer. So far my bad encounters on riding mass transit were from those creepy males who wants to talk to me and in order to avoid these I usually occupy the 2 seat with my bag on the window side and me seating on the aisle side, that is when the bus is not that full, which is most of the time...

#8 Mr. Lee

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Posted 30 October 2012 - 08:20 PM

My wife ran into some trouble on our light rail system here in Minneapolis. She had started a job and didn't have her driver's license yet. I would drive her to work, but she was off an hour and a half before me and took mass transit home. Two young Somali men sat right next to her and harassed her. I mean one sat in the seat right next to her and the other across from her and began talking in their own language, laughing and staring at her. I kind of doubt she was really in any danger, as there were other people riding to, but it certainly scared her. And gave her a bad feeling about black men, that appears to be going away now. I didn't really like the idea of her travelling via mass transit through the city's center because I knew things like that could happen. But she wanted to work so badly and was in such a hurry to accept any job, that i could hardly say no. But I do feel a lot more comfortable with her driving now and off the mass transit system. I had also bought her pepper spray to carry, but I don't think she ever carries it. Heck I'd get her a gun and training if she let me, as you can get a conceal and carry permit pretty easy here, but she wouldn't go for it.


Take her shooting and get her used to small caliber guns and work your way up and then see what she says. My wife at first was more or less afraid of guns but I started her on a 22 and then worked up to a 9mm and then a .40 and now she will shoot just about anything I hand her and she has a carry permit and has been carrying for years now either a 9mm or on occasion a .357 and owns a few of her own guns such as a Glock 26, a Browning High power and a Kahr 9mm. I know I would not wish to be the bad guy that messes with her since she easily does head shots at about 10 yards. I also know I do not mind when she goes out shopping by herself or with friends because I know she is safe and that her hand is in her purse with a handful of grip while walking to the car. Posted Image

Sorry that some ladies have had problems with men but I suspect some of the time it is just because the ladies are different from what the men are used to seeing and many Americans can at times be very crude when trying to pick up a woman, while at the same time there are plenty of nut cases out there so please be safe and if you are not allowed to carry a gun then carry at least a loud noise making device or the remote to the car in your hand to trigger the alarm as you walk towards your car. Also learn self defense whenever possible because a simple move like poking out eyes might save your life.

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#9 melody

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Posted 31 October 2012 - 07:01 PM

You might as well say impossible, unless you wanna carry a hunters' rifle when it's hunting season.
Handguns for self-defense are restricted to those who carry huge amounts of money or jewelry or stuff like that; you can be granted a permit to own and transport guns for sport (target shooting) but you have to keep those guns unloaded either at home or outside. I don't know about spray but here in Italy you might be charged with weapons related crime if you have a paper cutter in your purse.


Most of the time we're together; only once she was angry on somebody being rude: she was in a car with a Pinay friend who was probably driving very slow, so the rudeness was traffic-related and you know the average italian drivers attitude is not really nice...


You said it right.. IMPOSSIBLE ..don't like to say it more. Hubby never own handguns..but he has some rifles for hunting as he loves to go hunting peasants and quail. You're absolutely right…for just a paper cutter in a purse one puts into trouble if being caught by authorities what more for handguns that are restricted even for those who really engage for a risky job! I'm glad that you have a clear vision of how things work here in Italy. Of course you know the best being Italian. ;)


But I'm asking if handguns are all the way fine..it could be all the way positive? :unsure: Buh...maybe it depends on how it being used.

Oh that rudeness when related to traffic I am used to that..haha! I have an Italian husband who hates traffic and has no enough patience to those female driving slow specially when there is to cross the roads. He says "Donna al volante pericolo costante e perche non stare a casa a far la calza" (Woman at the wheel constant danger and why not stay at home and knit) :lol: . I believe that a stressful life in Italy and being late for work etc. due to the traffic could make Italian drivers' attitude be different.


@ egarcia . I agree these things always happen to anybody but I didn't expect it from Italian nationalities.. I could relate it more to some immigrants here limiting myself to point out those black people ( as being mentioned by nite_guy)as they are victims of racism too. Many Italians believe that we Filipino people here in Italy are serious and not to be played with. There are cases even if we are very careful and have such presence of mine..the danger may follows us wherever we are. I don't know if there are more bad people than good.

