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#1 thedreamcatcher89

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 01:59 AM

Hey you guys. Just like what the topic title says, a big giant depressing sigh.

So I came here in America and got married last year of December. And to cut it short, the honeymoon phase was long gone shortly after that. I know that marriages are not all rosey all the time and its going to be a lot of work but I didn't know it would be this much level of "Not-so-rosey" and this MUCH of work. To the point that its actually depressing. I really need a ton of advice and a ton of voices here from all of you who's married, who's been married and even single.

Okay, here i go.

*We ALWAYS fight. Like every week. We have been married for only 5 months or so and this is just embarrassingly, plain unacceptable CRAZY.
It's been to a point where I actually packed my stuff and walked out of the house very early in the morning, freezing and just plain numb from all the fights.


At first it was GREAT. Like we go to bed and we would have the greatest, kinkiest sex ever (in my opinion lol). We both are not very romantic people. It was never called making love and I am fine with that. We both are young and he's never been married and no kids and the same to me. So we both are like college kids kind of but living on a stable lifestyle, thanks to his job and years of making his life stable before me. We would go out, carefree of the time. Drink til wee hours in the morning. Chase each other in the living room, tickling and one thing leading to another. And just wake up wondering what the hell happened last night kind of thing. It's really great. Some people don't approve of that kind of lifestyle but it suits us.

When it comes to taking care of me in the sense of buying me clothes, make up, shoes, material shhhhstuff, i would say he's doing good on that part. It's just that something is missing. And I honestly don't know what it is.
.
But Lately..

-It's just every little thing. We both are always on our iPhones. Like bedtime means being on the phone for 2 hours til 5 in the morning. We both are night person. We get up 1 or 2 in the afternoon and we go to bed at 5 in the morning.

I would see pictures of cute/hot girls in his phone but I'm fine with that cause I have some of similar stuff too. But there was this particular picture that was so candid and it looks like it was sent to him by some girl and he was looking at it like he has heart shaped drawings on his eyes. Not the kind of look that you would see on a man looking at a porn picture but of a man in love to the person on the picture. So I asked him, who was that? And he said nobody. And I said "hand me your phone" and normally he would but this time he didn't. We both have locks on our phones that the other doesn't know what. And lately, when we sleep, we both would kind of get waken up by his phone beeping, text messages and stuff. First I got here, it was fine thinking its just probably one of his guy friends but when I start noticing these things and have these guy feelings, it's bothering me.

- when we fight, we both say mean words. I mean not just him but also me. We don't mix we'll when we fight. It's like we don't respect each other. We curse and call each other names. He say things like " I miss my life before you" and I'd be like "oh yeah? Well I miss my life before you too" and all the kinds of nasty things about damning this marriage. We throw our rings to each other, to the floor, to anywhere where we would have a hard time finding it in the morning.

- this most recent fight we had, we didn't talk for 5 DAYS. Didn't see each other, didn't text each other, didn't act like the other existed. He would go to work, pass by me (pretending i was asleep) and not say anything. would hear the garage door open and his truck leaving. Then I go about my day, alone. Browsing the Internet til my head pops and talk to my family back home. I don't tell them my problems. Take a really warm bath and sip margaritas and go to bed, watching movies til I fall asleep. I keep telling myself that the less I care, the better off I will be. I won't hurt as much.
Cos you know, it hurts to feel ignored and not cared about. So one night when he finally came in the bedroom to sleep, I woke up early in the morning and it dawned on me that I kind of missed him and told myself, why choose to be miserable when his right there next to you and you can get over this fight if you want to. So I snuggled him and did my thing and it was nice and blah blah blah. And we woke up and then the talking begins after 5 days of not talking. He said things that really bother me. He said that he didn't care, for real. That he was just waiting for me to go and he would just continue doing his everyday thing. Like he already planned it all out and how he figured out living without me. The things that he would do and all. He says "we should do this around the house and blah blah til next winter or maybe not cos you'll probably be not here and I would have my new girlfriend with me". So I'm like in my mind, wtf. A really big WTF.

I don't know I'm just ranting. If I was reading this post I would say "girl, your marriage is doomed". But thinking about it, that hurts. It's my first marriage and I really don't want to be divorced. I thought when people marry, they made a promise to hold on and hold on strong. I'm not a very typical filipina and I'm not the conservative, very religious type. I'm more liberated and carefree but still, it gets me. I mean, who would want a broken marriage?

