I was on a social site called meetme which is a little bit like facebook. Some used it as a dating site, but I mostly went there for just social interactions. I kept my friend circle small and usually only became friends with new people through friends. One day, I was awake and on the site before all my friends were awake so I became bored and looked in the global feed out of curiousity. Joy had just joined a few days before and posted her first profile picture just moments before I looked. I can't explain it, but something inside me fell in love almost immediately. She is beautiful, but that doesn't really explain it. It was something I could read in her face that I can't explain.
I felt compelled to write to her which I had never done before. I didn't even know if she spoke english and would understand me. My message was pretty simple. I just told her that I felt compelled to write her and explain how seeing her face made my heart beat fast and I couldn't understand why. She replied back in joke that 'Does that mean that you are in love with me? haha' And that was pretty much it. We ended up talking every day after that getting to know each other.
We were both hesitant to begin a long distance relationship which we both knew would be very hard. She had never considered moving to the U.S. and was a little frieghtened by the idea. Her entire focus was on her daughter and a relationship was the last thing on her mind. She was working as a domestic maid overseas at the time. She was working to provide for her young daughter who was back in Phil and to build a house for them in Phil.
But falling in love was easy for both of us as we shared stories about our lives and found many common things and differences enough that we learned from each other. She became my best friend first. Because it was impossible to meet in person until she finished her contract. So we just talked for almost a year and a half, growing more and more in love with each other.
Finally her contract ended and I decided that I wanted her to go back to Phil and stay there to raise her daughter while we did the visa. I would provide her allowance. She was against this idea at first because she of course had a pretty secure job and had a plan already before she met me. She was understandably scared of losing the job and what if things didn't work out between us?
But she knew this would be necessary in order to do all the things she needed to do to get a visa. After she got back to Phil, I went to visit her for 2 weeks (I just returned a few weeks ago.) I asked for us to spend a week also with her daughter to make sure that we bonded as well and that she would accept me. We both felt that was extremely important as the last thing I wanted was for to yank her daughter from her life there, move her to another country with some stranger, and expect her to just deal with it. I needed to know that her and I would bond with each other. No matter how much her mother and I loved each other, something like that could make or break us. So I rented a condo there so we could live as a family to see how we all bonded together.
It went wonderfully. It only took two days for her daughter to start bonding with me. My fiance and I hit it off in person immediately of course because we already knew so much about each other. We cooked together and played together like a family. I asked her daughter for permission to marry her mother and she told me yes. And then I proposed to my fiance and she also said yes.
My fiance just told me the other day that a man came to the house to try to call on her and before she could even reject him her daughter chased him off, telling him that her mom is already married to me (we are not married yet). lol. So I think I definitely have her approval. My fiance warned before I came that her daughter was very jealous of her mom, didn't like most of the men before that tried to court her, and was not shy about letting them know that. Before we brought her daughter to Joy's mom so that we could spend the next week alone, I asked her if she wanted me to be her papa and she told me yes.
Now we are working on the long process ahead to get visas for the both of them so that they can come here.
This has been 2 years already and she has become my best friend as well as my lover. We've already had our fights and learned how we will deal with them. We compliment each other well in that. She has a wild temper and I am very calm which calms her down quickly so we can talk. We have great communication with each other now.
She was worried when I went there that I would see so many beautiful Filipinas that I would choose someone else besides her. But, to me, she is the most beautiful scenery in all of the Philippines. She is smart, funny, nurturing, and has the most beautiful smile which lights up a room. My family has even fallen in love with her already.
Oh, and she still makes my heart beat fast every time I look at her.
I wanted to share this because I felt the situation was unique enough. Many men want a woman without kids or they only accept that the kids as there as part of the package. For me, I am looking forward to adopting her daughter and living as a family (we plan to have one more child together.) I am not simply accepting a child as part of the package. Many of my friends asked why I would take on such a burden and I tell them it is not a burden, it is a blessing to me.