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#1 outacontrol

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:30 PM

My GF and I have been chatting in all kinds of social media for almost a year.  I have plane tickets for next month. Now we are arguing about nonsense,. How do you handle the distance and trust while being so far away?  



#2 Thetimewillcome

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:09 PM

My GF and I have been chatting in all kinds of social media for almost a year.  I have plane tickets for next month. Now we are arguing about nonsense,. How do you handle the distance and trust while being so far away?  

If there are jeolousy or trust issues by either one or both parties in a long distance relationship, it just won't work.
IMHO.

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#3 1PPCLI

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:15 PM

If there are jeolousy or trust issues by either one or both parties in a long distance relationship, it just won't work.
IMHO.

I would generally agree with this, but in the case, it may be a lack of self-confidence with his girlfriend.

If they have been chatting for a year, and only now this issue has arisen, maybe the crabs are feeding the doubts , with comments such as, she is not good looking enough, look how poor you are, what does he see in you, or he is just going to use you.

Just try to enjoy your visit and what will be will be.

#4 charmel

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:46 PM

i guess this is just normal especially now that u are going to visit her next month... all negative thinking may arise..

 

like hey u might not like me because i am like this and like that...

 

i already know this kind of feeling hahahaha..

 

just don't loose the faith in each other...and the love... everything will pass through after u meet each other...and i know u will both enjoy your vacay...

 

have fun...



#5 James in Austin Tx

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Posted 22 January 2013 - 05:16 AM

I think many have had this issue. Just reassure her when you visit and get to know the family and her as best as possible during your visit.. Its all about culture and building up the relationship many times.. LDRs are hard as we all know. I have recentlyhad a marriage/relationship end with my LDR after years only to find my current filipina here in Austin.. Wouldnt trade this lady for anything ; ).. So its all up to those involved and the current situations that determine where one ends up.. I still think filipinas are great ladies personally.. .. My worthless 2 cents



#6 denterprise

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 01:45 AM

What kind of nonsense are you arguing about?  I can understand expressing some concerns of insecurity from either one of you because it is a long distance relationship and you have not met in person yet.  If she is insecure then she should be able to discuss this with you like a mature woman.  But if you are getting into arguments over nonsense already you should be concerned.   I am not saying it is a deal breaker but the issue will have to be addressed and not danced around.  If she handles stress this way can you live with that?  Are you willing to go through the emotional and financial expense to petition a woman and then spend the rest of your life with a woman that argues over nonsense?  These are questions only you can answer when or if the time comes. 

 

I disagree with the notion this is normal behavior because your arrival is near.  This is not normal especially since you are going to visit her next month.  This is the time when most women get excited and can't wait for their man to finally fly over and meet them in person.  You two should be busy talking about your plans and what you plan to do when you get there.  Yes, there will be cultural issues but make sure you can differentiate what is cultural and what is an emotional defect.  A woman or man that is unreasonably insecure will be an emotional drain that will keep drama going in a relationship.   When you get there just take your time and get to know her better.  If she is the woman for you work out your differences and grow from there.  Either way, enjoy your time there and sock up every moment.  


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#7 JoeB

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 08:49 PM

I'm not sure that all Filipinas get excited about a visit, or at least not excited in a positive way.  Just before my first trip over I began to get very mixed signals ("Oh...you're coming next week?   Hmm...I'm not sure how much time I'll have.")  I was sitting at the airport dreading what was going to happen, but the visit went great.  It turns out that she was really insecure about meeting me, and I suspect those feelings are not uncommon.  



#8 GregOry

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:46 PM

My GF and I have been chatting in all kinds of social media for almost a year.  I have plane tickets for next month. Now we are arguing about nonsense,. How do you handle the distance and trust while being so far away?  

I don't see a good answer for you... and I don't know if I have one either.  It is difficult to relate long distance, especially if you have never met before in person.  Lots of anxiety comes with the anticipation of meeting.  I remember it well. 

 

As far as jealousy... that is a very broad area and without details I hesitate to offer much on the subject.  Jealousy by you?  From her?  From her friends toward her?  I will say that SHE had a few negative nellies that caused HER a lot of distress right before I arrived.  She did not want to talk to me about it so I found out through her aunt that lived in the USA as I was staying at her house at the time.

 

Patience, talking & taking deep breaths comes to mind.  I know right before I came over there were some topics that we started into that were better left for when we were together.  Whenever we started into one of them I wrote it down and told her, "That is something good for us to talk about after I get there."  It worked pretty good for us. 

 

In the end you two will have to find something that works well for you.  If it is getting better, continue on; if it is getting worse, try something else.  It is all part of the growth of a relationship. :wub:


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#9 melody

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:02 AM

outacontrol you and her are arguing about nonsense? As what denterprise asked,what kind of nonsense you are arguing about? Could you be more specific? As for me it is a waste of time to argue about nonsense. I could tell myself if you and her argue now about those,how much more when you are here get married?

 

Normally coz by distance distrust happen before the encounter,don't pressure yourself about it,meet the lady and then argue with serious things...


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#10 W. Thomas

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:43 AM

hehe

 

I am thinking/hoping that this is much ado about nothing. 

Before I met Marichu for the first time, I was jealous and she was not so much.  After that first meeting I lost my jealousy and she gained some.  Now we are both not so jealous, so bleh...  Do not place too much on it.  LDR's are HARD!!!  She is putting complete and total trust into someone she has never met and if things go well she will be leaving EVERYTHING she has ever known. 

 

Marichu was vomitting before my first visit and was still nervous about my last visit.  This is soemhing huge and if you are not feeling anxious, I would be stunned.

 

Spend as much time with her AND HER FAMILY during your visit and you will have a good picture of how things are between the two of you.  Be patient with her and your reward might be great. 

 

OR, she might be a petty little brat... find out during your viist .. Try not to try and judge her too harsh right before you go... Open mind and heart.

 

Best of luck to you!


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#11 outacontrol

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 04:29 AM

Hi everyone.  Thanks for the advice and comments.  Seems like it was just a confidence issue with her.  She was nervous that I wouldn't like her or find her attractive so she kinda put up a wall even though I've seen numerous pics and seen her on Skype. The meeting went better than expected.  I convinced her that I see her as a beautiful woman and the shyness soon went away.  She adores me and I'm crazy about her.  Now that I have been home for a bit we miss each other terribly.  I'm already planning my next trip and should be going back in a just a couple months. (-:






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