Just like him, I can start a new relationship when this one ends easily. It sounds so horrible but you can't blame me. If you hear things like "I can do better than you" or "I'll be out with another girl in no time" , you'll eventually believe that it's going to be over and it's just a matter of time. And oh, he says these things that make me feel so small and he knows it bothers me. Things that would make me feel I'm nothing special and just a run in the mill girl he'd find anywhere else. But I mean i understand tho, girls are everywhere. Urgh.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Advice? State to me the obvious? Critics? Everything. I'm no angel either and I just want to hear anything from all of you here who's experiencing how it is to be married.

It's just sad that all the great feelings and things shared when I wasn't here in America yet is far from how it is when we are actually together. Like we were better off 8000 miles apart than 2 inches apart. Maybe it is true. True love is blind but marriage is the cure.lol. I wouldn't be shock if I find myself posting questions here everything about divorce. Urgh. Here goes my negative side again.

#2 rbacon

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 03:13 AM

Hey you guys. Just like what the topic title says, a big giant depressing sigh.

So I came here in America and got married last year of December. And to cut it short, the honeymoon phase was long gone shortly after that. I know that marriages are not all rosey all the time and its going to be a lot of work but I didn't know it would be this much level of "Not-so-rosey" and this MUCH of work. To the point that its actually depressing. I really need a ton of advice and a ton of voices here from all of you who's married, who's been married and even single.

Okay, here i go.

*We ALWAYS fight. Like every week. We have been married for only 5 months or so and this is just embarrassingly, plain unacceptable CRAZY.
It's been to a point where I actually packed my stuff and walked out of the house very early in the morning, freezing and just plain numb from all the fights.


At first it was GREAT. Like we go to bed and we would have the greatest, kinkiest sex ever (in my opinion lol). We both are not very romantic people. It was never called making love and I am fine with that. We both are young and he's never been married and no kids and the same to me. So we both are like college kids kind of but living on a stable lifestyle, thanks to his job and years of making his life stable before me. We would go out, carefree of the time. Drink til wee hours in the morning. Chase each other in the living room, tickling and one thing leading to another. And just wake up wondering what the hell happened last night kind of thing. It's really great. Some people don't approve of that kind of lifestyle but it suits us.

When it comes to taking care of me in the sense of buying me clothes, make up, shoes, material shhhhstuff, i would say he's doing good on that part. It's just that something is missing. And I honestly don't know what it is.
.
But Lately..

-It's just every little thing. We both are always on our iPhones. Like bedtime means being on the phone for 2 hours til 5 in the morning. We both are night person. We get up 1 or 2 in the afternoon and we go to bed at 5 in the morning.

I would see pictures of cute/hot girls in his phone but I'm fine with that cause I have some of similar stuff too. But there was this particular picture that was so candid and it looks like it was sent to him by some girl and he was looking at it like he has heart shaped drawings on his eyes. Not the kind of look that you would see on a man looking at a porn picture but of a man in love to the person on the picture. So I asked him, who was that? And he said nobody. And I said "hand me your phone" and normally he would but this time he didn't. We both have locks on our phones that the other doesn't know what. And lately, when we sleep, we both would kind of get waken up by his phone beeping, text messages and stuff. First I got here, it was fine thinking its just probably one of his guy friends but when I start noticing these things and have these guy feelings, it's bothering me.

- when we fight, we both say mean words. I mean not just him but also me. We don't mix we'll when we fight. It's like we don't respect each other. We curse and call each other names. He say things like " I miss my life before you" and I'd be like "oh yeah? Well I miss my life before you too" and all the kinds of nasty things about damning this marriage. We throw our rings to each other, to the floor, to anywhere where we would have a hard time finding it in the morning.

- this most recent fight we had, we didn't talk for 5 DAYS. Didn't see each other, didn't text each other, didn't act like the other existed. He would go to work, pass by me (pretending i was asleep) and not say anything. would hear the garage door open and his truck leaving. Then I go about my day, alone. Browsing the Internet til my head pops and talk to my family back home. I don't tell them my problems. Take a really warm bath and sip margaritas and go to bed, watching movies til I fall asleep. I keep telling myself that the less I care, the better off I will be. I won't hurt as much.
Cos you know, it hurts to feel ignored and not cared about. So one night when he finally came in the bedroom to sleep, I woke up early in the morning and it dawned on me that I kind of missed him and told myself, why choose to be miserable when his right there next to you and you can get over this fight if you want to. So I snuggled him and did my thing and it was nice and blah blah blah. And we woke up and then the talking begins after 5 days of not talking. He said things that really bother me. He said that he didn't care, for real. That he was just waiting for me to go and he would just continue doing his everyday thing. Like he already planned it all out and how he figured out living without me. The things that he would do and all. He says "we should do this around the house and blah blah til next winter or maybe not cos you'll probably be not here and I would have my new girlfriend with me". So I'm like in my mind, wtf. A really big WTF.