@ Mr. Lee about such loud noise making device can I practice at least myself to YELL AT LOUD :lol: ...i doubt to carry loud noise making device worry if I they catch me making noise in the public and disturb public tranquility..I remember in a newspaper a couple were summoned for a case againts them coz they made love at night so noisy that there neigbouring houses were disturbed (can't sleep) :lol: :P . Hmm maybe learning martial arts is not restricted. How I could be ridiculous being petite fighting against Big men who are trying to harm me ! :lol:

Edited by melody, 31 October 2012 - 07:03 PM.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#10 gattone

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Posted 01 November 2012 - 01:44 PM

he loves to go hunting peasants

Oh, please, tell him to stop shooting peasants! Most of them are hard working people who provide us with good food and i have lots of friends among them... :D

Sorry for the OT, i couldn't help the joke :) I have friends here who are hunters and they shoot pheasants and, sometimes, wild boars.

Having a handgun would be a great deterrent against violent behaviour, both at home (break-in's) and out but our law clearly sets limits to the allowed level of self defense, so the reaction has to be proportional to the threat level.
If somebody grabs your purse and, by doing it, throws you on the ground giving you harm, he's charged with theft and injury but if you manage to throw the wannabe-thief on the ground to save your purse you're the one who's gonna be charged with injury.
I'm no lawyer but i believe that what i wrote above is accurate and it sucks; our humongous set of laws often looks like it's protecting the bad guys rather than the honest, law-abiding citizens.

#11 melody

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Posted 01 November 2012 - 05:21 PM

Oh, please, tell him to stop shooting peasants! Most of them are hard working people who provide us with good food and i have lots of friends among them...

Sorry for the OT, i couldn't help the joke I have friends here who are hunters and they shoot pheasants and, sometimes, wild boars.

Oh no..haha.. what happened to my head i forgot the "H" for the peasants.. :lol: forgive me ,that time i wrote the relpy i was discussing with my peasants :P

Hubby loves to catch flying animals than walking one..He says the skill of the hunter can be seen by shooting moving on air birds. :D

Having a handgun would be a great deterrent against violent behaviour, both at home (break-in's) and out but our law clearly sets limits to the allowed level of self defense, so the reaction has to be proportional to the threat level.
If somebody grabs your purse and, by doing it, throws you on the ground giving you harm, he's charged with theft and injury but if you manage to throw the wannabe-thief on the ground to save your purse you're the one who's gonna be charged with injury.
I'm no lawyer but i believe that what i wrote above is accurate and it sucks; our humongous set of laws often looks like it's protecting the bad guys rather than the honest, law-abiding citizens.

Yah..we BOTH AGREE our law sets limits to the allowed level of self-defense and most of the time we are more than accuse compared to the aggressor if we take a chance to defend ourselves...we are considered to be bad trying to defend ourselves while being attacked................. :angry: I have read many articles in the newspaper and even from the tv news events that make citizens really sucked ,bored and disturb for this kind of treatment. Something unfair and injustice.

Oppsss i hope we will not be warned to say a lot of unpleasant things againts our country. :unsure:

PS. I am amazed for your english skill.. coz there are few Italian really speaks english well unless they studied the language or they have been in US for a long time.


Edited by melody, 01 November 2012 - 05:23 PM.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#12 nite_guy

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Posted 02 November 2012 - 02:25 PM

I can understand quail or grouse being considered tougher targets, but pheasants are like 5 gallon pails moving through the air. As long as you're ready when they take off and they are in range, they're fairly easy to shoot. Unless you have a different bird you call a pheasant than we do here in Minnesota. I was a rather avid hunter when I was young, but after I finished college and started working, I found I didn't have enough time for all my hobbies and that was one I let go.

#13 melody

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 12:03 PM

I can understand quail or grouse being considered tougher targets, but pheasants are like 5 gallon pails moving through the air. As long as you're ready when they take off and they are in range, they're fairly easy to shoot. Unless you have a different bird you call a pheasant than we do here in Minnesota.


I did a research of pheasant image in Minnesota and i found the same that is available or provided here in Italy for hunting game...maybe a little bit more bigger those pheasants in your country :unsure: . What i am sure is the incharge for hunting season (don't remember what to call the authority maybe gattone can tell exactly) leave the newly prey out of the cage young and tender ready for hunting game...... so they can easily fly and easy to shoot.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#14 simplengbabae

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Posted 05 November 2012 - 11:52 PM

Not that I am afraid of being harmed but husband would always remind me to be very careful and alert. One time husband and I went to Captain D's for lunch, while waiting for the food husband went to bathroom. Then a black man approached me and asked me if i am Korean and said that my hair is beautiful, I replied I am from the Philippines and said thank you. When my husband returned I told him about it and for him it was rude! Although being alone in the house makes me really afraid coz we live in a country. I only know one neighbor who is lame, and we seldom talk coz of her situation.~

