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Dark side of some Filipina women


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#41 shipscook

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:28 AM

Huh..your statement is very philosophical ! :blink:

You mean the one containing "acting like a Christian"? Admittedly one could interpretate my full statement also as "acting like a prostitute".
But that is not what i meant. lol.

However, the fullpost i made in this topic is born out of practical expereince. In the nineties i was active in a Phil/german association with a large percentage of woman being prior bargirls.
Marriages worked fine in the first years, but as mentioned,the problems started later.

Now thanks to the associations connections, Psychotherapists were (free) available and many mariages were saved by dealing with the problems of the woman.
Some other people over the years i have met and not having aid in the above matter were almost all divorced and the ending was bad.

#42 SamnZel

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Posted 17 June 2012 - 02:14 PM

I agree with melody , there is a better way to make a living, its the Job that is bad..

What is worse is when the girl is forced into it.

#43 verucasalt

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 11:12 AM

This topic is just Daft with a capital D. The dark side of some filipinas should be retitled as " The problem with some Filipinas". With regards to Bargirls and whatlike, they make a living because they chose to be in it, they have their own sets of issues. On the other hand, people often misjudged them because they're doing these things because they were grown up to believing that this is some life to lead, being a BarGirl. Who wants to be a Bar Girl, ask them, ask these women with their stories of leaving their lowly provincial huts to Manila, some pimp often tell them the same sob story to clients over and over again.

The problem with some Filipinas is that they look down on some provincial lasses who have good american boyfriends, regardless how old they are. Obviously, these so called puritans don't have that same luck with these men.They underestimate the nice provincial lasses ,thinking that they're desperate and wanted a good life. It's the crab mentality that really gets to my nerves. Let them be, Find your own lover than focus on someone elses happy lives.


Who doesn't want a good life? who doesn't want to find Love? who isn't tired of being with these so called mama's boys who can't even lift a single finger to help in the house? ( read these: SOME filipinos)

You are someone that can be persuaded but not directed.  I may try to influence you to see things my way but there won't be many occasions with I'll be obstinate with you - Jim


#44 SamnZel

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 04:26 AM

I married the traditional filipina from the province, she never worked in a bar i was her first and only boyfriend.

She is 30 now and sells furniture, and her family is poor....

I think its wonderful that the bargirls can find someone that is willing to marry them, its a shame that the sex industry is so lucrative.

Personally my issue with an ex sex worker (bargirl) wouldn't be anything other than an STD,




This topic is just Daft with a capital D. The dark side of some filipinas should be retitled as " The problem with some Filipinas". With regards to Bargirls and whatlike, they make a living because they chose to be in it, they have their own sets of issues. On the other hand, people often misjudged them because they're doing these things because they were grown up to believing that this is some life to lead, being a BarGirl. Who wants to be a Bar Girl, ask them, ask these women with their stories of leaving their lowly provincial huts to Manila, some pimp often tell them the same sob story to clients over and over again.

The problem with some Filipinas is that they look down on some provincial lasses who have good american boyfriends, regardless how old they are. Obviously, these so called puritans don't have that same luck with these men.They underestimate the nice provincial lasses ,thinking that they're desperate and wanted a good life. It's the crab mentality that really gets to my nerves. Let them be, Find your own lover than focus on someone elses happy lives.


Who doesn't want a good life? who doesn't want to find Love? who isn't tired of being with these so called mama's boys who can't even lift a single finger to help in the house? ( read these: SOME filipinos)



#45 kalamputi

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 06:07 AM

I don't think Melody should be pilloried for a poor choice of words and at this point should be thanked for what is obviously a though-provoking subject. I would be the first one to admit, I've got a "dark side" as well.

Wouldn't life be grand if we could all choose our own profession? But that is , alas, more a privilege reserved for those coming from a Western country. Having said this, In the States, it is not uncommon for a woman from the lowest rungs of the economic spectrum to end up working in a bar at some point in her life-maybe just serving drinks, maybe dancing for tips, maybe more. Ask any of them if that were the life they would choose, not one of them would say yes; if they said yes, I would just chaulk it up to resignation and damaged thinking because no one in their right mind wants to prostitute themselves if they don't absolutely have to.