I don't know I'm just ranting. If I was reading this post I would say "girl, your marriage is doomed". But thinking about it, that hurts. It's my first marriage and I really don't want to be divorced. I thought when people marry, they made a promise to hold on and hold on strong. I'm not a very typical filipina and I'm not the conservative, very religious type. I'm more liberated and carefree but still, it gets me. I mean, who would want a broken marriage?

Just like him, I can start a new relationship when this one ends easily. It sounds so horrible but you can't blame me. If you hear things like "I can do better than you" or "I'll be out with another girl in no time" , you'll eventually believe that it's going to be over and it's just a matter of time. And oh, he says these things that make me feel so small and he knows it bothers me. Things that would make me feel I'm nothing special and just a run in the mill girl he'd find anywhere else. But I mean i understand tho, girls are everywhere. Urgh.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Advice? State to me the obvious? Critics? Everything. I'm no angel either and I just want to hear anything from all of you here who's experiencing how it is to be married.

It's just sad that all the great feelings and things shared when I wasn't here in America yet is far from how it is when we are actually together. Like we were better off 8000 miles apart than 2 inches apart. Maybe it is true. True love is blind but marriage is the cure.lol. I wouldn't be shock if I find myself posting questions here everything about divorce. Urgh. Here goes my negative side again.

Maybe I missed something, but it seems that you have no life outside of the home, no job, no school, etc.  Being stuck in the house all day is a recipe for disaster i an marriage.  You'll probably say, "He doesn't want me to work... "  Well, that's fine, but you need to do something...not just sit around all day stewing in your juices and emailing people thousands of miles away.

 

--Ray B

 

--Ray B



#3 thedreamcatcher89

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 03:31 AM

Sir Ray, you're absolutely right. I am MOST OF THE TIME, alone in the house. It sucks. He goes to work 11 hours a day and thats fine with me.

I've never been a home buddy kind of person in the Philippines before. I was always with friends and social and working and now Im just reduced to sitting in the couch or working out alone or eating cold meals alone or sitting on the porch. Its horrible. He has a lot of trust issues. His friends has stories about how girls just divorce after getting green cards so he didn't even file my AOS yet. Like he is just sitting on it. Been sitting on it for 3 months now at least. Its so frustrating  And If I start to talk about that then he starts accusing me of just using him. When what i want is for me to you know work and contribute to the household and make an adult out of myself. I've always been independent even when I was in the Philippines and I had a job, it wasn't much but at least. I didn't ask for allowances to my parents anymore and I've never asked him for money or anything when we were still bf/gf. So thats another one on top of the pile for this post. Lol



#4 melody

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 05:38 AM

Sir Ray, you're absolutely right. I am MOST OF THE TIME, alone in the house. It sucks. He goes to work 11 hours a day and thats fine with me.

I've never been a home buddy kind of person in the Philippines before. I was always with friends and social and working and now Im just reduced to sitting in the couch or working out alone or eating cold meals alone or sitting on the porch. Its horrible. He has a lot of trust issues. His friends has stories about how girls just divorce after getting green cards so he didn't even file my AOS yet. Like he is just sitting on it. Been sitting on it for 3 months now at least. Its so frustrating  And If I start to talk about that then he starts accusing me of just using him. When what i want is for me to you know work and contribute to the household and make an adult out of myself. I've always been independent even when I was in the Philippines and I had a job, it wasn't much but at least. I didn't ask for allowances to my parents anymore and I've never asked him for money or anything when we were still bf/gf. So thats another one on top of the pile for this post. Lol

 

oh how i could catch all of my dream and make all come tru.. ( i am referring it to me)

 

Anyway, i am very sad to hear your story and i appreciate how true you are sharing sincerely your negative side.. How i wish i could be there to comfort you and give you my personal advice though i believe that no one can give it better than yourself cos you are the one handling the situation....

 

Not all marriages are on bed of roses even those happiest couple on earth...couple fight,argue have many issues(we are imperfect) but if both unite by the fear of God (forgive if i include my belief) ,no one can separate them,there is always a space of recuparating the love..This i believe.

