Hello...Just my dull pennies worth,
Hi........... for as long as you have pennies those are never dull…
I have read in other threads what should and should not be done in respects to money and their filipina..I Fail to understand how and wear you should have a hard and fast rule..
I am a generuous type of person but too much generousity is not advisable.I love to help but only if under my possibility. It happens that when you help and help (without limit) others ask and never finish,taking advantage of generousity. I love my parents very much but I can’t shoulder all their financial needs and they should not pretend to depend everything on me. Besides I know they can still provide some extra of their own. What happens if I pass away? I always tell them to keep money for rainy days coz life is a surprise and a continous change.We don’t know if tomorrow we will have something to eat, so they must spend money wisely and don’t waste it for the things they don’t really need just to impress others. I am lucky coz my parents are my best friends,I can reason with them and they understand the situation,they realize that my advice and my principles are not to hurt them. My hard and fast rule is not for lack of love to them..it is for them to learn and understand that in life we can’t have all what we want and all what we like to have. Besides I know they have less to spend for a living. My brother has a good and stable job ,he helps to buy items and goods they need. Mom has a sister in Australia that sends enough money to her during Christmas, dad has his SSS etc………they are not dying of hunger nor they are malnutrited.With all these words I say,I believe that the money I send to them is worth a better life than the life they had before my marriage to my Italian.
I send her 12,000 php a month and pay her cell and internet..she sends her parents 4 to 5 thousand pesos per month...As in the begining of or relationship I know me telling her I am not rich would go in one ear and out the other she says "I know Jimmy" I do not accept this reply..I tell her time and time again what I do for a living whatmy hours are...How much my bills ect ect..I know from the start before I ever commited to any support. that she has responsabilty to her family,And how much she sent them..I am sure she reads my posts here.will be shaking her head yes I tell her these things hehe But I told her I respect her commit to her family as she becomes part of me.I also accept this responsablity..In the same statement I ask that she can put her and I as a new family first..
I send more than what your wife sends to her parents. I guess such money she sends is enough for her family so mine could be more than enough for my small family huh.
Put a family ( in PHIL) first is a good principle but hurt to feel it specially because we are family-oriented and we value our parents but we are not obligated to commit ourselves,all our money,our savings to parents now that we wives committed ourselves to the husbands. Marriage take this consequence too. Of course a loving husband seeing wife’s family in need while the wife is living in abundance, he should not close two eyes and tell it’s your responsibility and not mine. He should close just one eye and leave behind the other aspect. What he can help for the wife’s family is truly a blessing.
Her answer is yes.so I ask again is she SURE....she just smiles and says 1 million percent...Now because this is our new joke I will always ask her if she is sure when I think she answers to quickly and want her to understand the seriousness of the question I ask of her... I do not understand the women that always say they want to be independant..I work its my money I will spend it on what I want..next sentence tell you its your responsablity to provide as the man in the relationship ...I agree with the people who think this helping the family and marrying the family is not exclusive to the philippines..Anyone who marrys should know there partners relationship with her family and what will be the expectation on both sides of the aisle..
You said it well…. “the people who think this helping the family and marrying the family is not exclusive to the philippines..Anyone who marrys should know there partners relationship with her family and what will be the expectation on both sides of the aisle.” And I add before marriage or engage possible issues must be discussed. The issue of a woman working and become independent, must be agreed earlier. Usually women like to feel we have our own and do things from our own ability and effort,it's normal.When hubby gives me allowance I am happy to feel that I have my own money,that I manage and budget for the things that hubby agrees too.Marriage is not this is yours and this is mine..though they couple both have a job.And telling the money is mine ,I do what I want is not that bad for as long as it’s doesn’t ruin the marriage.
Ps..I would like to think that Most parents in the philipines would just be happy their daughter is Well provided for, Loved, Respected and living a better life..and most of all Happy!!
Same words that I repeat to my parents and seem they understand that when they call me that is because they miss me,to say thanks for the money and not by asking more. When we contact each other they never forget to say hi to my husband and send their love from miles and appreciate him that with him my life is better and my eyes couldn’t become black-eyed once hubby and I face a quarrel (unlike Filipino couple)
Wishing everybody a happiness that comes from ones state of mind.
Edited by melody, 16 December 2012 - 09:39 AM.