There are bargirls and there are bar girls; some are gyrating from a well-greased pole and some are just serving drinks and making smiles-and therefore to paint all of them with one brush is dangerous. And certainly a Filipino bar is a radically different place than it's American counterpart. Some women have issues related to their bar jobs, some are working in bar jobs as a result of issues from outside. Some cause, some effect. I've met privileged English majors with more issues than National Geographic so it's unfair to think that therapy need be limited to a particular segment of society. I would say in all cases, the man in the relationship may have the hardest time psychologically. Again, the spectrum of the profession is so wide that unless we are specifically talking about prostitutes then we might just as well be talking about clerks in a convenience store, dealing with the early morning drunk crowd.

I don't entirely agree with SamZel that STD is the worst thing one might have to deal with an ex-sex worker. Our man in Cebu rightly points out the psychological damage which is very real and can't ever be easy to deal with, on the best day. But again, sometimes, if you're lucky, you choose your profession but more often than not, it chooses you-and I think this is generally true in the West as well; more choices obviously the higher up the socio-economic ladder you find yourself. At the end of the day, we have to applaud a woman's efforts to support her family, however she accomplishes this.

#46 Cartero

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 02:23 PM

Chris Rock, Black American comedian and actor, has a line, as a father his number one responsibility is to see that his girls do not end up dancing around a pole. If a strip and lap dance club did not open in every open space 1000 yards from a church or school it would not be funny.

Edited by Cartero, 01 July 2012 - 12:38 AM.


#47 SamnZel

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 11:38 PM

You misunderstood my post about the bargirls totally, what i meant was , I wouldn't strictly avoid getting to know an EX-sex worker with the intentions of marriage, yes I believe that some are mentally damaged by this profession , HOWEVER what i meant to say is that an STD is a big concern of mine but if i felt i had found the right woman and she happened to be an ex bargirl it wouldn't stop me from dating her .....altho we'd have to have her checked for STD before we did anything permanent.

I don't think Melody should be pilloried for a poor choice of words and at this point should be thanked for what is obviously a though-provoking subject. I would be the first one to admit, I've got a "dark side" as well.

Wouldn't life be grand if we could all choose our own profession? But that is , alas, more a privilege reserved for those coming from a Western country. Having said this, In the States, it is not uncommon for a woman from the lowest rungs of the economic spectrum to end up working in a bar at some point in her life-maybe just serving drinks, maybe dancing for tips, maybe more. Ask any of them if that were the life they would choose, not one of them would say yes; if they said yes, I would just chaulk it up to resignation and damaged thinking because no one in their right mind wants to prostitute themselves if they don't absolutely have to.

There are bargirls and there are bar girls; some are gyrating from a well-greased pole and some are just serving drinks and making smiles-and therefore to paint all of them with one brush is dangerous. And certainly a Filipino bar is a radically different place than it's American counterpart. Some women have issues related to their bar jobs, some are working in bar jobs as a result of issues from outside. Some cause, some effect. I've met privileged English majors with more issues than National Geographic so it's unfair to think that therapy need be limited to a particular segment of society. I would say in all cases, the man in the relationship may have the hardest time psychologically. Again, the spectrum of the profession is so wide that unless we are specifically talking about prostitutes then we might just as well be talking about clerks in a convenience store, dealing with the early morning drunk crowd.

I don't entirely agree with SamZel that STD is the worst thing one might have to deal with an ex-sex worker. Our man in Cebu rightly points out the psychological damage which is very real and can't ever be easy to deal with, on the best day. But again, sometimes, if you're lucky, you choose your profession but more often than not, it chooses you-and I think this is generally true in the West as well; more choices obviously the higher up the socio-economic ladder you find yourself. At the end of the day, we have to applaud a woman's efforts to support her family, however she accomplishes this.