 

Many harsh words can be spelled during fight that sometimes those are just coming from the mouth not connected from the brain,i mean not intentionally (i really hope it is in your case)....I know those are hurt to hear like a knife penetrate into your heart.

 

Let me focus then to what i quote.....If i understood well you are not a home-bodied woman and you've always been independent ,so it sucks the kind of life you have now. Don't be offended if i ask... Before going in US,did you speak with him about the issue? Did you try to let him understand that you want to work,want your income and you are not a home-bodied woman?

 

My concern...............be strong.


"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#5 sixstringjunkie

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 10:54 AM

Kind of sounds like how our marriage started out.. :)


History is being made every second of your existence. Make every second count. History is meant to be remembered.

#6 charmel

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 02:35 PM

hi dreamcatcher89,

 

as i am reading ur post...u are still in your adjustment period not only to the environment but also in your marriage....both of you are still in adjustment period of your marriage...marriage needs a constant nurturing....every marriage go into fighting but it's up to us how we handle about certain situation but all i say is u should not go in a day without talking each other,u should not sleep when things are not settled...and please...pride is a soap...LOL so don't apply it in your marriage...or else everything will bubble... :P  :D ....think of ways how to divert his attention from his phone...surprise him once in awhile after work...or before work..by preparing foods...do some massage to him after his long day of work...be the wife that he will run as fast as he can to get home to you..don't be so insecure with the pictures he got in his phone...u are the wife so do the things to keep his attention to you...prove to him that u are a good catch of a wife that he would look for...and u are not just there in america for visa...u should also go out and do things together so that u won''t get bored easily and that's why u store some weird things to ur mind and rant it to him LOL :blink: ..keep the love burning... :wub:  and always pray...



#7 thedreamcatcher89

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 11:43 PM

Thank you for all the replies, specially the ones from the ladies. Urgh. I don't know. I think both of us doesn't know how to be husband and a wife yet. He's still kind of feel like a bachelor with his ways and I am the same way on my own. I didn't think marriage is this tough. Yikes. Sometimes I ask myself why. Lol. Charnel, I really appreciate your advices. Before this relationship, I am always the one getting the understanding and forgiveness and not the other way around so you could say i was a brat in my past relationships. So right now I'm struggling to adjust really bad and become this sweet, loving and "malambing" person. Ggrrrr...and it made me thought I'm not really all that mature in dealing things. I just realized and I hate it. However, there are things on his part that are missing too I think :( I think that love should come naturally and you don't ever have to force it or work on it. So sometimes t makes me doubt if it is really the real deal. It sounds so horrible I know :(

#8 Thetimewillcome

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Posted 13 April 2013 - 02:34 AM

 So right now I'm struggling to adjust really bad and become this sweet, loving and "malambing" person. Ggrrrr...and it made me thought I'm not really all that mature in dealing things. I just realized and I hate it. However, there are things on his part that are missing too I think :( I think that love should come naturally and you don't ever have to force it or work on it. So sometimes t makes me doubt if it is really the real deal. It sounds so horrible I know :(

I am a guy, so take my advice with that in mind.

 

While relationships do take work, there are fundamental things that usually come naturally. You can't force malambing, in my opinion. Either you feel it truly, or you don't.

 


 

I don't know I'm just ranting. If I was reading this post I would say "girl, your marriage is doomed". But thinking about it, that hurts. It's my first marriage and I really don't want to be divorced. I thought when people marry, they made a promise to hold on and hold on strong. I'm not a very typical filipina and I'm not the conservative, very religious type. I'm more liberated and carefree but still, it gets me. I mean, who would want a broken marriage?

To me, it sounds like neither of you were ready for marriage. As well as trust issues (both of you, but especially him).

 

And no one goes into a marriage thinking about breaking up, but sometimes, they really just were not the right person for you, or vice versa. Don't be hard on yourself about that.

 

To me, it doesn't sound like anything that would work...but I'm just some guy on the internet, so you need to come to that conclusion yourself... or not. Perhaps it is worth salvaging.

 

One thing that helped me make the decision was, I thought really hard about "what will my life look like in 2 years with this person? 5 years? 10 years?"

 

The answer for me was, it was a loosing battle, if I ever wanted to be happy...really happy again.