#15 melody

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 09:01 AM

Not that I am afraid of being harmed but husband would always remind me to be very careful and alert. One time husband and I went to Captain D's for lunch, while waiting for the food husband went to bathroom. Then a black man approached me and asked me if i am Korean and said that my hair is beautiful, I replied I am from the Philippines and said thank you. When my husband returned I told him about it and for him it was rude! Although being alone in the house makes me really afraid coz we live in a country. I only know one neighbor who is lame, and we seldom talk coz of her situation.~


Also here in your post i'm wondering why most black men are related to this issue . Most people have negative opinion towards them :blink: .

If you live in the countryside..do you think you feel safe?

Edited by melody, 07 November 2012 - 09:01 AM.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#16 MrkGrismer

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 02:25 PM

Also here in your post i'm wondering why most black men are related to this issue . Most people have negative opinion towards them :blink: .

If you live in the countryside..do you think you feel safe?


I think most people simply fear those that are different. They fear that which they do not understand.

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#17 simplengbabae

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Posted 08 November 2012 - 02:06 AM

Also here in your post i'm wondering why most black men are related to this issue . Most people have negative opinion towards them :blink: .

If you live in the countryside..do you think you feel safe?


Hi Melody, not that I have negative opinion towards black men. I respect them the way I respect other races. It so happen that I live in the south where most of them reside and had a few encounter with them. Another incident was while husband was buying gas one was asking him money. Despite that I like black coz they are very warm and hardworking people like us. My head manager is black he's fair and is very appreciative of me.

About living in the countryside my husband said it's safer to live and raise children in the country. Well, I don't feel that way specially when he's at work coz my neighbors are too far from me and in a day maybe total of 10 cars would pass by our house. In the Philippines, I used to live in the city where houses are just meters away not miles away...lol!

#18 MrkGrismer

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Posted 08 November 2012 - 01:43 PM

About living in the countryside my husband said it's safer to live and raise children in the country. Well, I don't feel that way specially when he's at work coz my neighbors are too far from me and in a day maybe total of 10 cars would pass by our house. In the Philippines, I used to live in the city where houses are just meters away not miles away...lol!


That always seems to be a big point of adjustment for people. Those that are used to living in the city have a difficult time adjusting to very rural areas, while those from deep in the provinces have a difficult time adjusting to city life.

We were recently looking at houses and Cleo did not want to live 'in the woods' (the house she was referring to wasn't really all that rural in my book but it is a relative thing). She is from Naga City, Bicol, and wanted to be able to see cars go by and such. She is happy with the house we got, even tho she can't really see cars go by (no living room windows on that side of the house) ;)

If you live in a rural area it can be good to have a 'get to know your neighbors' picnic party or something similar where you invite them over for a picnic (during the summer). It is even easier if most of your neighbors go to the same church as you.

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#19 melody

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Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:31 PM

About living in the countryside my husband said it's safer to live and raise children in the country. Well, I don't feel that way specially when he's at work coz my neighbors are too far from me and in a day maybe total of 10 cars would pass by our house. In the Philippines, I used to live in the city where houses are just meters away not miles away...lol!


Hi simplengbabae thansk for your time!

Your statement..... i mean of your hubby that you said made me think about...
Is that because of the presence of cars and people make you feel life in the country is safer or in what other sense living and raising children in the country is safer?

@ Sir Mark statemet " That always seems to be a big point of adjustment for people. Those that are used to living in the city have a difficult time adjusting to very rural areas, while those from deep in the provinces have a difficult time adjusting to city life."

I think it depend on people's view ,characters and personalites. I grew-up in a province and had chance to work and chance to live in the city back Phil. life. I got no problems to adjust but i prefer to live in provinces or countryside where i can sleep tranquility without cars passing by all the time and wake-up by the tektelaok song of the rooster in the morning. living near the nature seems to be positive for my spirit.

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Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#20 MrkGrismer

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Posted 09 November 2012 - 08:39 PM

I think it depend on people's view ,characters and personalites. I grew-up in a province and had chance to work and chance to live in the city back Phil. life. I got no problems to adjust but i prefer to live in provinces or countryside where i can sleep tranquility without cars passing by all the time and wake-up by the tektelaok song of the rooster in the morning. living near the nature seems to be positive for my spirit.


True enough, some people are 'natural born' city-folk or country-folk. But I think for many it comes from where they grew up.

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