English Language Barrier - obstacle in relationship?
Posted 19 April 2007 - 07:15 AM
Posted 06 May 2007 - 10:30 PM
Posted 07 May 2007 - 04:21 AM
Posted 20 May 2007 - 02:22 AM
I appreciate you being real on this situation and you know what? you and my fiance then was in a same boat. He was a little skeptical. Unsure. Well not until he picked up the phone and called me for the first time. At first, I sound really funny, had to grasp words--literally looking at the ceiling hoping I can find answers there. I can even hear some dogs outside barking, well all because I was loud talking to a person I have been talking ONLINE all the while and goSh!! my heart was bizaarely in motion, can't breathe. The rest is history.
Just an advice, book a flight. If you think she's a good soul out there, go and see her. Who knows...you might be missing half of your life or maybe your whole life depends on this person to complete you. Don't trust on your first judgement sometimes.
Edited by manicmonday, 20 May 2007 - 02:23 AM.
Posted 05 July 2007 - 01:19 AM
Posted 08 September 2007 - 03:05 AM
Not being able to communicate is definitely a barrier. If you are still serious at this point then
you can explain to her in a nice and civil way, no, it wouldn't be offensive at all and it is most
realistic and practical to help her prepare for your lives together in your country.
In any relationship especially in cross-cultural relationships, communication is definitely important.
And one way to communicate is understanding each other through a common spoken language,
a key to building a relationship that really works.
Love is not enough to sustain a good relationship/marriage, just as love is not enough if there is no
food on the table, or roof over your head. Otherwise it would become sooo boring in time, tedious,
embarrassing, depressing, and frustrating to both of you, if you cannot express yourself, cannot be
understood, or fail to adapt to your new surrounding, country/home.
Thus so, it certainly pays to learn the language of your adopted country and make an effort
to remove this language barrier to a great communication.
...But the experience kind of bursted my pink bubble. I began to have my first doubts while projecting into the future as to whether I can truly be in a satisfying relationship with someone who there will be a persistent language barrier. Online chatting was fine, but in conversation, it was difficult. I think she knows enough functional English to get by, but not to have a mature conversation. This concern is on top of the fact that she comes from a very small village in Agusan del Norte a province of Mindanao.
Has anybody been in a similar position that can offer guidance, advice and/or suggestions. Please share your experiences. I WANT to make this happen, but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment; Being commited to a woman who I can hardly have a conversation with. Would it be unrealistic or offensive to request that she go to an English language school if I payed?
Posted 02 November 2007 - 02:06 AM
Posted 25 March 2009 - 05:30 PM
My bf, Michael came here in Cebu for the first time. We never had a chance to talk on phone before he came. I admit, though i understand his english, but i cannot speak it directly, i still have to think if it is correct before opening my mouth. But when time goes by, everything went fine, and we were able to have a few conversation about anything that comes in our mind. One time we argue, and i was really shocked i spoke english very well, i think its because i was really angry at that time. There i found out that i am good in english, its just i am always hesitating if i speak it correctly or not. Sometimes my mind will pushed my tongue back and when i am going to speak, the words will be scrambled and it made me laugh realizing that i speak real terrible. Daily conversation would helps alot.
Always speak slowly, not too slow but let your gf understand what you are saying, you adjust first step by step and you will see then one day you are able to create a good conversation. my advice is not to use shakespearean words which has a deep meaning and i am sure your filipina gf wouldnt really understand it.
K1 Timeline*****if you want to ask anything about this processing dont hesitate to ask, i'll be glad to help.****
01/16/09- Michael joined Internationalcupid. sent me a message..
01/16/09- started communicating through email only.
01/21/09- (my b-day) started using instant messenger
02/17/09- decided to come in PI to meet me.
02/19/09- booked a flight and hotel
03/02/09- arrived in PI (his b-day)
03/06/09- Goodbye my love, flew back to Texas
03/18/09- hired a lawyer for K1 Visa
03/25/09- sent G325A and other documents to love
03/30/09- love received the forms.
04/07/09- sent the forms G325A, I129F and other documents in checklist to our lawyer
04/09/09- lawyer received the forms and docs.
04/17/09- lawyer sent the forms
04/29/09- NOA1...case number received.
08/06/09- Love came back for the 2nd time....SOOO HAPPY..
08/14/09- Love flew back to Texas...SOOO SAD
09/01/09- NOA2 hard copy....mnl case number
09/02/09- NVC letter received..mnl case number
09/22-23/09- Medical passed..thanks lord
09/28/09- interview cancelled due to typhoon Ondoy
09/29/09- Interview...yaysss passed...
10/02/09- VISA VISA VISA VISA on hand..
10/05/09- CFO seminar DONE
10/14/09- Arrived in Texas
11/25/09- wedding day..
11/26-29/09- Honeymoon in Vegas..
12/02/09- applied for ssn..
12/08/09- received a letter from SS.. card will arrive in 2 weeks..
12/16/09- SSN received..
01/06/10- AOS application submitted..
01/15/10-3 Receipts received..
02/02/10- Biometrics at Lubbock
03/04/10- EAD notice via email..Ordered production of new card
03/09/10- Advance travel parole arrived via mail
03/10/10- EAD approval notice sent..
03/13/10- EAD card arrived..
04/07/10- Interview at El Paso
06/15/10- Got my Greencard
Posted 18 April 2010 - 05:05 AM
Im teaching him Cebuano. No pressure though.
Posted 18 April 2010 - 02:30 PM
Here is Canada, we also have to press 1 for English and everything is translated in very often very literal French. I wonder what the Quebecois think every time they see the horrible translation? Sacre bleu!
I believe that an advanced level of fluency in a foreign language is very important to a successful interracial relationship. It's either you learn to speak her language or she does just that exactly. It's more fun though if you do it together. As a couple you need to be able to communicate in a mature and deeper than the superficial level, after all you will be building and sharing a life together. If one of you decides to move to the other person's country, that person will need to be able to assimilate, integrate and become a fully functional member of that society in order to not always feel like an outsider, someone who does not belong. Moving to a new country is not easy, it's like starting and building your life all over again and to do that successfully, you have to be able to speak the language.
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