October 2010- Met online
October 28, 2010-Officially a couple
Feb 26, 2011- Met at NAIA
Feb 28, 2011- Proposed in Bali
Sept 1, 2011- Second trip to the Philippines
Feb 11, 2012- Third trip to the Philippines
July 9, 2012- Final divorce judgement
Aug 10, 2012- Sent I-129F
Aug 14 2012- NOA 1

April 19 2013-NOA 2
Aug 5 Sputum negative, finished medical

Aug 7 Embassy interview passed

Aug 31 Visa delivered.

 

The US government agencies that process visa applications suck stinky a$$.


‎"A wise man should consider health is the greatest blessing, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses" -Hippocrates


#9 thedreamcatcher89

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Posted 13 April 2013 - 04:15 AM

Thank you for the input Thetimewillcome. Wow. After reading what you said, Gee, its kind of like a fresh dose of reality. But I feel like its always easy to give up but sometimes people just do. I dont know. I dont know if this is just a test for this early part of marriage or not. There is always that fear of loosing the person, the fear of/or even the thought of a divorce. It gives shivers down my spine. Im just so scared. I honestly dont know what  this marriage will lead to. Its just sad. Here I am airing out my marital problems all over the internet. Geez. Sometimes I look at my engagement ring and remembering the day he proposed. How special it was. And my wedding band, the day we wed. Its sad that I have this thought at the back of my mind that I might not be wearing it anymore...

 

Anyways, enough of the rants. Thank you Wofers.



#10 rosemary2

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Posted 14 April 2013 - 06:36 AM

Hey you guys. Just like what the topic title says, a big giant depressing sigh.

So I came here in America and got married last year of December. And to cut it short, the honeymoon phase was long gone shortly after that. I know that marriages are not all rosey all the time and its going to be a lot of work but I didn't know it would be this much level of "Not-so-rosey" and this MUCH of work. To the point that its actually depressing. I really need a ton of advice and a ton of voices here from all of you who's married, who's been married and even single.

Okay, here i go.

*We ALWAYS fight. Like every week. We have been married for only 5 months or so and this is just embarrassingly, plain unacceptable CRAZY.
It's been to a point where I actually packed my stuff and walked out of the house very early in the morning, freezing and just plain numb from all the fights.


At first it was GREAT. Like we go to bed and we would have the greatest, kinkiest sex ever (in my opinion lol). We both are not very romantic people. It was never called making love and I am fine with that. We both are young and he's never been married and no kids and the same to me. So we both are like college kids kind of but living on a stable lifestyle, thanks to his job and years of making his life stable before me. We would go out, carefree of the time. Drink til wee hours in the morning. Chase each other in the living room, tickling and one thing leading to another. And just wake up wondering what the hell happened last night kind of thing. It's really great. Some people don't approve of that kind of lifestyle but it suits us.

When it comes to taking care of me in the sense of buying me clothes, make up, shoes, material shhhhstuff, i would say he's doing good on that part. It's just that something is missing. And I honestly don't know what it is.
.
But Lately..

-It's just every little thing. We both are always on our iPhones. Like bedtime means being on the phone for 2 hours til 5 in the morning. We both are night person. We get up 1 or 2 in the afternoon and we go to bed at 5 in the morning.

I would see pictures of cute/hot girls in his phone but I'm fine with that cause I have some of similar stuff too. But there was this particular picture that was so candid and it looks like it was sent to him by some girl and he was looking at it like he has heart shaped drawings on his eyes. Not the kind of look that you would see on a man looking at a porn picture but of a man in love to the person on the picture. So I asked him, who was that? And he said nobody. And I said "hand me your phone" and normally he would but this time he didn't. We both have locks on our phones that the other doesn't know what. And lately, when we sleep, we both would kind of get waken up by his phone beeping, text messages and stuff. First I got here, it was fine thinking its just probably one of his guy friends but when I start noticing these things and have these guy feelings, it's bothering me.

- when we fight, we both say mean words. I mean not just him but also me. We don't mix we'll when we fight. It's like we don't respect each other. We curse and call each other names. He say things like " I miss my life before you" and I'd be like "oh yeah? Well I miss my life before you too" and all the kinds of nasty things about damning this marriage. We throw our rings to each other, to the floor, to anywhere where we would have a hard time finding it in the morning.