#48 sixstringjunkie

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Posted 10 April 2013 - 10:35 AM

Think it's not really the dark side of Pinays. I think it's just the sad reality of poverty. 


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#49 melody

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Posted 10 April 2013 - 06:15 PM

Think it's not really the dark side of Pinays. I think it's just the sad reality of poverty. 

 

And i guess such sad reality of poverty could contribute to that dark side of some filipino women huh...

 

Anyway,thanks for posting...


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#50 thedreamcatcher89

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 02:38 AM

This is a very interesting topic and I cant help but butt in. I don't think that working in the bar, being a stripper whatsoever is the dark side. I think the dark side is marrying and using a person just to get one's self better. And that applies to every race. I think that the dark side is the part where the person has no regards to the other persons feelings and simply just using the person. I think that's the part that is not acceptable.

 

I have been to bars more than my fair share. And quiet honestly its enjoyable. I am fortunate that I never had to go to that kind of profession other than having my own stripping pole in the house but I have met quiet a few girls that work in bars as strippers and or more and most of them were really nice. Like if you don't see them as just bargirls, you would actually like them as a person and be friend them. Most of them have very strong beliefs and somewhat just forced to doing that and just accepting that lifestyle simply because they KIND OF didn't have a choice. 

 

I just think that life presents all of us all kinds of situations and we all react and resolve them differently.

 

 

"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."

-John Lennon



#51 melody

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Posted 14 April 2013 - 05:03 PM

This is a very interesting topic and I cant help but butt in. I don't think that working in the bar, being a stripper whatsoever is the dark side. I think the dark side is marrying and using a person just to get one's self better. And that applies to every race. I think that the dark side is the part where the person has no regards to the other persons feelings and simply just using the person. I think that's the part that is not acceptable.

 

I have been to bars more than my fair share. And quiet honestly its enjoyable. I am fortunate that I never had to go to that kind of profession other than having my own stripping pole in the house but I have met quiet a few girls that work in bars as strippers and or more and most of them were really nice. Like if you don't see them as just bargirls, you would actually like them as a person and be friend them. Most of them have very strong beliefs and somewhat just forced to doing that and just accepting that lifestyle simply because they KIND OF didn't have a choice. 

 

I just think that life presents all of us all kinds of situations and we all react and resolve them differently.

 

 

"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."

-John Lennon

 

 


 

Thanks for posting your thoughts for my thread. Many things were said here previously  that i do not remember anymore and i think to refresh my mind to those. If my confused mind undersrtood a little bit, i was corrected here by the use of dark side (title) but being comprehend by its related aspect.. :unsure:

 

I believe that dark side also represent ones personalities. Dark side,.me too has it… “ i am suplada” (snobbish) but only to men huh…i tend to be cruel to them… :P



Speaking about a person that has no regards to the other feelings and simply using these girls as bar girls,being strippers… being forced or not is a person that has a dark personalities and most those bar girls take part of this association. For what reason those girls accepted the profession ? We can relate many backgrounds of them and of their life’s story. They didn’t have a choice? They have very strong belief !! BELIEF of what? As you told they are very nice and i would like to be friend of them. Huh though i am a sociable type,..i don’t think they become friends of mine but i could approach them for another reason.I’m so selective and i am graduated for many persons’ behaviour…haha. Of course they are entertainers and they should treat well/ kindly the guest and costumers,they seem to be friendly and kind but not all those showing you these type of conduct are all honest and can be trusted huh. We are in the world of business and to make business profitable, interest of different kinds are included. I hope you understand what i mean. Well for me ,don’t know to others…..going to the bars and to associate with them is likely an immoral act  and i don’t find it enjoyble so as you,sorry.If you go in the bar just for curiousity of how’s life beyond the other wall..is another thing .I did that and i hated it, many are being amused,the place is covered with smog of smoke and lots are drunkards etc…..i don’t like that kind of environment.This is how I made ,that is you and that how other people. It’s their part of enjoying life and for survival…but IF they have a strong belief,  they should not engage with that kind of job.