- this most recent fight we had, we didn't talk for 5 DAYS. Didn't see each other, didn't text each other, didn't act like the other existed. He would go to work, pass by me (pretending i was asleep) and not say anything. would hear the garage door open and his truck leaving. Then I go about my day, alone. Browsing the Internet til my head pops and talk to my family back home. I don't tell them my problems. Take a really warm bath and sip margaritas and go to bed, watching movies til I fall asleep. I keep telling myself that the less I care, the better off I will be. I won't hurt as much.
Cos you know, it hurts to feel ignored and not cared about. So one night when he finally came in the bedroom to sleep, I woke up early in the morning and it dawned on me that I kind of missed him and told myself, why choose to be miserable when his right there next to you and you can get over this fight if you want to. So I snuggled him and did my thing and it was nice and blah blah blah. And we woke up and then the talking begins after 5 days of not talking. He said things that really bother me. He said that he didn't care, for real. That he was just waiting for me to go and he would just continue doing his everyday thing. Like he already planned it all out and how he figured out living without me. The things that he would do and all. He says "we should do this around the house and blah blah til next winter or maybe not cos you'll probably be not here and I would have my new girlfriend with me". So I'm like in my mind, wtf. A really big WTF.

I don't know I'm just ranting. If I was reading this post I would say "girl, your marriage is doomed". But thinking about it, that hurts. It's my first marriage and I really don't want to be divorced. I thought when people marry, they made a promise to hold on and hold on strong. I'm not a very typical filipina and I'm not the conservative, very religious type. I'm more liberated and carefree but still, it gets me. I mean, who would want a broken marriage?

Just like him, I can start a new relationship when this one ends easily. It sounds so horrible but you can't blame me. If you hear things like "I can do better than you" or "I'll be out with another girl in no time" , you'll eventually believe that it's going to be over and it's just a matter of time. And oh, he says these things that make me feel so small and he knows it bothers me. Things that would make me feel I'm nothing special and just a run in the mill girl he'd find anywhere else. But I mean i understand tho, girls are everywhere. Urgh.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Advice? State to me the obvious? Critics? Everything. I'm no angel either and I just want to hear anything from all of you here who's experiencing how it is to be married.

It's just sad that all the great feelings and things shared when I wasn't here in America yet is far from how it is when we are actually together. Like we were better off 8000 miles apart than 2 inches apart. Maybe it is true. True love is blind but marriage is the cure.lol. I wouldn't be shock if I find myself posting questions here everything about divorce. Urgh. Here goes my negative side again.

thedreamcatcher89 i wish you were close to my place so i can comfort you and so you are to me. my story is almost related to you. first year of marriage is so difficult especially if you and him do not understand each other.the worst experience i had is being embarasseb by him at the store.that day i really burst out all my regrets and threatened to leave. that day i don't have my AOS done yet.But i tell you ,even though my husband sometimes annoy me, irritates me , insulted me ,He always the first to ask for forgiveness. if those things were really really bad, he'll find a way to calm me and forgive him. porn? ask me? .he'd done that. if i cant take it anymore , he'll find me murmuring "hmm... someday maybe i can find a man who will respect me for the rest of my life" when he heared me like that he know exactly what to do. i always tell him what attitude i don't like from him that he need to change. well, this time it's not that worst anymore. i checked what kind of personality he was by googling his birthday of what chinese animal year he is. once you'll know his chinese animal sign you will know exactly his negative and positive attitude and in that u will understand him better and tried some consideration. i prayed many times too that God will stop him looking for porno sites. now i am thankful that hes not doing it anymore. All i could say is that He's the best guy i ever had. my advice for you is know his personality. i'm sure you know the month ,date and year he was born. whether he is a year of the dragon,horse or whatever. then google yours too so you'll know also what personality you have. then the rest of the story leave it to God, prayer changes everything dreamcatcher89. you will be surprise what comes and goes. the more you pray and belive the more things happen. God bless you..



#11 melody

melody

    Rule Your mind..Or It Will Rule You..!

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Posted 14 April 2013 - 06:05 PM

@ rosemary2 woman like you should be given an award ;)

 

I like very much the way you deal with your marriage and your great patience while putting your burden to God.

 

I add..... knowing man's/husband's background in his past life can help us to understand why he is doing so or treating the wife that way.

 

I believe that true love is not that love at first sight..... true love can be felt thru years and many years of marriage passing all those differences,difficuties,insults with great patience and prayer. Even incompatibilty can be understood by years of marriage and can be solved gradually....So thedreamcatcher89 this is not a dream..put yourself strong facing trials of marriage-life and i really hope things then will be smoother....Do good things as much possible as you can.Don't loose hope.


"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 





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