I consider myself fortunate too that i never had to go to that kind of job nor encounter people that could take advantage of me…or just being used by someone because i do not wanted to..but life is crazy-ride and if in case i fall into the tramp (that’s very hard to happen) even i don’t want to,sooner i find a way to escape from that hell. So i ask ,are those girls can’t do the same…can they say i quit my job or not and why? To fight poverty there are many ways, doesn’t matter with less salary for as long as it’s clean…a dignified kind of survival. THEY DON’T or DID HAVE A CHOICE? Sorry i don’t agree with that. Life is made of choices (right and wrong) and we are the master of our lives. It is not they don’t have a choice,THEY LACK INITIATIVES



I recognize..we are all imperfect with different personalities and likes/dislikes differ from one another. There is only one thing that makes us human being similar..All we want a BETTER LIFE and wanting that better life,many lead into the dark world of instant money-making which can be considered the most convenient than following a clean way of living with sacfrices to show we really possess that kind of STRONG BELIEF. My personalities are not fit to the kind of survival they are doing,i prefer to beg money on the street, i never wanted to ruin my reputation because for me a GOOD REPUTATION IS PRICELESS. Besides i  have no face to face that kind of job…hahaha.I believe that any one of us is blessed/gifted of its own qualities and many of us inherit the spirit of darkness. I accept differences (me too is different,I’m not holy) but in my own eyes i don’t approve the kind of job they have,so I prefer to avoid such kind of bars and seeing my co-pinays in their pitiful situation.Besides i believe to the saying “ Tell me who are your friends and i tell you who you are.”



Now since we are in the public forum in the World Of Filipinas and many here agree that those pinays having that kind of job is because THEY DON”T HAVE A CHOICE…they are very nice ladies and have VERY STRONG BELIEF, so I am INVITING those foreign men who are seeking for future Filipina wives to go in the bars where ladies are working as bar girls/strippers because they don’t have a choice,surely they are not pakipot pinays and they surely don’t hesitate to say YES to come with you. So guys don’t waste time chatting many hours with those pinays online,just go in the bars and you can find the girl of your dream. Try to save other pinays life away from poverty and they could own a dept of gratitude to you.  Sounds great and seems to be a good invitation?



With my sincerity and no intention to hurt/offend anybody I say thanks to your sincerity too with this motto "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans." :)



 


Edited by melody, 14 April 2013 - 07:14 PM.

"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#52 melody

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Posted 26 December 2016 - 11:22 AM

https://youtu.be/vABOFleXLJQ

 

 

To refresh my thread,here comes a documentary/case of a pinay bargirl married to a foreign man and ended-up to murder him. Was just happened bcoz she is a filipna bargirl?


"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 


#53 Mr. Lee

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Posted 26 December 2016 - 05:07 PM

https://youtu.be/vABOFleXLJQ

 

 

To refresh my thread,here comes a documentary/case of a pinay bargirl married to a foreign man and ended-up to murder him. Was just happened bcoz she is a filipna bargirl?

It goes both ways, I was a member of another forum years ago which had a member who had a sob story about his wife being killed in a car accident, turns out that member had killed his Filipina wife in Nevada and buried her under a planter and then moved to the Philippines and brought along an urn that supposedly had her ashes in it, trouble was the next resident of his former home dug up the planter and found the body.

Man arrested in Philippines on Las Vegas murder charges

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#54 melody

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Posted 26 December 2016 - 06:04 PM

 

It goes both ways, I was a member of another forum years ago which had a member who had a sob story about his wife being killed in a car accident, turns out that member had killed his Filipina wife in Nevada and buried her under a planter and then moved to the Philippines and brought along an urn that supposedly had her ashes in it, trouble was the next resident of his former home dug up the planter and found the body.

Man arrested in Philippines on Las Vegas murder char

 

Thanks for the link Mr.Lee.

I vaguely remember such case,though i can recall the episode where he buried his wife and then his wife's dead body was found. The couple have a son,if i'm not wrong

 

I thought she was a bargirl too -_-


"Knowledge is a source of power that develope one's social,moral and sritual ability!

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.....
 





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